Wednesday, November 18, 2009

11:19 p.m.

Rough day. Rough last few days, actually.

Evan is not an easy baby. And he's started sleeping like a newborn again. He's up some nights 3-4 times, and its been a lot of nights for the last few weeks. Not really sure what to do about this, since Seth never did it. He's such a long, skinny thing that I don't want to deny him needed food if he's having a growth spurt or something. But that makes for a tired mommy.

Napping also isn't going well during the day right now. I might get an hour and 15 minutes out of him in one stretch... tops. And its not like he's super contented when he's awake. He wants to be held... or he'll cry. And since I get tired of listening to the crying, I give in and hold him. Sometimes I put him down for a nap, and he'll sleep, and sometimes I put him down, and he won't. No amount of letting him cry it out works if he's really in a mood... believe me, I've tried.

I'm worn thin today. I went from having 3-4 hours a day when I could get things done and hear myself think, unencumbered, to having about an hour each day. I was spoiled with just Seth. And I miss the time and the peace. I miss having time with just Seth to play and talk when I'm not trying to recover from being frazzled because of Evan's fussiness or listening for him to cry any moment.

And have I mentioned that, while Seth has peeing in the potty down cold, he will not poop in toilet? 'Nuf said.

This is me, venting. And hoping that tomorrow and the next day are a little easier. Sarah and I have a date with some Mexican food and no children tomorrow night, and I can't wait...


Shannon said...

OH, do I EVER hear you!! While I'm so sorry that someone else is dealing with these issues, it's strangely comforting to know I'm not alone. Collin is by FAR my most difficult baby...and he's my 4th! (I feel like I should have it down by now, but so much is new with him.) He is fussy unless he is held, does NOT nap well, and only started sleeping WELL at night a few weeks ago......until the last 2 nights when he's been up a LOT again. SOOO discouraging! He is ravenously hungry very frequently, though he's not lanky and/or deficient in the baby roll department. :) Still, I can't just not feed him if he's hungry...
Most days, I'm totally frazzled and frustrated and guilt-ridden over all the things I used to do that I can't seem to get done anymore. I feel like my time and attention with the other kids is lacking, and certainly my time and attention to my husband is suffering. He is understanding (thankfully), but wow. I just keep reminding myself that consistency in working toward goals (like a good eating/sleeping schedule, being satisfied/content playing alone for a few minutes withOUT being held, etc.) will eventually pay off. In the meantime, "just keep swimming!!" :)
I'll be praying for you!

Momma B. said...

Wow. My heart goes out to both of you...It's so strange for me to feel like I am finally on the other side of this coin! O and J were both difficult. Olivia didn't really start sleeping well until she was 2. She screamed and screamed And Judson screamed til he was 5 months old.... is only a distant memory now. I wish there was more I could offer as encouragement...if you are dealing with colic it generally corrects itself around the 6 month mark...otherwise just keep doing the hard stuff and you will make it through.
For me, the guilt and exhaustion was BY FAR the worst. I am saying a prayer for you and Shannon right now! I love you both!

Megan said...

If you ever need another break just let me know. I can bring my book and earplugs and you can go back to my house and take a nap =)