We're going on a week without computer now. Sorta. The Ipad with keyboard is mostly living here for now, and I can access Youtube videos for homeschool that way. But I'm ready to get back to normal. I miss playing Pandora in the kitchen while I'm fixing dinner, so that's a little relaxing pleasure that has gone with the computer.
Wow, its hard to get your hands on a 21 inch Mac! They have either been out of stock for days at the local Apples stores, or the one day that they got them in, I missed getting one by about 45 minutes. I'm getting disgusted with it. We may have to resort to 7-10 business days from the website....
The boys are napping (or drawing) quietly, so I get a few minutes to think about what's been good the last few days. What hasn't been good has been me waking up stressed every morning and wondering if I have the energy to keep everyone in line for that day. And the computer crash. And finding mouse droppings in the pantry. And thinking that David may be going to Chicago one day. Yes, he is. No, he isn't. Uncerainty, etc. Blah.....
The good stuff? Identifying that I do feel under some kind of spirtual attack. I don't say that lightly. I'm a lapsed Pentecostal. But there have been a lot of little things messing with my equilibrium all of a sudden, and they are tempting me to doubt that I can do the job that I believe God has called me to do... homeschooling, mothering, etc. But realizing that I'm being tested is a good thing. It keeps me on my guard and reminds me to cry out for healp.
Other good stuff? Feeling like God has got my back. I was struggling with something last night, just kinda down, and I started talking to David about it. He said, "My friend wrote a blog post about exactly this topic. He posted it today, and I was reading it on my Blackberry about 2 minutes before you started talking to me about it." So I read it, and there were some good answers and some Christ centered encouragement there for me. How's that for a shout out from the Man upstairs? =)
We've had some really nice weather, and I took the boys to the park today after Bible study. I brought part of our lunch, but I went through the McDonalds drive thru for the rest. They were sooo excited about something as simple as getting chocolate milk.
At the park, Seth spent about 20 minutes pushing Ben on the swings and encouraging him to growl and scream in excitement. While he did it, he gave me a running commentary about how much he loves his baby brother, how much he likes playing baby games with him, and why his brothers are the best brothers in the world.
All the way home, I heard, "Mom, I love that we have 3 brothers. It's better than two, isn't it? I know now that I love them and I love playing with them."
It's hard work teaching them to play well together. It's tough always making sure that they aren't being too rough with Ben. But the time they get to spend learning with each other each day is precious to me, and its worth the very real sacrifice I feel some days. :)