Baby-friendly Bible study...

This morning, I attended my first Community Bible Study in Alexandria! For those of you who aren't familiar with Community Bible Study, it's an interdenominational Bible study found in cities all over the U.S. The studies are expositional; for instance, right now, they're going through 2 Corinthians. There is homework everyday, and at the weekly meeting, small groups go through their answers together. After that, there is a short lecture from a teaching leader on the passage studied that week. If you've ever been in Bible Study Fellowship, they are very similar. I mentioned a few weeks ago that God ran me into the new mom's group leader for CBS at Shoppers. I'm so glad He did! Her group is tailor made for me at the moment, and I'm so thankful for the ability to still do Bible study with my little man in tow. Imagine if you will, 10 moms and 10 babies, all ranging in age from my little man at almost 5 weeks to about 8 months old. There are strollers pulled around the semicircle of tables and chairs. Some babies are sitting on the table, chewing on their toys. Some moms are breastfeeding while following along in the Bible. Some babies are sleeping on their mom's shoulders. If someone starts fussing, the leader and the members just talk louder. =) Though the other groups have to go to the sanctuary to listen to the lecture after discussion time is over, the new mom's group has a tv with a live feed of it. I was able to breastfeed Seth at his regular time while listening to the lecture. The study itself is meaty scripturally and provides me with accountability for my daily quiet time because I have to share my answers with the group every week. I've done this kind of study before with BSF, and I know the daily lessons can take some time to complete, but I'm excited about trying. And the great thing is that everybody is in the same boat, so they're very understanding if you haven't completed your whole lesson for the week. I talked to Rachel, and she is in a CBS in Greensboro, but they don't have a new mom's group. She was envious that there was one here for me. I'm very thankful. God has been good. But I guess if we want to study His word, He wants to pave the way for that. =)

A new way to take pictures...

I don't have a lot to share today. Things are quiet, and I'm enjoying that. I'm learning that it's hard to get out with a baby. I'm relishing the days when I don't have to figure out how to get in and out of three stores with Seth. I have to think: should I use the stroller or the Bjorn? Should I use a combination of both? Yesterday, I put him in the Bjorn for our trips to Costco and Best Buy, and he sat in his baby carrier for the trip to Shoppers. All this maneuvering requires a lot of thought and advance preparation, and if I manage to go to three stores in my 2 1/2 hour window before the next feeding, I'm cuing the Rocky music in my head. =) But it's all worth it. Just look at that little face.

For my birthday, David got me the ultimate new mom present. Well, actually, it was so pricey that my parents and David got it for me, but he did all the initiating. I'm not getting another birthday present for the next couple of years, I think. All that to say, I'm now the proud owner of a Nikon D50 digital SLR camera. These pictures weren't taken with it. Sad to say, now that I have it, I can't replicate these poses, so these are from my little Kodak. I tried this morning with pathetic results on the sleeping pose, but maybe one day, I'll get it. I got some crystal clear, sharp, beautifully colored photographs of Seth crying while Mommy says, "Please, please, look peaceful." =) I have a gig worth of memory, so I should be able to recapture it with the 550 pictures I can take with that. =)

I do have a theory that after awhile, more isn't better, it's just more, at least as far as pictures are concerned. I remember when I paid $60 with a big rebate for my 256 mb card, and now I can get a gig for $20. But do I really need 4 gig? Do I really need to have that many pictures on my card? Can I even look through that many pictures to figure out which ones are the best? I like having the gig so I can take a lot and then delete them later if they're not great, but I think I'm getting into dangerous territory just having a 1 gig card. I think I've decided that I don't need to have more pictures around than I actually want to look through. I've put the last 5 years worth of photos into albums, and I just discovered that in the past 7 months, I've taken 200 photographs that were worth printing. That's a lot of photos. But it's not as many as I may take and want to print with this new camera. I guess I'm just calling for a little photo restraint, even when you have cute kids to take pictures of. New technology is great, but it's not great when it overwhelms you.

A weekend of firsts...

David took me to the Old Ebbitt Grill in downtown DC this Friday night for my birthday dinner. The Ebbitt is a Washington landmark; check out www.ebbitt.com. Built in 1856, it is one of the most famous watering holes around for presidents and congressmen. The decor is Victorian era saloon, complete with bow-tied, suspendered waiters, antique gas lamps, and stuffed heads bagged by Teddy Roosevelt over the bar. We both had filet mignon for a bargain price, and it was great! I loved it, and best of all, they have free valet parking, so you don't have to try to find a spot on the street. This was Seth's first restaurant experience, and he was a good boy. He slept the whole time, so David and I got to have a real date.

Check out the mural. See my husband's workplace? There was another one of the White House that was also cool.

These are the deep fried Oreos that we enjoyed for dessert. I highly recommend them if you're ever there...

Friday was also the first time that Seth visited the Court. We took him around to meet some of the clerks and secretaries, and I even got to park in the Court garage. That made the whole little adventure a lot easier, let me tell you. On Saturday night, we left the little guy with his first babysitter. Our friend, Daveed, just published his first book, and we went to his party. It was literally 5 minutes away, and we were only going to be gone a couple of hours. Still, it was really strange to be leaving phone numbers and instructions with Jen Arnold, and when we walked down the hall together, I had a momentary desire to turn around and go back for him. But we went, we saw and were seen, and we got home early and hung out with Jen for a little while. I've braved leaving Baby for the first time, and it was just fine.

This morning, it started snowing hard right as we were leaving for church. The parking lot was so slick that we turned around and just went back inside. Since it snowed hard for several hours afterward, I think we made a good call. And..we got to hear a Sovereign Grace sermon anyway. =) It wasn't from our local church; we downloaded from the one in Bloomington, MN where they had a special sermon from a member of their congregation and new caregroup leader, Vance Whitaker. Yep, my brother preached to me via MP3 this morning. I am biased because he's my brother, but I really do think it was great, objectively speaking. I'm thankful for the leadership at the church in Minnesota that recognizes the gifts of its laypeople and utilizes them in this way occasionally. Anyway, he preached on personal evangelism and the story of Phillip the Evangelist and the Ethopian eunuch. If you'd like to hear his sermon, go to www.sovgracemn.org and go under "Resources" and "Audio Sermons." His is titled, "Empowered!!! Phillip the (Personal) Evangelist."

28 years ago today...

...God saw fit to bring me into this world. Yep, it's my birthday today! And what a birthday it is! David says that I couldn't wait to open my present, so I did it a month early. My little man will be four weeks on Friday. But let us harken back to a year ago in another time and another universe... it was my 27th birthday in Birmingham, AL. I was just starting my first round of injectable ovulation drugs (they didn't work), and I was sick as a dog. The shots made my estrogen levels go through the roof, and so many little eggs were growing that they were pressing on my ovaries and making me nauseous. On top of that, I had a bad cold. My mother-in-law and I went to a Beth Moore conference right before my birthday, and I had to leave a little early so that I could go to the bathroom at the coliseum and give myself a shot in the stomach in front of Alabama's largest gathering of Christian women. My poor mother-in-law had to hold my alchohol swabs and other paraphenalia. I can't imagine what the women in that restroom thought of me... I was feeling so bad that we didn't get to go to the play or the nice restaurant that David had chosen for me. It stank. What a difference a year makes! I'm 28, and I'm no longer looking at another birthday as another year of declining fertility rates. I look back at last year's birthday, and it feels like something that was happening to someone else. Almost. It was far too real for me to ever forget. So if you had a bad birthday last year, smile. This year could find you celebrating in a very different way.

Going up to the house of my God...

This weekend was full of big firsts for Seth. He had his first bottle on Saturday! I'd frozen some milk, and David gave it to him, and he ate like a champ. We've been warned that babies can refuse a bottle if you don't get them started early and give them one regularly, so I think we're going to make this a weekly thing, even if we're not going anywhere. I want to be able to use a babysitter eventually! =) And the week as a whole went great. The first week of his life was euphoria for me, then I crashed and burned on week 2, and then week 3 we reached pleasant equilibrium now that I'm no longer worried that he doesn't know how to suck/isn't getting enough, mommy paranoia, etc. =) But by far the biggest deal of week 3 was taking him to church on Sunday. I was thinking about this, and it's a really big deal for me to take him for the very first time. When I took him through the front doors on Sunday, it was the first time that he joined the family of God to worship the Lord. He has been welcomed into God's family by God's people, and there is something so very special about that. He doesn't know it now, but that was the first of hundreds, hopefully thousands, of times that he'll join with God's local church to praise and learn and grow and fellowship. I can see him as a little boy, squirming as he colors in the pews. I can see him as an older child, taking in some of the first concepts of Christianity, being intriuged for the first time by a sermon. I can see him as a gawky pre-teen, sitting there with his teen study Bible, with a quiet fervor awakening in his heart. I see all my brothers and sisters in Christ from churches that we've served in here and there and everywhere, smiling down at my son and encouraging him in his faith in so many little ways. I see the children's church teachers that he will have, and I see those that I've known in the past, all of them a long line of faithful servants, reaching out in obedience to touch the hearts of children. My son is entering into the Body of Christ. He's only begun, and it will be a long time before he doesn't sleep through the sermon. But we're making a beginning, and though he doesn't know how significant it is for him, I do. We will take him to church, and oh, what he will gain from the Body of Christ! I pray that he will grow to have an excitement in going up to the house of God that rivals that of King David. Hey, I'm a new mom. I can pray extravagantly! =) There is nothing that I want more for my little boy than that he know Christ and find ultimate meaning in his life through Him. I can share with Seth all the big things that God has done in my life and in David's life, and I will. I will make Christ as real and personal to him as I can. But it takes the church universal and triumphant to help raise a child for God. He will learn about Christ in so many wonderful ways that we can't teach him alone through the local church. So on his first Sunday in worship, I celebrate and praise, and I thank God for this great gift for my child, the Body of Christ.

It's the little things...

Just thought I'd share today about one of the ways that I know that God loves me. Sometimes it's just too easy to make my relationship with God about rules and regulations and the proper ways of doing things. It's too easy to make my relationship with God about going through the motions of daily obedience and cultivating the appropriate thoughts and feelings. I can know that He is God, and I should adore Him for who He is without feeling much like I know Him well, or that He is all that interested in knowing me well. I can think that He has given His Son for me, and that is more than enough, and I shouldn't expect any more personal affirmations of His love for me than that. Sometimes the Lord's love doesn't feel like the personal love I expect from my friends and family, and so I stop expecting it. And then He swoops in and surprises me and reminds me that He is personally interested in me. Me! And it's great, and I wonder why I ever doubted. This past Sunday, I got a reminder message from God that He does know my needs and cares for them, even as small as they must seem to Him. David, Seth, and I were in line at the grocery store, doing the weekly shopping. The lines were amazingly long, and they were just crawling. Thankfully, David and I decided that we wouldn't get impatient, and we used the time waiting to talk. Behind us in line were a woman about my age and a little girl, about 4 years old. I noticed that they were dressed up, but around here, you don't assume that means they went to church. Not many people go to church around here compared to most places I've lived, so that would be kind of a radical assumption. Anyway, for some reason, I overheard her telling her daughter that they'd forgotten the milk, so I offered to pull her cart up behind us and let them go and get it. That then led to a conversation in which I learned that, in fact, they had gone to church that morning. Her daughter started out by telling me all about her Sunday School class and her Beginner Bible. I learned that this lady lives about 5 minutes from us, is a sincere Christian, and surprise!, just happens to lead the new mother's class at Community Bible Study in Alexandria. She invited me to the group and encouraged me that everyone brings their little babies and has a great time studying the Word together. She also told me about the local MOPS program. By the time we were done talking, I knew that God had had that line crawl like molasses for a reason. He cares enough about me and my slight apprehension about being lonely in Arlington as a new mom to stick me in line right in front of the new mom's leader for a great interdenominational Bible study that I'd considered joining before! What are the odds?!! 1 in 10,000? There have been so many little things lately that God has used to show his gentle and personal care for me, but I've been so busy and distracted that I haven't taken the time to notice like I should. This time I couldn't ignore his kind reminder that He loves to provide for the small details in taking care of this sparrow of His. I'm thankful that He isn't always subtle. What about you? Are you noticing the little ways that He makes your day a little easier? Do you notice the nursing pillow that drops into your lap two days before you desperately need it even though you didn't know you did? Are you aware of the people that He provides to open your door when you're struggling with your stroller? His small kindnesses are so sweet, and we shouldn't forget them because they don't seem as great as His big ones, like salvation. It is the little things that He gives that help me remember that He is MY Father, not just the Father of all who trust in Him. I am thankful for a personal God, and I am thankful for His intimate care for me.

Happy Valentine's Day from Seth

Yes, this is cheesy. Yes, I know it. But I was thinking of how to do something funny for David from Seth for Valentine's. Trying to paint his tiny hand seemed too hard and possibly bad for his skin. So here ya go! Seth would like to wish you a Happy Valentine's Day, and he means it from the bottom of his passy lovin' heart. =) The bad ice storm that we've had has made celebrating Valentine's a challenge this year for us. I couldn't really get out yesterday or today much to do anything. There is an advantage, though, to having one of the largest shopping malls in the Metro area right across the street. David walked in while I was giving Seth his morning snack, and he had walked to Harris Teeter to buy me tulips. Awww. Supposedly he's going to try to de-ice the car tonight to pick up dinner for us. Now this year, that is what I call romantic. =) I made a pathetic attempt to get something for him at the Eckerd's because that was as far as I was willing to venture today with the little guy in the wind. And I fell down trying to wrestle the stroller over the huge pile of snow at the crosswalk. Nobody was hurt, and it wasn't too embarassing, I guess. Sigh. I love Valentine's. It's one of my favorite holidays. This year, I don't mind sharing it with David AND Seth, but next year, he's getting a babysitter. =)

First day...

Well, I think we're going to survive our first day alone. Mom is gone, and David is at work, and Seth and I have enjoyed a pleasant, low key day at home. I even got a couple of things scratched off my teeny, unambitious to-do list. It's a miracle. =) He's napped pretty well, and I even got a shower, even though I did get out and discover he was crying in his snazzy new baby swing that he doesn't enjoy swinging in. =) How does one get a shower and get ready to go when baby is crying? Anybody have any tips? But I did manage to shower, dress, and even put on makeup, and we even took a little walk this afternoon to return a movie to the local RedBox at Harris Teeter. Terri (my fabulous sister-in-law) let me borrow her baby sling, and I'm in love with it. He falls asleep immediately as soon as I put him in it, and I can zip my jacket up around him and take a walk without worrying that someone germy will breathe on him or that he'll get cold. He's still in it right now, propped on my lap with a pillow. It's going to be feeding time at the zoo in a half an hour, and I'm afraid to interupt naptime by taking him out just yet. =) David and I were talking about the baby calendar that we got last night at dinner. It has little stickers that you can put on there for baby milestones, things like "first doctor's visit," and "first smile." We started thinking about all the first milestones that they don't include. Where is "first time he pees on you" (David has gotten peed on three times already despite his best efforts). What about "first time he screams for three hours at 3:00 a.m." or "first time his blowout ruins an outfit and you forgot to put one in the diaper bag so he spends the next three hours wrapped in two burp cloths." =) If you have any others you think Hallmark should include in their next baby calendar, let me know. But we're doing well today. I'm feeding him, and he's sleeping, and he seems generally happy, so I'm golden. What more can you ask for right now, I ask ya? I'm getting used to my new job, and like any new job, it takes time to get the hang of it. But I love seeing my little man's bitty feet sticking out of his sling. Those tiny toes still make me tear up. Drat those pregnancy hormones...

My two guys...

Doesn't he look like a grumpy little old man in this picture? =) Today I don't have a lot to share. Mom has gone home, and I'm so thankful for her being here. But David and I are sharing a quiet weekend here, getting adjusted to the two of us. Still feeling kinda weepy and overwhelmed from time to time, and I get a little anxious when it comes time to breastfeed because that's been so hard this week, but today has been a big improvement for me. So now I'm sharing pictures of my two guys. I'm so thankful for them. Looking at them both I know that every hard adjustment phase is worth it. I wouldn't trade my life with them for anything.

Seth loves looking at his daddy. David loves having him on his lap like this so he can look at his face.

We went out with the stroller for the first time last Saturday. It was pretty cold, but we bundled up really well, and the sun was shining, and there wasn't any wind. It was so fun to use the stroller for the first time. We'd really been looking forward to it for awhile. It was a successful outing.

The best $85 I've ever spent...

Well, folks, it's been quiet here in Blogland. Dabragdonfamily has been learning to cope with sleep deprivation and nursing issues. I'm doing a lot better with both. A lot better. This has been one of the hardest weeks I can remember, but I think we've turned a corner. I've napped enough to kick the nausea that I always get from lack of sleep, and the stress is abating. And things are becoming more manageable because I'm not worried anymore that I'm starving my baby. You see, I've been using this thing called a nipple shield to help him nurse. They gave it to me at the hospital to solve problems too graphic for my male readers. =) But the problem is that all the naturalist La Leche people hate this thing. Some people treat it like baby crack. They made me sign a waiver at the hospital before they'd let me take this little plastic thingy home! I've been worried that it's caused a decrease in milk supply, that he'll just reject my breast because of it, basically anything and everything bad that anyone has mentioned. And when he didn't gain back all his birth weight by yesterday, and when he started fussing at the breast some, I worried. And worried. Because I'm totally responsbible for his food. It's all my fault if he's not getting enough. I'm learning about mommy guilt in a big way. Today, at my wits end, I got professional help. God bless lactation consultants! She was able to show me by weighing him before and after we fed that he is getting more than enough milk from me. She said that these newer nipple shields would NOT cause a decrease in milk supply, and she gave me gradual tips for weaning him off, nothing harsh. And that can be done slowly. His latch on is perfect, and he's getting plenty. I needed sooo badly to hear that everything's ok. She even told me that the jaundice that he has had is the probable cause of him not gaining his birth weight completely back. Why didn't the pediatrician tell me that? He's fired. =) I want to see her now for every appointment. So things are going better for this new mom. I'm finding my stride. I'm even learning how to put him to sleep ala the Baby Whisperer, and it's working! No, I don't have control, but I have coping mechanisms, and that's all I need, just to know that I'm giving him what he needs and we'll be ok. This blog may be quiet; it may not. Next week is my first week without any help, and it'll probably be rocky. God bless my long suffering mother. She's been a saint this week. She's put up with me tearing up, raging hormones, and bad traffic to and from Fairfax today on this mission of mercy. She deserves a jewel in her crown for this week. So until I see you again, please keep praying us through this transitional time, but I am doing some better.

And now comes the crash...

High highs have low lows. Or so I always tell myself when the inevitable crash comes. Last week was wonderful, and I didn't nap when he napped. My week of Percoset ended, and my sleepy, dreamy baby changed yesterday. All of a sudden, he now has crying jags that don't end quickly, and he doesn't nap as well. Last night, or should I say this morning, I discovered that a baby can cry for 2 hours for no apparent reason. I cursed my one bedroom apartment soundly the night before last when I realized that Seth will wake my sleep deprived husband because my helpful mother is sleeping in the living room and I can't pace in there. I'm so tired that I have a headache, and I'm sick to my stomach. If Mom wasn't here, I think I'd be on the verge of collapse. So to all you moms out there who knew this was coming, pray for me when you stop laughing. I know it'll get better, but the adjustment period is a drag. Now I'm off to nap. Again.

Days of wonder...

Ok, I'm a new mommy now, so you're going to be seeing a lot of pictures on this blog for awhile. =) I realized that I hadn't posted a good picture of the little guy's face, so here he is! I think he looks a lot like his daddy's baby pictures. He has his daddy's strong nose =), and he has his daddy's big eyes. This was taken during alert time. At the moment, he's an amazingly good baby. He sleeps a lot, and I do mean a lot. We have to tickle, poke, prod, and change his diapers to keep him awake and eating, but he does eat well. After he eats, he has a period of nice alertness where he just looks around at us for about 20 minutes, and then it's off to dreamland again. We have to wake him up to feed him every three hours. He sleeps in his cradle without fussing much at all, and if we give him a passy for a few minutes, he then spits it out and goes to sleep without it. I hear this is all normal newborn behavior, but I don't think it works this way for every newborn. I'm crossing my fingers and toes and wondering how long this will last, but at the moment, I'm really enjoying it. He is eating really well, after having a tough time learning to breastfeed in the hospital. We finally started getting the hang of it, and now that my milk has come in, things are getting much easier. Breastfeeding is a lot harder than it looks, but I may post more on that later. We got home from the hospital on Monday afternoon, and we were really ready to leave. Everyone was great there, but we had no time to rest with all the poking and prodding that they did on both me and Seth. It was so good to get back to our own place and introduce him to our home. And David has and will be with me all week, changing lots and lots of diapers, keeping a chart on the computer for feedings and diapers, and basically being the best and most involved daddy that I could ever imagine.

So, how am I doing with it all, you ask? Am I exhausted and cranky and sore and feeling overwhelmed? I can't believe it, but...no. I feel kind of guilty for saying this, because I know that a lot of new mothers don't have an easy time of it, and I don't want to make them feel bad at all. But I have to tell you, these have been some of the best days of my life. I wake up to feed him excited because I know that I'll get to hold him again. I could stare at his little face for hours without getting bored. Who knew that I could do that? Every tiny little first thing is such a big deal to me. I got excited about getting ready to take him to our first doctor's appointment. I loved putting him into his baby carrier for the very first time. I love dressing him in one new little outfit after another. I am giddy with happiness, basically. I was expecting to be tired, and I am, but I was not expecting to feel a rush of happiness and joy like this. I have fallen in love once before, so I recognize the symptoms. I'm riding high because I'm falling in love with a new man in my life, one that I've been waiting to meet for a long time. And now he's here, and I just can't get enough of him. There is nothing like putting him in bed with me before we get ready to feed and stroking his little head. I am amazed that God created him from me and David and put such a little miracle in my arms. His tiny perfection is something that I marvel over, from his amazingly perfect little fingernails to his perfect little rosebud mouth.

It was a long wait, but it was worth it. Some of you may be waiting, impatiently waiting to meet the child that God has for you. You may feel like the days are passing so slowly, and you don't know if you'll make it through. I know how you feel. But one day, it will be over. You'll have that perfect child that God planned for your family. He may come from your body, or he may grow in your heart, but he's coming. Don't lose heart. The journey is long, but the destination is beautiful.