Saturday, July 29, 2006

No infection!

I'm back from my trip! I had a great time with Mom and Dad. It was very refreshing. Our back porch swing is a wonderful place to have quiet time. I love that swing. I came back in a much better mood than when I left. While I was home, the doctor's office called me with my test results. I don't have a trace of a urinary tract infection. I am so thankful that I don't. Since I gave the sample when I was still feeling symptoms, I think from my reading that this means that my uterus changing size and tipping up the past couple of weeks must have caused pressure that felt a lot like a uti. I was suspicious that this thing wasn't a uti because it didn't always feel like one, but the nurse told me the symptoms sounded like one, so what do you do? I've never been this pregnant before, so how do I know what it feels like? =) I'm just very grateful I won't have to go on antibiotic therapy. And I did start feeling better while I was in Oak Ridge, so that's a big relief. I'm taking cranberry pills every day, though, just to hopefully ward off any infection in the future. Thank you for praying for me. I feel kinda silly writing about this on my blog. I think I've kind of started to see the blog as a place where I would write some philosophical things that could hopefully help others who were also struggling similarly. I haven't done much of that lately, so I feel kinda slack in that department. Hopefully I'll get back to it soon. Thanks for bearing with me. I guess the challenges I face are different now, so I feel kinda scattered and out of my blog groove.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Going home...

You won't be seeing anything up for me this week. I'm going home to visit Mom and Dad. I can't remember the last time I got to go home. It may have been at Christmas; I'm not sure. Boy, I miss Oak Ridge. So I'm heading out of the Beltway, saying good riddance to miles of concrete, and I won't be back until Friday comes. Oh, and for those of you who've been praying for my infection, the antibiotic didn't cure it. I'm still drinking lots of water and cranberry juice, and they are sending off a sample to a lab today. It sounds like, though, that if I don't get better, they may have to put me on "supressive therapy," a pill a day, until I deliver. The thought of this is pretty upsetting to me. It seems that they don't think they can do anything to cure me of this either. I read that chronic uti's in pregnancy are associated with low birth weight and early delivery, so this does not make me happy. I'm trying to trust God about this, but it's hard. I just don't want anything to hurt the baby. Please pray that I'll get better soon. There isn't anything I can do, and once again, I'm tired of not being in control. And if anybody has any advice or suggestions about this, besides cranberry juice and water, or if they know anybody who's had this problem and gave birth to a healthy baby anyway, that info would be greatly appreciated. =)

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Not so fun...

Yes, I know, I know. I haven't posted in a little while. It's been busy, just settling in around here. David and I had one of our youth from the youth group we headed up in Birmingham up to visit us and see all the touristy things. We also went on a weekend trip to beautiful Harrisonburg, VA to see David's cousin and his family. And now David has started work for his justice on the Supreme Court. For security reasons, I won't be talking much about that or naming the justice that he works for on this blog. But he's very excited about getting started, and he's learning a lot about the High Court and how it functions. And he's trying to figure out all the little details of his job, but I'm sure that'll just be a process. So he started on Monday, and our long month of togetherness was cut short. Busyness is one reason why I haven't posted, another reason is that some of the newness and excitement of moving has begun to wear off, and it's been more of a struggle to be positive about this huge change in my life. I've wanted to be positive, so I haven't written because it felt like negativity would spew out on the page if I wrote earlier. And it may in this post anyway, but I tried to wait until I was in a more upbeat mood to write. =) All this negativity hasn't been helped by the fact that I've been enduring a urinary tract infection for going on two weeks now. Any of your ladies out there who've ever had one know how miserable they can be. This one is kind of low grade pain and pressure that is just constantly there making you want to tear your hair out from time to time. I've been pretty prone to them since we got married, and the antibiotics have always knocked them right out before. But now I'm pregnant, so it appears that the doctor can't give me anything truly effective to deal with this. The first antibiotic made me so sick to my stomach that I was on the edge of throwing up for two days after I stopped taking it. It didn't kill the infection, either. I'm on a new one now that is just as effective as the first one (translation: not very), and I'm worrying that I'm going to get to the end of this treatment program and not be better. How many antibiotics can I take at one time? Is this hurting the baby? Maybe this thing is becoming more and more resistent to the drugs and is now a super virus that will plague me for the rest of my pregnancy. I think the antibiotics have also made my stomach sensitive, so I wake up feeling bad, and it seems to last right up until lunch. I was hoping to enjoy my second trimester, and at this point, I'm just not. I'm not a very contented sick person, so that's another thing to add to my list of things to work on. So here I am, alone in this apartment, feeling kinda crummy, and it's easy to feel sorry for myself. Moves are never easy, and I knew this one wouldn't be, but sitting here in the middle of it is just tough. We do have a few friends in the area from law school and from when we lived here before, so we aren't starting completely from scratch. But most things are new and uncomfortable, and I don't know the area well, and that makes it harder to explore because its so easy to get lost in a large city. I'm wishing for familiarity. I'm wishing for my old job back at the preschool where I worked in Birmingham. They would've hired me for the fall, and it just would've been so easy. I wouldn't have to wonder if and when I should look for a job or contact a temp agency. I wouldn't be faced with either months by myself in this apartment or temping somewhere and/or rejection because I'm pregnant and nobody wants to hire me. It seems like there's never a good time to move, but this time feels particularly awkward at the moment. I haven't found a place to fit, and it looks like finding that place may be challenging. I know it is God's plan for us to be here. He led us here quite clearly, and I'm not doubting that. But I have learned that the places that God leads you often make very little sense to you at the time you're there. You can't quite figure out why he sent you to outer Mongolia when you wanted to go to Costa Rica. After all, you put in that request for Costa Rica years ago, and it doesn't seem like you're any closer to getting there than when you made your first request. So you sigh and put away your tropical shirts and bathing suits and pull out your mukluks and fur parkas. =) So at this point, I need prayer. I need prayer for healing from all my nasty sickness that worries and irritates me. I need prayer for acceptance for this life that I am living right now, which probably isn't so bad, but just doesn't fit well at the moment. And I need prayer that God will send people and things into my life that will make it a less isolated outpost. Oh, and I have passed my first trimester now. I'm 13 weeks today, and that has made me heave a pretty big sigh of relief. I am very thankful to have made it this far. We got to hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time on our first visit to see my new doctor, and that was something special for us. So thanks for all your prayers. Please keep them coming. Signing off from outer Mongolia... we love you. =)

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Happy 4th of July from our little family!

We watched the fireworks from the top of our 17-story apartment building tonight! David and I were planning to go to the Mall to camp out near the Washington Monument and watch the fireworks with thousands of other patriotic Americans. But as we got on the Metro today to ride to Bethesda to have a cookout with our friends, Jenny and Sean, we realized that today might not be the best day to start a new relationship with public transportation. It was hot, crowded, and full of tourists who blithely disregard Metro etiquette like letting people off the train before rushing the doors. The thought of trying to leave the Mall and get on Metro at the same time as thousands of others, pushing and shoving, became less appealing by the second. So we decided to try the view from the rooftop sundeck of our building. We are about a mile from the Pentagon, and we are probably three or four miles as the crow flies from the Washington Monument. It was a really fantastic view! We watched the sun go down and the soft glow of the lights coming on at the Lincoln Memorial, the Washington Monument, the Jefferson Memorial, and the Capitol building. It was a really interesting perspective. We could see that the fireworks were being set off between the Lincoln Memorial and the Washington Monument. We knew that when we watched the fireworks from the Mall three years ago, but we got to see the fireworks against the background of these famous monuments this time around. I would've taken a picture of the skyline for you and posted it if I thought for a second that it would turn out. Another neat thing was that we could see the fireworks of Maryland and Virginia from our vantage point. They were going off along the skyline all around the distant horizon. It was really neat! David and I were talking about where we were last year for the fireworks. We were at a resort in S.C. with Mom and Dad and Vance and Terri. It was a great vacation overall, but right before the fireworks, I was just struck by this beautiful little girl I saw, and it caused my crying jag of the week. We made it to the fireworks on the beach, but I made it there thankful for darkness so that no one could see my tearstained face. We were early in our treatments then, and we were starting to figure out that they might just be unsuccessful month after month. It was so hard. It was weird to think that that was just last year. It feels like forever ago and also far too recent at the same time. This year we watched the fireworks, and I thanked the Lord for another year, another 4th of July, and a chance at our American dream coming true. Happy 1st 4th of July, baby.