Wednesday, March 29, 2006

A visit to see my nephew...

I'd like to introduce everyone to the newest member of my family. He's a little heartbreaker, isn't he? This is Isaac Nathaniel Whitaker, the first child of my brother Vance and his wife, Terri. Last week was my spring break from preschool, so I went up to Minnesota on Wednesday to visit. David came up on Friday to join us, and we flew back on Monday. I was a little nervous about how I would do with Isaac. The smallest babies are the hardest for me to look at. But when I held him for the first time, I knew he had me at hello. =) Who knew I could fall so hard for a man who poops in his pants and throws up on me? Isaac looks uncannily like my brother at that age. The first time I saw a picture of Isaac, it gave me goosebumps. I was a toddler when Vance was born, so I don't remember what he looked like, but I've seen the pictures and heard the tapes of him cooing and laughing a hundred times. It was a bizarre feeling to know that I'd hugged a child that looked just like this over 20 years ago. He's a little thinner and longer, and his chin may be a shade bit different, but other than that, they could be twins, in my opinion. Terri was out of luck on this one, but I'm praying that next time around she has a little girl who's as beautiful as she is. My brother is a plant geneticist, so of course he had to take out his calculator as soon as I arrived and figure out how many genes Isaac and I share. The answer is about 12.5% of the same genes, in case you were curious. This is the kind of stuff that I get a kick out of in being family. Family resemblances and passed down traits mean something to me. That's one reason why the thought of adoption is so hard for me. I'm really enjoying being related to this little guy. I'd give him a kidney any day. =) I hope he doesn't need it. Anway, I digress. I went up early to help Terri with the baby, and she let me do just that. Terri has a philosophy that is great, but I think a bit unusual for first time mothers. Her basic idea if I understand it correctly is, "He sees you once or twice a year. If I'm not feeding him, you can hold him, change him, burp him, and spin him until he pukes. You can do this all day until bedtime. I will accept the fallout of a baby who has been held constantly for 72 hours with patience and grace." =) Ok, I'm kidding about the spinning until he pukes part. Thanks for being so generous, Terri. I'm not sure that I would be. We went shopping at the Mall of America, Terri got to nap with earplugs, talke 15 minute showers, and exfoliate her feet, and I got to cook dinner most nights. I got to let them watch a movie I'd already seen during Isaac's fussy time. I've never chopped carrots while rocking a baby with my foot before, but I did it this week. We all passed the baby around when we played a game one night. It was funny to watch Vance bounce a fussy two-month-old while attempting to play his cards. I've learned through this experience what a gift you give to others when you allow them to serve you. It's hard for me to accept help sometimes, and I think it is for all of us. But Christ talked about our role as servants so much, and we keep others from receiving the blessings of serving when we don't allow them to serve us. We don't have to have it together all the time like we think we do. Giving and receiving help strengthens the family of God so much, and I know its strengthened my relationship with Vance and Terri. I helped take care of the baby and cook, and that was my gift. I gave what I could give. Terri and Vance accepted me and loved me as a hurting, emotionally vulnerable, unpredictable sister, and that was their gift. I don't think its a fair trade, but they're willing to make it anyway. I think if I climbed on the roof of their house and took a megaphone and started singing sad songs to their neighborhood, they would shrug their shoulders, say "Ellen's having a bad month. This isn't her all the time, and we'll think the best of her basic character anyway," and go get a ladder. There aren't many people that can do that. I love you for it, Bro and Sis. I enjoyed my time in Minnesota, not because of I got to walk on a frozen lake, but because being with you helps me to allow the ice to thaw on my heart. Thank you for your warmth. I miss you.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Very cute!! He really does look just like Vance!! : ) Glad you had a good visit, sounds like fun. Rachel