Ok, I'm going to confess something online today. Not because I want to, 'cause I don't, but just in case somebody else out there has been in the same boat and could use the encouragement of knowing they're not alone.
For awhile now, I think I've been afraid to spend too many hours at home with my son. Just about every day, we're out and about doing something for at least part of the time before lunch and nap. I think what made me afraid was some really bad teething days that we spent at home all day, so I started avoiding mornings at home. There were times, and still are, when my creative fount runs dry, and I can't come up with anything that'll make him happy for longer than 5 minutes.
But I don't need to run away from it. I need to face it. This morning, I woke up determined to turn over a new leaf. Instead of just promising myself that I wouldn't give in and look at the computer for "just a minute," I shut it down entirely. It's a pain to boot up my computer, due to stuff that starts up on it that I don't know how to get rid of because I'm a computer moron, so this was a good deterrant.
Seth and I played together all morning long. And it was good. And I feel a lot better because I buckled down and did the hard thing and worked to focus on him instead of on myself. Ouch. He could tell that I was trying. The boy has a cold, and he still did well because he could tell Mommy wasn't so distracted.
He played contentedly with toys because I was in the room. He used his new-to-him play slide on the back porch, over and over. He helped me put away toys and clothes and seemed thrilled to help. I usually do those chores while he's napping. Maybe I shouldn't do so much of that anymore. I could tell he understood when I asked him if he wanted to do a particular thing. We read books, we had snack, and he even did a craft with me. I cut a toilet paper roll in half, and we used it to stamp red paint circles on a piece of paper. Nothing huge, but something new and different for him.
And he blessed me so much by making a new milestone for me to put on the calendar. He said his first sentence when he got up this morning. It was "I see a shoe." =) Not too shabby for 19 months.