Dreaming of baby...

I had the most interesting dream last night. It was weird, and it was vivid, and it was great all at the same time. I dreamed that I discovered that I could see the baby by sitting in the sunlight at a certain angle in the afternoons. Somehow, it made my skin translucent, and I could see right through my stomach. My view of him was like I was sitting back and looking at someone else's tummy (don't ask me how that works), and I remember feeling so happy to be able to see him and interact with him. In my dream, he had dark hair and a big smile, and he grinned at me when I looked at him. He didn't look much like a newborn, but he was very tiny. He was floating around, and he seemed so happy. I loved that I got the chance to check on him every day. He got tangled up in his umbilical cord, and he was choking, but since I could see him, I knew what was going on. I somehow pushed my fingers around on top of my stomach and got the cord untangled. After that, I was a little worried, but I knew I'd be able to use this light angle thing to check on him again, so I didn't worry too much. At the end of my dream, a little girl came and asked me to take the baby out so we could play with him, so I did. Somehow he was out, and I could hold him for a minute, but I told her that I had to put him back really soon. For some reason, I could get him out, but he couldn't be out for long before he had to go back in and keep growing. At that point, I woke up. I guess this is just my brain's way of processing my desire to hold my son. I also figure it's about wanting to make sure that everything is ok with him. I wish for that, and I can't do it right now. I have to trust God to untangle cords and make sure amniotic fluid is ok. It's really hard for me to let go and trust that this baby will be born alive and healthy. Life doesn't come with guarantees. I have to work on not worrying about things I can't ever control, but for now, it's nice to see my little man in my dreams.