No sacrifice...

This Monday, I went to a funeral. I said goodbye to the mother of my sister-in-law, Cheryl Stolldorf. This picture shows Terri, Cheryl, Isaac, and Allie, taken not long before Thanksgiving. It's a little hard to look at for me because it shows the vibrant, young person that she was. Death is not natural. We were not created for it, but because of the Fall, it is here with us. Someone leaving us in the prime of life is hard for us to take, at least it is for me. I can rejoice, knowing that Cheryl is with her Maker, but I grieve because my sister will not have her mother's gentle, godly counsel in the years to come. I am sad because her family is at a loss without her as a pillar of strength and love. And I mourn the loss to all of us that knew her because we will miss out on learning from her wondeful example of Biblical womanhood. I'm writing about her funeral this morning because it affected me the way that no other funeral has. It got me thinking some new thoughts that I hope will change my heart and my way of living, and I hope that it's honoring to Cheryl for me to post about them. There were a lot of eulogies given at Cheryl's funeral. Some of her sister's spoke, and some of her friends spoke, and Terri gave the best eulogy of all. Through each thing that was said, a different aspect of this woman's life came out for me to see. I saw the godly example that she has been to her younger sisters over her life, seeking diligently to encourage them in their faith. She was someone that they looked to for guidance as to what God would have them to do. To her friends, she was a mentor unaware. They looked to her example for how to raise their children and love their husbands. They told stories of prayers she prayed for them and times that she dropped everything in her schedule to help them through a tough time. She made them countless meals, and she was there when a crisis hit. One friend said that she never heard Cheryl gossip in all the years that she knew her. What a testimony that is! To Terri, she was a model of godly womanhood that has shaped Terri. I realized as Terri spoke that many of the things that I admire about her are things that she learned from her mother. That shouldn't be startling, but I saw it with new eyes. Terri spoke of her mother's boundless hospitality and love for the family of God. This woman took her responsibility to love the church very seriously. Terri had counted up the number of guests that her mom had had in her home the first year that she and Dan planted a church by looking at her mom's guestbook. There were over 150 days out of that year that they had guests in their home. Her mom wore out several sets of sheets, and Terri said she didn't complain about all the hostessing that she did. Terri stood there, by her mother's side, and got to participate in this joyful hospitality. What a wonderful example for her! Cheryl loved Dan and her children, and she showed it by learning about their interests, even football and rock music. I saw her selfless hospitality in the way that she opened her home to her son-in-law's family during the holidays. Her precious time with her daughter was very limited, since they live in Minnesota now, but she didn't hoard it for herself. She invited all of us over during her time with them, and that willingness to share them when she didn't have to spoke volumes to me. My parents were invited to Thanksgiving dinner this year when Vance and Terri were there. She didn't have to do this, but she did it any way. She lived her life in such a way that you knew that she was deliberately choosing to put others before herself. She did this because she'd given her life to Christ, and she wanted everyone to know that if she did anything good, it was because of Him in her life. After her first brain surgery a month ago, she prayed that she'd be willing to die if it meant that one person would be saved as a result of her death. I don't know if I could pray that way, but I truly believe that she meant it. She knew her Lord, and she wasn't afraid to leave to go be with Him. At her funeral, a small dance troupe from her church danced to a song by Josh Upton called "No Sacrifice." There were three girls, one wearing all white, and two wearing all black. The one wearing white brought out a basket filled with white petals, and as she danced, she threw them out in joyful abandon to God. Here are the words:

To you I give my life, not just the parts I want to,

To you I sacrifice these dreams that I hold on to

Your thoughts are higher than mine

Your words are deeper than mine

Your love is stronger than mine

This is no sacrifice

Here's my life

To you I give the gifts Your love has given me

How can I hoard the treasures that you've designed for free?

Because Your thoughts are higher than mine...

To you I give my future

As long as it may last

To you I give my present

To you I give my past

Because Your thoughts are higher than mine...This is no sacrifice

Here's my life

When they rolled out Cheryl's casket, this song was playing in the background. I think I will see that image whenever I hear this song for a very long time. It's been in my head for the past several days. And I'm thinking about it. I'm thinking about her life as a model for mine. I'm realizing that I have wonderful opportunities for my life that I haven't been using to the utmost. I have been blessed with the gift of a godly Christian husband who wants to serve the Lord with me, just like Cheryl. What am I doing with that gift? Am I using it to it's full potential? Cheryl took the Christian upbringing that her parents gave her and utilized it to get closer to the Lord. She took it to the next level. Am I doing the same with what my mom gave me? I have advantages that my mom didn't have because I married David, and he has the same vision for serving the Lord that I do. I don't need to forget that, and I have been. What am I doing with the blessings that God has given me? Am I hoarding them for myself, or I am pouring myself out to my family and my friends and my church? On Monday, I got a unique picture of the life of someone who was years ahead of me in Christian service and maturity. She had 20+ years of a life lived for Christ on me. But she started out in many ways where I am today. When 20+ years have gone by for me, will my life look a lot like hers? Will I have used what was given to me in the ways she has? I haven't been intentional enough in thinking about that, but I am now, and I hope the answer is "yes." Thank you, Cheryl, for giving me the gift of your example. Your life is one that I would be proud to emulate because you emulated the only One truly worthy of emulation. Your funeral service was a gift to me, and I think that you'd be pleased to know that.