Family time at Christmas...

We went to Oak Ridge for Christmas break this year. For the past several years, this has been our plan. David's brother and his family were only off at Thanksgiving because of Dan's job, so we spent that holiday with his side. And, Christmas has also been the time when Vance and Terri were most likely to be able to come, so we'd see them them. It worked out. Dan's job has changed, and we're in transition, so most likely, we'll be spending some Christmas' with David's family from now on, but this Christmas was another with my kin. It was full of family down time, and I treasure that. The picture above is my favorite picture from this trip. Isaac found Mom's pot cabinet. I vividly remember loving to play in this cabinet as a child. It was right on baby level, and the pots made the most satisfying crashing noise. I loved it. It gave me warm fuzzies when he opened it up and started banging away. We come full circle... Oh, he's also wearing his cousin's ducky bib. We had to decorate him for my shower, too!

This is where we spend a lot of time whenever my family gets together. My parent's house is not that big, but my mom planned it out so that the kitchen would be one of the largest rooms in the house. She was smart, becuase that's where we spend most of our time. Now that I have a sister who loves to cook as much as Mom and I do, it's guaranteed that we'll always be hanging there when we get together. Here I am in my apron. It's a wonder I can still tie it. Dad looks dour, but he believes that his smile is less than appealing, so he doesn't smile for pictures. That doesn't mean he isn't happy on the inside, though. =)

Ok, Vance and Terri claim that they didn't plan this, but they did get dressed to go to the gym in the same room. I suspect they might've been trying to look cutesy in their matching college shirts, but who knows, they could be telling the truth. Isaac has a fun habit these days of reaching from one person to another. Whoever's holding him, he thinks it might be more fun to go to the person standing next to them. He'll stay, give them a hug, and move on. Hey, at least he's a cuddler. And I appreciate that he wanted his aunt to play with him a lot this Christmas. I like to think that he knows me and recognizes some of my mannerisms from his daddy. But he's only 11 months, so I could be kidding myself. But this kid is sharp. He did find the tv remote this year, and he figured out how to push the button and change the channels. He was fascinated, and he knew that the button would change the channel. Pretty good for a kid without a tv at home. I think he's a baby genius, but I know I'm biased.

We came back from Christmas holidays on the day after Christmas so that I could be around here a month before my due date. My son is due in less than a month, Jan. 25! I've washed and put away all my baby clothes, and that was so much fun. I loved looking at the little tiny wash cloths and socks and baby hats. It's hard to believe that he'll be wearing them soon. Now I have to get some projects finished in a hurry! Usually we spend New Year's with some college friends, but we won't be doing that in NC this year. But...Perry and Amanda from college days will be coming down from PA to spend New Years with us this year! So we will get to play spades anyway! That reminds me, I'd better go clean the bathroom and finish the dishes! So if I don't post again, Happy New Year! Oh, and David's mom and dad, if you're reading this, David's at work all day, so that's why we haven't called. He's been working a lot since we got back. We'll call soon; we promise.

I scream...

If you've been keeping up with this blog, you may have noticed that I posted about my early pregnancy craving for gummy bears. Well, this is my other main pregnancy craving. Unfortunately, it hasn't been easy for me to obtain. I don't just crave mint chocolate chip ice cream. Oh no, that would be tooo easy. I crave Mellobuttercup mint chocolate chip ice cream, and you can only get that in one place, I think. You can only get it from Doss' in Kernersville, NC. They have the best mint chocolate chip ice cream that I've ever tasted, and I've tasted a lot of brands. My memory never fools me; it's always just as good as I remembered it. There have been times when I've been tempted to beg my mother to go down there and get me some and send it up to me packed in dry ice. =) So when I was home at Christmas, Dad and I went and got me some. See how happy I look? And this is a single scoop cone, folks, for the low, low price of $1.75. Beat that, Ben and Jerrys!

Here we have my favorite ice cream scooper. I realized that this man has been serving me great food for my entire life, and I've never taken his picture. He is a Doss, and he's an owner of this fine establishment. Just about every time I go, he's there, bent over the griddle. I can hear him calling out the order numbers in my mind- "188!" Doss' is a Southern, small town institution. It has something that no chain restaurant can ever have, in my humble opinion. It serves up greasy grilled cheese sandwiches (my favorite) and pink hotdogs and cherry coke made with real cherry syrup (mmmmm). But it also serves up something else. There is a small town atmosphere there that you just can't find at Hardee's. And the food is better. There are pictures of clowns all over the walls, and you see the occasional old Snoopy poster or Nascar picture. The booths are red and white plastic, and there's country music playing. If you've been in one of these kinds of places, you'll know what I'm talking about, and if you haven't, you just won't.

Doss' is special to me, too, because it's a special place for me to go with my Daddy. Mom is a health nut/wacko, and she refuses to touch anything they serve with a 10 ft. pole, so somehow it developed that Dad and I would go there by ourselves. Now we wouldn't let her come if she wanted to. Sorry, Mom, but this is father-daughter time. Dad and I go just about every time I come to visit, and we chew the fat and just have a little time to ourselves. I'm so glad that I have a father who looks forward to these kinds of little traditions with me. He has always made it a priority to find ways to spend time with me, even though I don't share his abiding love of fishing, golf, and hunting. My dad is a man of few words, and we don't always have "deep" conversations at Doss', but going there provides a way to make sure we get the face time we need. It's something stable and abiding in my crazy world, and I'm thankful for it. Thanks for clogging my arteries, Daddy. I love you.

Getting ready for baby...

On the Saturday before Christmas, David and I started getting ready for Baby. Not that we hadn't been doing little things here and there before then, but that was the day that we decided it was time to go out and get the travel system. Somehow, this was symbolic for us. We'd been avoiding getting this item as long as possible because we didn't want to rearrange the closet so we could figure out how to grunt and sweat and heave around this monstrous piece of baby gear, so we avoided. But we were getting ready to go to NC for Christmas, and people were starting to say things like, "Are you ready? You really should get ready. You never know...this baby could come any day." So we started some necessary panicking, and this is the result. We visited Babies R 'Us and got all the little things we figured we absolutely had to have before the baby arrives. David gets better and better all the time at putting things together. He got the stroller assembled and the infant carseat strapped in the car in only a little over an hour. I'm impressed. So I drove to NC and back with that baby seat in the back of the Camry, staring me the face, saying, "Here I am. There might be something riding in me before you know it." We played it better safe than sorry, I guess. No baby yet, and I'm glad. It's too early, yet.

At this point, I'm a month from my due date. (Long pause for emphasis). And I'm starting to do a little of the freaking out that the baby books say you'll do. David and I were driving back from NC, just enjoying our time together, and he wanted to stop at a rest stop to go to the bathroom. Now, I don't particularly care for rest stops. I think it's a waste of time to stop at them when you could go to a nice, climate controlled gas station with cleaner bathrooms and the possibility of snacks that don't come from an overpriced vending machine that you're standing in front of in the freezing cold. This is how I feel about rest stops, but I'm not prone to throwing a hissy fit about stopping at one. No big deal, right? Wrong. We stop at this rest stop, and by the time we are back in the car, I'm spitting mad because we stopped there. I know that it's stupid that I'm so angry, but I'm really, really angry. So I tell David that I'm angry, and that I know I shouldn't be, and that it certainly can't really be about the rest stop. Being the kind and gentle soul that he is, he understands that this isn't really directed at him, and he tries to help me figure out what I'm so upset about.

Rest stops are no big deal, I decide, but the thought of being a mother is beginning to scare me. I'm looking at myself and realizing that I'm an amazingly selfish human being. I greatly enjoy 8 hours of sleep a night, and I'm whiny when I don't get it. I like to read books, take long bubble baths, and do what I want when I want to do it. I spent a few days at Christmas with my 11-month-old nephew who is a poster child for adorable baby boys, but let's face it, he's a baby. He has lots of needs that have to be met all the time, and his parents are not guaranteed 8 hours of sleep at night, and sometimes they just can't fix it when he's grumpy. It's a lot of work being a parent. It requires tons of self sacrifice, 24-7-365 days a year. I took a few good looks at him with new eyes, and I felt like I was standing in line at boot camp with a big, mean drill sargeant standing in front of me, poking my chest with a menacing finger and saying, "You think you got what it takes? Huh? Drop and give me 20, soldier! And then spend the night in the sleep deprivation tank."

I want to meet my son. I am so thankful that God has given me the chance to become a parent. But I know that this is going to be the biggest, toughest thing that I have ever done. I am going to have to learn to die to myself in ways that I can't yet imagine. And that's a scary thought. I know me, and I know that I don't have it in me, in my own power, to be the parent I would like to be. I'm going to need some divine intervention to do even a halfway decent job at this lifetime of selfless giving thing. So when I post that this little guy is here, please start praying for me that I would be the God-honoring mom that I want to be that constantly puts someone else's needs before my own without feeling resentful about it. I need a brain and heart transplant. =)

Christmas at the Court...

Here we are at the Supreme Court Christmas Party! It's an annual event for all Court employees and their families, and it's a fancy bash, lemme tell ya. There was plenty of food and drink, the Marine Corps string quartet was playing, and as you can see, there's a tree reaching toward the stratospheres. I think I'm about 34 weeks in this picture, and my Great-Aunt Mary says I look like I've swallowed a sugar baby watermelon. =) I took the Metro to the Court for the party, and after it was over, we walked a couple of blocks to Union Station to metro to Bethesda to babysit for some friends. Not too shabby for a very, very pregnant woman. I'm still feeling pretty good; no swelling so far, but it's getting harder to sleep at night. Sigh.

This was just a small part of the tasty goodies at the party. That table was the dessert table, where you could get eggnog, apple cider, and hot chocolate, as well as all the sugar and carbs one could ever want. David is on the left, leaning over and trying to decide what he wants. Notice the gigantic Christmas tree in the background. It's a live tree, and it's probably about 30 ft. tall, tall enough to touch the ceiling of the grand hall in the Court. Some hill top is missing you, big guy.

"Three French hens, two turtledoves, the U.S. Attorney General, and a couple of Supreme Court justices..." =) Apparently, it's an annual tradition to gather around the grand piano in one of the conference rooms at the Court to sing Christmas carols every year. Chief Justice Roberts led the singing for awhile, and then he handed the baton off to Justice Scalia (standing next to the woman in green). Justice Scalia is an enthusiastic singer. You might also notice a distinguished looking man wearing a red tie and looking up. That's Mr. Alberto Gonzalez. I think we were singing "Silver bells...it's Christmas time in the city," at this point. Merry Christmas from Washington, DC.

My handsome hubby...

I love this picture of David, but I hadn't gotten around to posting it. It was taken outside the Court on the day of the partial birth abortion arguments. He got me a ticket to them, and afterward, I asked him to turn around when we were walking back to the Metro. Sometimes its hard to get a natural smile from him, but this time I did. Isn't he handsome? This is what he wears to work every day these days. I love you, honey.

No sacrifice...

This Monday, I went to a funeral. I said goodbye to the mother of my sister-in-law, Cheryl Stolldorf. This picture shows Terri, Cheryl, Isaac, and Allie, taken not long before Thanksgiving. It's a little hard to look at for me because it shows the vibrant, young person that she was. Death is not natural. We were not created for it, but because of the Fall, it is here with us. Someone leaving us in the prime of life is hard for us to take, at least it is for me. I can rejoice, knowing that Cheryl is with her Maker, but I grieve because my sister will not have her mother's gentle, godly counsel in the years to come. I am sad because her family is at a loss without her as a pillar of strength and love. And I mourn the loss to all of us that knew her because we will miss out on learning from her wondeful example of Biblical womanhood. I'm writing about her funeral this morning because it affected me the way that no other funeral has. It got me thinking some new thoughts that I hope will change my heart and my way of living, and I hope that it's honoring to Cheryl for me to post about them. There were a lot of eulogies given at Cheryl's funeral. Some of her sister's spoke, and some of her friends spoke, and Terri gave the best eulogy of all. Through each thing that was said, a different aspect of this woman's life came out for me to see. I saw the godly example that she has been to her younger sisters over her life, seeking diligently to encourage them in their faith. She was someone that they looked to for guidance as to what God would have them to do. To her friends, she was a mentor unaware. They looked to her example for how to raise their children and love their husbands. They told stories of prayers she prayed for them and times that she dropped everything in her schedule to help them through a tough time. She made them countless meals, and she was there when a crisis hit. One friend said that she never heard Cheryl gossip in all the years that she knew her. What a testimony that is! To Terri, she was a model of godly womanhood that has shaped Terri. I realized as Terri spoke that many of the things that I admire about her are things that she learned from her mother. That shouldn't be startling, but I saw it with new eyes. Terri spoke of her mother's boundless hospitality and love for the family of God. This woman took her responsibility to love the church very seriously. Terri had counted up the number of guests that her mom had had in her home the first year that she and Dan planted a church by looking at her mom's guestbook. There were over 150 days out of that year that they had guests in their home. Her mom wore out several sets of sheets, and Terri said she didn't complain about all the hostessing that she did. Terri stood there, by her mother's side, and got to participate in this joyful hospitality. What a wonderful example for her! Cheryl loved Dan and her children, and she showed it by learning about their interests, even football and rock music. I saw her selfless hospitality in the way that she opened her home to her son-in-law's family during the holidays. Her precious time with her daughter was very limited, since they live in Minnesota now, but she didn't hoard it for herself. She invited all of us over during her time with them, and that willingness to share them when she didn't have to spoke volumes to me. My parents were invited to Thanksgiving dinner this year when Vance and Terri were there. She didn't have to do this, but she did it any way. She lived her life in such a way that you knew that she was deliberately choosing to put others before herself. She did this because she'd given her life to Christ, and she wanted everyone to know that if she did anything good, it was because of Him in her life. After her first brain surgery a month ago, she prayed that she'd be willing to die if it meant that one person would be saved as a result of her death. I don't know if I could pray that way, but I truly believe that she meant it. She knew her Lord, and she wasn't afraid to leave to go be with Him. At her funeral, a small dance troupe from her church danced to a song by Josh Upton called "No Sacrifice." There were three girls, one wearing all white, and two wearing all black. The one wearing white brought out a basket filled with white petals, and as she danced, she threw them out in joyful abandon to God. Here are the words:

To you I give my life, not just the parts I want to,

To you I sacrifice these dreams that I hold on to

Your thoughts are higher than mine

Your words are deeper than mine

Your love is stronger than mine

This is no sacrifice

Here's my life

To you I give the gifts Your love has given me

How can I hoard the treasures that you've designed for free?

Because Your thoughts are higher than mine...

To you I give my future

As long as it may last

To you I give my present

To you I give my past

Because Your thoughts are higher than mine...This is no sacrifice

Here's my life

When they rolled out Cheryl's casket, this song was playing in the background. I think I will see that image whenever I hear this song for a very long time. It's been in my head for the past several days. And I'm thinking about it. I'm thinking about her life as a model for mine. I'm realizing that I have wonderful opportunities for my life that I haven't been using to the utmost. I have been blessed with the gift of a godly Christian husband who wants to serve the Lord with me, just like Cheryl. What am I doing with that gift? Am I using it to it's full potential? Cheryl took the Christian upbringing that her parents gave her and utilized it to get closer to the Lord. She took it to the next level. Am I doing the same with what my mom gave me? I have advantages that my mom didn't have because I married David, and he has the same vision for serving the Lord that I do. I don't need to forget that, and I have been. What am I doing with the blessings that God has given me? Am I hoarding them for myself, or I am pouring myself out to my family and my friends and my church? On Monday, I got a unique picture of the life of someone who was years ahead of me in Christian service and maturity. She had 20+ years of a life lived for Christ on me. But she started out in many ways where I am today. When 20+ years have gone by for me, will my life look a lot like hers? Will I have used what was given to me in the ways she has? I haven't been intentional enough in thinking about that, but I am now, and I hope the answer is "yes." Thank you, Cheryl, for giving me the gift of your example. Your life is one that I would be proud to emulate because you emulated the only One truly worthy of emulation. Your funeral service was a gift to me, and I think that you'd be pleased to know that.

Caregroup baby shower...

Christine, Ruth, and Bethany at Taye's house for my shower.

Last night, I had my very first baby shower. Our church has small groups, or caregroups, and our new caregroup threw a shower for me. I walked in, and it was overwhelming to see all the work they'd put into this evening. There were streamers and balloons and a table of treats and a diaper cake! Mary, our caregroup leader's wife, had asked David what kinds of foods I liked, so there were a couple of cheesy dishes, as well as a bowl of gummy bears in honor of the main pregnancy craving I've had. =) Ruth was in charge of games, and I had to pick the best drawing of a baby drawn on top of your head with a crayon. We laughed and talked and ate, and I saw their generosity in so many things, from the shower details to the thoughtful gifts. David sent a letter to be read to me, and they all spent time praying for us before the shower ended. What a great group of godly women! In our church, you must join a caregroup to become a member. I didn't understand this at first, but I'm understanding it more and more all the time. We go to a large church, so real relationships don't happen much just on Sunday morning. Our elders know this, so that's why caregroup is so important to them. Caregroup is where you serve the body of Christ and are served by it. It's where we come with our problems and joys, and it's where we help each other seek God for both of them. I have experienced that each member of our caregroup really takes it seriously to care for the other members. If they didn't, they wouldn't go to so much trouble to reach out to me, a really new member, with such selfless love. We've only been in this church for about six months, and they gave me a shower fit for a queen. I am really humbled by their selfless generosity. We are not alien and fatherless here. We have found a church home with the body of Christ, and I am in awe of it. What a gift for me, a girl in transition who thought there just might not be any baby showers. Our God is good to provide even that non-essential thing to bless me. Thanks, girls, for serving the Lord through reaching out to me in this way.

An amazing diaper cake, courtesy of Christine. I can't imagine how much time she put into this. Thanks, Christine!

Me joyfully opening my goodies. =) That's Kristin sitting beside me on the couch.

Julie and Taye. They have such nice smiles.

Mary and Christine hamming it up.

Anne and Diana, the continuing story...

This weekend, Sarah came to visit me. Well, at least, that's the name that the rest of the world knows her by. To me, she has another name. She's Diana, and I'm Anne. See, Sarah and I share a fascination with all things Anne of Green Gables, so somehow, many years ago, we started calling ourselves by those names. It's just one of a lifetime of inside jokes we share. And I'm not kidding about the lifetime part. Sarah and I met when we were 8 years old. My first memory of her is being at her house and playing with her bunny, Cottontail. We grew up together, and that statement is filled with multifaceted layers. I never had a sister, but she's the closest thing that I had to one. I have lots of sisters in Christ, but nobody else that I shared all the good and bad of the growing up years with. There is something special about somebody who has known you- all the many faces of you as you grow and change, and the core of you that remains from the minute they met you as a little girl. Sarah knows me, and I know Sarah. I know the good, the bad, and the ugly about her, and she knows the same about me. We've fought like sisters, and we've made up like sisters. There have been times when we've had to put up with each other, but in those times, neither of us gave up. Because you don't give up on your sister. And eventually, she'll grow out of it. =) I know we both believed this about the other, and it's proven to be true. She gets me. It's nice to be gotten. I've moved a lot, and I've changed a lot. So has she. But there are some things that we just don't need to explain. A look is sufficient, or one word can trigger a host of memories. It's friendship comfort food. You put a lot of years into stirring that pot of soup, and after years of homeschooling together, going to college together, and figuring out married life together, each time you taste it, it gets more satisfying. When I was younger, I was a pretty pushy broad. I thought I had it all figured out, and I told Sarah my philsophies on life quite regularly. I pushed too hard, and I was a big ol' know-it-all sometimes. She put up with it. =) I'm getting older, and I've experienced more, and now I have more compassion. And I give Sarah credit for this: she knows the pushy person I used to be, and she doesn't assume that I'm that exact same person anymore. Despite knowing years of that me, she has graciously given me the gift of believing that I can change for the better. Yeah, I'll still always be a pushy broad in some ways, and I'm sure we both know it. But she believes in my capacity to become better, more godly, even though she's seen years of my bad behavior. That's a priceless gift. Thanks, Diana. So it's with great sadness that I mourn the loss of her mind. Yep, she's gone crazy, as evidenced by the picture below.

She went shopping in Manhattan during the Christmas season for little Seth. Yep, folks, she's certifiable. =) And she bought him way too much. I promise, I won't post all my baby gifts on this blog. But she has her own blog, and I thought she'd get a kick out of this picture, so here it is. I love them all, but my favorite item is the cool diaper bag. I'd been looking all over for the perfect one. All I had to do was give her my diaper bag specifics, and voila, she found the perfect thing. I'm not surprised. She knows what I like. Aren't we glad it's not Amy Grant, side ponytails, and balloon barrettes anymore? =) I love you, Diana. Thanks for sharing this new adventure with me.

A great loss...

I posted a couple of months ago about Cheryl Stolldorf, my sister-in-law, Terri's mother. She went into the hospital with bad headaches, and they discovered a mass of swollen capillaries in her brain. They drained them, and she went home. We were all so thrilled, and it looked like everything would be just fine. This Tuesday, she went back into the hospital with the same kind of headaches. This time, the doctors found that the capillaries had grown and had burst. Throughout the day, she became more unresponsive, and by Tuesday night, she was gone. I know there are a lot of Christians that read this blog, and I know that you are prayer warriors. Please pray for the Stolldorf family. Cheryl hadn't even reached the age of 50. She was an active, selfless, Christian woman with tons of energy and heart. I didn't know her as well as I would've liked, but I know enough to know that she was a stellar example of godly womanhood to many, me included. There was no indication that she would leave her family so suddenly at such a young age. Her husband, Dan, and her children, AJ, Allie, and Terri have a lot of shock and grief to bear. Please lift them up to the Father in the next few days. Her funeral will be Monday, and we will be going to NC for it. Please pray that we would say and do only what would be helpful to all of them during this time.

Many, many moves ago...

This is my first time writing for Blogs of Beauty, and I have no idea who God will send this direction. But this Blogs of Beauty post on the Beauty of Reaching Out tugged at me, so I thought I'd give it a try.

See, I know a lot about reaching out. In the 5 1/2 years that my husband and I have been married, we have moved 4 times. We're not in the military, but my husband's graduation from law school and his clerkship options necessitated all this. These moves were not just moves down the street and around the corner. Each time, we had to pick up our life and move it states away, and we had to start over again with a new church, new jobs, and a new set of friends.

Many, many moves ago, I was a girl who'd grown up on the same patch of land that her daddy grew up on. I didn't have to reach out much because I had a network of friends and family that I'd built over my young lifetime. That time is over, and I have learned a lot about the hard, complicated, but rewarding work of reaching out. When I have gotten a little bit comfortable in a new place, and I meet someone who's just moved into the area, I look at them completely differently than I did before my odyssey began. Before, I simply wasn't aware of all the relational needs that they had as they timidly stepped out into a brave, new world. I am much more compassionate now.

This has been a great thing for my spiritual growth, even though it's been a somewhat difficult lesson to learn. Reaching out can be beautiful, but it isn't always easy. Reaching out requires vast reserves of patience and stubborness and the ability to handle subtle rejection and failure. Reaching out requires that the one reaching out to others be able to develop a thick skin, despite the fact that loneliness and uncertainty have made her skin thinner than it normally would be.

Reaching out is not for the faint of heart, but it's worth it. The alternative, at least for those of us who've moved and have no choice, is to become a sad, little island, un-nourished by others and useless to the local body of Christ. In order to serve, we need to invest in other lives, and the first step to doing that is to put yourself out there. Putting yourself out there may involve many things, but the first thing it could involve might be introducing yourself to someone and making the effort to converse after church when you feel like you'd rather just walk out to the door and go to lunch. It might mean inviting a couple over for dinner, knowing that they might not reciprocate your invitation.

I enjoy cooking, and David and I enjoy having people over, so one of the things that we have learned to do is invite others over for dinner regularly. It doesn't have to be anything fancy that we're serving, and it often isn't. The house doesn't have to be spotless. It's not. The point is just to make the effort to get to know others better by having them in our home. We have done this for several years now, and we're getting better and better at inviting and making people comfortable. At one point, we were feeling like it was difficult to get to know people in our church, so we decided to have two nights a week, if we could, when we invited over different people. They were all ages, though most were older than us in this particular church. Even for a chef wannabe like me, this was ambitious. We gave it up after a couple of months out of exhaustion, but we did do it, and it was good.

I learned many things from this and from all our years of inviting over, and I pass this on to you, the person who may have just moved or may be moving.

You may invite over 3 times as many people as reciprocate your invitations in some way.

If you are reaching out, expecting that others will put in as much work as you have to reach back to you, you may be disappointed. There are a variety of reasons for this. Maybe they just didn't click with you (you could be hopeless dorks like me and David =), or, more likely, their lives are already so full of family and friends that they simply don't have a friendship opening there for you at the time. Maybe they don't like to cook, and they don't want to serve you pizza at their house, even though you'd be happy to eat it.

Don't be discouraged, and don't give up. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep going, friend. It may take time, and you may feel like you'll never gain the comfortable relationships that you had in your old neighborhood or church, but eventually, it will get better.

The mountain of invitations that you've put out there will eventually lead you to a gem of a friend, the diamond in the rough that is worth all the effort to find that person who is looking for a friend just like you.

And even if years go by, and that illusive friend hasn't yet been found, remember that reaching out isn't all about you anyway. It's about Christ and his instructions that we do not forsake assembling together. The Christian life was meant to be lived in community, and if we're not doing that, we're missing out on being a blessing to others.

I've seen how God has put me in the right place at the right time over and over again to help someone else, and I can look back and see all the steps that I had to take to get there, steps that sometimes didn't seem worth it. I would've rather gone home and watched tv that night, but now I'm glad I didn't. =) If my life is ultimately not supposed to be about me and my needs and wants, (and it's not, if I'm reading my Bible correctly), then reaching out is just another thing that I do because I want to glorify my Savior. And when I do it with that in mind, then my reaching out is always a beautiful thing. ***P.S., if you want to read more on this topic from my perspective, check out my Sept. 22, 2006 blog called "The meet and greet." Happy blog hopping!

Childbirth express...

Yesterday, David and I spent the day in class. Childbirth class, that is. Our hospital system has a program where you can get all the childbirth info you could possibly need (ha!) in one day. So we spent 9:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m. sitting in uncomfortable chairs with 11 other couples, listening and gaping and squirming at the info we were getting from a very nice nurse. I had already gotten some of this info from various sources, but I still had a lot to learn. David, however, was fully initiated into the complicated process of childbirth by this class. He still looks startled. (Just kidding.) We covered how to know when you've gone into labor (hmmm, still not completely sure it's as easy as she made it sound), various forms of pain relief, breathing techniques to help with early labor (wondering if those do any good), complications in delivery, c-sections, and newborn and mommy care. She passed around a wide variety of scary little instruments, including big, gleaming, steel forceps and the evil looking crochet hook they use to break water. I found out that I will be oozing a wide variety of liquids from various parts of my body for weeks after birth. It was edifying, to say the least. The thing that seems most useful to me at the moment is her advice to bring your own pillows because hospital pillows stink. =) The rest of it is stuff I really can't do much about. Overall, it feels good to be informed, but I feel like the process is still largely out of my control, especially if I have a complication. Which leads me to this morning's sermon. Our head pastor spoke about Hezekiah this morning. He talked about the ups and downs of Hezekiah's faith and trust in God. Hezekiah was a good, godly king who made some mistakes in trusting, like all of us. When he needed a miracle, He trusted God for one. He asked God to heal him, and God added 15 more years to his life. But then he stopped trusting God after He'd had his miracle until he needed another one when the Assyrians were banging on Jerusalem's gates. In the in between time, he entertained envoys from Babylon, and he showed them all the treasures and fortifications of His kingdom. He was showing off, showing them how he'd prepared for the safety of his own city. He was reveling in his self reliance, and this would eventually lead to the destruction of Judah and the Babylonian exile. Isaiah told him that the Babylonians would come back for all the loot they had seen, but he wasn't repentant because he knew it wouldn't happen during his lifetime. Not a shining moment for this king. But once again, when Hezekiah couldn't do anything to help himself, he did turn to God again when Jerusalem was under Assyrian seige, and he asked for and received another miracle. The point that our pastor was trying to draw from all this was to ask how we respond after God has granted us a miracle. Are we only good at relying on God when we need one of those? Do we only grasp for God when we know we're in a crunch time and there isn't anything we can do? Do we fall back on our own resources when things don't seem so dire? What are the consequences of that? This got me thinking about the miracle I have recieved. I have a miracle growing in my body. I didn't put him there, and I can't do much to make sure that my little boy gets out alive and healthy. I have been sitting back and enjoying the time since he was conceived, doing what I can to have a healthy pregnancy. I've been given a healthy pregnancy, and things have been calm. But this period of calmness after a miracle may be making me too self reliant. I've begun to think that I can control the outcome of this pregnancy. I've begun to think that I can manipulate medical technology to make sure he comes out happy and healthy. The combination of the childbirth class and this morning's sermon have made me realize that there isn't anything about this process that I can really control. Ultimately, I will probably have very little say over how this all goes. And I should stop worrying and weighing options and ask God to provide the perfect delivery for me. I need to leave it in his hands and stop trying to think about micromanaging the process. I could; doctors will let you have what you want quite often if you beg enough. But is that a good idea? I'm tempted to do it, but I know that that is because of my fears and not because of a healthy desire to be an informed patient. And I can't let my fearful desire for self reliance take over. I have to trust, put myself in His hands, and ask the Lord for the next miracle.

Making a gingerbread house...

Here we are, hard at work!

The finished product! The girl gingerbread person looks a little scary, but the boy came out alright. =)

This Friday night, I planned a little surprise for David. I bought our first gingerbread house kit! I got this idea from Carrie from small group, and it worked out great! I'd never tried one before, and I thought you had to bake the gingerbread yourself. Au contraire! There was no baking involved. You just used the premade gingerbread and premade icing and stuck all the candy they provided all over it. It turned out really well considering that we'd never tried this before. It was a nice December date night activity, and I highly recommend it to all.

Celebrating Advent...

A view of my Advent wreath from the top! I"ll use this later to explain how to make one.

It turned out pretty well!

This year, we're celebrating Advent. I didn't grow up celebrating Advent, or any other type of Christmasy tradition, so I've been learning a lot this year. David celebrated when he was a child, so this was something he'd been missing since we've been married.
For those of you who don't know (like me) or need a refresher, The Advent Wreath has five candles, three are purple, one is pink (or rose), and one is white. The four non-white candles are placed in a wreath of evergreens or an ornamented wreath. One candle is lit each Sunday in Advent, (this year, that Sunday is December 3) with the pink candle being lit on the third Sunday (Gaudette Sunday) in Advent. When the candles from the previous weeks are relit, it's symbolic of the arrival of Christ bringing light into darkness. The traditional color of the purple came from when the tone for Advent was penance, just like Lent. The Prophecy Candle is the first candle lit. It reminds us of the prophets who foretold Christ's birth, especially Isaiah. This candle is also called the "hope" candle. The Bethlehem Candle, symbolic of the Christ Child's cradle, is second. This candle is also called the "love" candle. The Shepherd's Candle is third. This pink or rose-colored candle typifies the act of sharing Christ. Pink symbolizes the Advent Rose, a time to pause in this season to Rejoice in the Lord. This candle is lit on Gaudette Sunday. Gaudette means "rejoice". This candle is also called the "joy" candle. The Angel's Candle is the fourth one. It is the candle of love and final coming. This candle is also called the "peace" candle. The Christ candle, colored white and sometimes larger than the rest, is placed in the center of the wreath. It's traditionally lit on Christmas Eve.

When I started looking for an Advent wreath for us, I found out pretty early that they can be expensive. So I made my own, using a tutorial from a blog that's now shut down, so I can't link to it. I started out with a plain wreath from Michael's. It was about $2.00 on sale. I put it on top of a flat mirror, also from Michael's, also about $2.00. You could also set your wreath on a pretty platter or glass plate that you already have. Just make sure that the wreath is the right size to go over the plate. I decided that I wanted to use tall tapered candles in my wreath, so I bought 5 glass candleholders for $1 a piece at Ikea. If you wanted to use smaller candles, you could just get some cheap votive holders at Walmart. Again, you may have candlesticks on hand that you could use. I didn't; ours are in storage, so I bought some.

To decorate my wreath, I asked my parents for some pine cones from the yard at home. I also bought a berry "pick" at Michaels for $1. I cut up the berries and interspersed them in my wreath, and I used some floral picks from Michael's to secure the pine cones. You can find those in the flower arranging section, and I think they were $2 for 20 or so in a package. You can decorate your wreath any way that you want with any materials that float your boat. You can find purple and pink tapered candles at Michael's; I tried Walmart, but they didn't have any. I think they were $1 a piece, too. So, let's add it up.
I spent $12 total on my wreath, not including the $5 for candles that I'll have to replace year after year. Not too shabby! If you already have a nice plate or candlesticks that you can use, that would cut your cost a little more.

It has been a struggle for me to figure out how to honor Christ in the Christmas season. My home church growing up (no, it was not Jehovah's Witness) didn't celebrate Christmas, and my family didn't either. The reasoning was that Jesus was not born on Dec. 25. Dec. 25 was actually the time of the Roman Winter Solstice. The ancient Romans would give presents and decorate evergreen trees to celebrate this festival. When the Emperor Constantine became a Christian, he decided that he would turn this festival into a celebration of Christ's birth, in effect, attempting to "Christianize" it.
It's been thousands of years since then, and I'm not sure how well he succeeded. I've walked through 6 aisles of Christmas decorations at Hobby Lobby before finally finding the small 1/3 of an aisle devoted to manger scenes. I've seen plenty of posts and comments from other bloggers who are trying to figure out how to glorify Christ in the middle of what is often an American commercial holiday devoid of Christian meaning.

So it's been tough for me. I married a Christian, who, like most, celebrated Christmas growing up. He had the tree and the tinsel and the presents and the whole 9 yards, and he has missed it during the time since we've been married. I haven't felt comfortable with any of that, and he's been gracious enough not to ask me to provide those things for him. I appreciate his sensitivity.

At the same time, I have slowly changed in my attitude toward Christmas. I have realized that it's a good thing to be thankful and to celebrate Christ's birth whenever and wherever I think about it. Christmas is as good a time as any to do that, and it's better in some ways because there are plenty of concerts and other events that glorify Christ and celebrate His coming. There are lots of easy reminders within Christian culture that focus solely on Christ at this time of year, and I don't want to opt out of those good things just because there is a lot of non-Christ honoring stuff out there.

So I've been slowly trying to figure out what would be a help to our family in honoring Christ at this time of year and what would be a hindrance to me, especially given my background. Giving gifts at Christmas is not something that I'm comfortable with because of how commercialized our Christmas culture is, and I have a hard time imagining a Christmas tree in our house. But manger scenes and Advent wreaths seem to serve a purpose in honoring Christ and focusing on Him and Him alone at this time of year, so I'm exploring integrating them into our home and family.

I am not saying that those of you out there who have a tree and presents and all the glitz and glitter of Christmas are bad. I know this could be a controversial topic for many. All I'm saying is that, for me, all of that is a distraction from Christ's birth. Christ's birth and cultural Christmas are very separated in my mind, and I know that that's not typical for most people. I also, think, though, that I have a unique perspective that is helpful at this time of year. I don't worry so much about doing the traditional Christmas things that stress out many people because I've never done them. Since we didn't have Christmas, I'm not tempted to spend lots of time and money on things that aren't part of celebrating Christ's birth. I am starting from a clean slate with Christmas, and I like that. The emotional pulls of nonessentials aren't there as much for me, so I feel some freedom in how to build in appropriate and Christ honoring traditions into the holiday.

I like where I am in all this (some days), and I am joyful about celebrating Christmas this year in a whole new way. I've never had Advent before, so I feel like I'm approaching it as a child, with that kind of childlike wonder. It won't always be this new and fresh to me, so I'm relishing that. Come, Lord Jesus, come into my new celebrating of Christmas. Show me how to glorify you and take joy in your journey to us as a lowly Babe. I just want to honor you.

The whirlwind that was Thanksgiving 2006...

David and I, Thanksgiving 2006, and baby Seth at 31 weeks.

Mom and Dad with cousin Ian. He's explaining something to her, and Dad is fiddling with the oldies channel on Aunt Judy's cable. He loved listening to his old favorites. =)

Cousin Kim and Aunt Judy cleaning up in her home. We stayed at her new townhouse, and she hosted this year. I love her townhouse; it's cozy and has a nice layout.

A slightly out of focus picture of David and cousin Keith cleaning up after Thanksgiving dinner. We've got some tall men in the family, can you tell?

The bridal party. There's Tim and his lovely bride, Lauren. Isn't she beautiful? We're so happy for them.

David, Tim's younger sister, Betsy, and another groomsman, Rob. Isn't David handsome in a tux?

We're still catching our breath around here from Thanksgiving! We've never been quite so busy at a holiday. It was completely nutty. We went to BWI to pick up David's mom and dad on Thanksgiving morning, and we drove from there straight to Richmond to have Thanksgiving dinner with Keith, Kim, Ian, and Aunt Judy. David's Aunt Judy (Dad's sister), is a fixture at all family events, and whenever we can get together with David's first cousin and his family, we definitely do. They came from Harrisonburg for the holiday. So we fought traffic to Richmond and got there in time for naps and then a big dinner. Ukrops and Aunt Judy know how to cook! I'm glad she got some help feeding all of us. Keith only brought 4 pumpkin pies, and they were great. I have to get his recipe. Plenty of cards were played, as is true at any of David's family gatherings. On Friday, David and I headed out to Newport News after lunch to pick up his tux for Tim Mattson's wedding. Diana, Bill, and Judy followed later to check into their condo that they'd gotten for the weekend in Williamsburg. We all met up again at the rehearsal dinner that night, and then it was late to bed for everybody, especially David. We forgot to tell him which bedroom I was in, so when he came in at 2:00 a.m. from the bachelor party, I heard the door open, and a tentative, "Honey?" He got it right the first time. The next day, we had to be at the church around lunchtime, and then it was straight from wedding to reception. Diana and Bill left before we did, since David needed to stay and attend to essential groomsman duties like decorating the car. It had "Need instructions...Virgins on board" on one side. Not sure who's idea that was. The next morning, Aunt Judy was scheduled to speak on missions at a church in Richmond, and Bill and Diana went with her back to Richmond early. David and I went to church at his old church in Newport News. I was able to see the place where he went to youth group in high school, and he took me by their old house and school in Poquoson. Then we fought traffic back to DC. It was a long day, and we got back pretty late in the evening. We did enjoy the time in the car talking, though. Bill, Diana, and Judy went from Richmond to our apartment, and they got here a little before we did. The next morning, the crew went to oral arguments at the Supreme Court, and I stayed home and packed them a lunch for when they came back. Bill and Diana ate in the car on the way back to the airport. Whew! With all the wedding stuff, we didn't get a lot of time with relatives this year. It wasn't a traditional Thanksgiving, that's for sure. But it was good in it's own way. We wouldn't have missed being in Tim's wedding for the world. We are so excited about his marriage to Lauren because we know that they will build a strong family based on Christ, and that's thrilling to imagine. It was a joy to celebrate with them. And this year, God probably knew that I didn't need a normal Thanksgiving. It was harder on me to do the traditional Thanksgiving things than I'd expected it to be. I struggled some with fear because I lost our little one at this time last year. Being away from a family home setting and the normal hanging out was probably better for me. It was a nice distraction to be at the wedding and answering questions from friends about the baby. It made this pregnancy seem more real and safe. Overall, it was nuts, but it was a great Thanksgiving. I won't soon forget it. We have been blessed.

Pecan pie and pregnancy =)

I've got my very first pecan pie ever in the oven. It was amazingly easy. The thing I love about Thanksgiving pies is how easy they are. What other holiday has pies that you basically just dump and stir without having to chop or dice or anything like that? I love pumpkin pie more than pecan, but David doesn't think it's Thanksgiving without pecan pie, so there ya have it. It smells wonderful. It's a gross, cold, windy, rainy day outside, and I'm glad I'm inside, doing a mountain of laundry in my pj's and baking pie. I had my 31 week doctor's appointment this morning, so I had to get out in the mess then. I'm going to a really nice practice in Fair Oaks, about 35 minutes from here. So far, I'm looking like a model pregnant person. All of my numbers are "right on the button," according to the doctor today. My glucose reading is smack dab in the middle of normal, I'm measuring dead on for how big I'm supposed to be right now, etc. Seth is being very cooperative at letting them hear his heartbeat, and his little heart is pumping away at the rate it should. I've gained 22 lb. total since they first weighed me at 12 weeks. I'm loving that, and I'm well aware that it's my genetics talking and not because I've been such a fantastically healthy eater. =) It's so nice to be so normal! And I don't really have that far to go anymore. It's really stunning to think about that. I could have this baby in less than 2 months, and it feels like it's going to fly by. We'll be so busy with the holidays and everything associated with them. I can't think about delivery too much right now or I might start panicking. I want to be a mom, but I'm also a little scared about all the daunting responsibilities that come with that. I still feel too good, I guess, so I'm willing for this pregnancy to keep going a while longer and let him get nice and well cooked. =) Tomorrow, we're picking up David's parents at the airport in Baltimore and driving to Richmond to have Thanksgiving with David's Aunt Judy and cousins Keith, Kim, and Ian. It's going to be a nutty weekend, since we have a wedding for a good friend this Saturday in Williamsburg. David is in the wedding party, and I'm tagging along. Tell ya all about it when I get back. Happy Thanksgiving, all!

Giving thanks this year...

I adore Thanksgiving. It is my absolute favorite holiday. I love the pumpkin pie, the turkey, the fall decorations, the colors, the incredible smells. You name it; I love it. My family had an atypical view about Christmas, and I'll share that later for any that are interested, so that meant that Thanksgiving was the main holiday for me. I love the whole purpose behind it. It seems to me that Americans, and the middle class of the 21st century in general, don't take much time to be thankful for anything. We're a very consumer driven society, and I am certainly not exempt. I'm just as big a part of the free market economic system as anyone else, and that means it's all about service, specifically others serving me. I get cranky if my internet provider doesn't have me online in seconds, I expect that my fast food comes in less than 5 minutes, etc. I expect a lot, and I don't stop to think very often that I'm taking hundreds of small gifts for granted every single day. Especially in today's world, the need for a day of Thanksgiving is a dire need. We desperately need to slow down and thank God and others for the bounty that we enjoy. It might just keep us from being quite so whiny and impatient. Hmm, maybe we should have a day of Thanksgiving every week, not just once a year. =) So in the spirit of all that, I thought I'd make a list of some of the things, big and little, that I'm thankful for this year.

-Salvation- thank you, Jesus, for giving me eternal life
-My amazing husband, my best friend, and our ability to laugh and share together every day.
-My little boy- ok, I've got to go into detail about this one. I am so incredibly thankful for my son. Whenever I think about the miracle of his little life, I am overwhelmed with gratefulness to God for giving me something I never thought I would have. I am so thankful for my miracle pregnancy. This is my most precious gift this Thanksgiving. We have walked through such darkness in the past three years, and I praise God that that time seems to be over. Father, what a blessing you have given me! I am grateful beyond words.
-A loving, supportive extended family that I enjoy spending time with when we can.
- A new home with new friends and a new church family
-Feeling pretty settled into all that unbelievably quickly- hey, that's a big deal for me!
- A once in a lifetime job for David that he really enjoys.
-My cozy, tiny apartment in the sky- I really love all 705 sq. feet of it!
- My incredibly comfortable bed, courtesy of Mamie.
- Hot tea and a warm blanket on a cold day.
- Chocolate in all it's wonderful forms.
- Dr. Pepper! The nectar of the gods. =)
- Books, glorious books! Reading a good, new book is like meeting a new friend.
- Making things with my hands. Seth is getting a crocheted afghan that Mommy prayed over as she made it.
- The joy of cooking comfort food for family and friends.
- Bubble baths- oh, how I miss them. =)
- Playing spades.
- Connecting with a good friend on a deeper level over coffee. Thanks, Catherine, for giving me that lately.
- Old friends who come to visit. Thanks, Sarah. And you apply for the above thanks as well. =)
- New things to enjoy- Messiah at the Washington National Cathedral, Max's Best Ice Cream, La Madeleine, Trader Joe's, Noodles and Company, etc.
- A fresh insight into God's word.

I could go on and on, but you get the picture. I'm grateful. God has blessed us with so much, and I want to remember that this Thanksgiving. We have more than we could ever ask or imagine. Jesus, thank you.

Thanksgiving Proclamation...

I saw this posted online at another blog, and I loved it, so I thought I'd share it here. This is George Washington's Thanksgiving proclamation, issued the first year he was president. Even though there had been Thanksgiving celebrations in America before then, this was the first mention or endorsement of it by the national government. I thought the wording was an inspiring testimony to this founding father in the goodness and all powerful providence of our Creator. Can you imagine a modern president getting away with a public proclamation like this? I can't. Here it is:

WHEREAS it is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey His will, to be grateful for His benefits, and humbly to implore His protection and favour; and Whereas both Houses of Congress have, by their joint committee, requested me "to recommend to the people of the United States a DAY OF PUBLICK THANSGIVING and PRAYER, to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favors of Almighty God, especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness:"

NOW THEREFORE, I do recommend and assign THURSDAY, the TWENTY-SIXTH DAY of NOVEMBER next, to be devoted by the people of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being who is the beneficent author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be; that we may then all unite in rendering unto Him our sincere and humble thanks for His kind care and protection of the people of this country previous to their becoming a nation; for the signal and manifold mercies and the favorable interpositions of His providence in the course and conclusion of the late war; for the great degree of tranquility, union, and plenty which we have since enjoyed;-- for the peaceable and rational manner in which we have been enable to establish Constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national one now lately instituted;-- for the civil and religious liberty with which we are blessed, and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge;-- and, in general, for all the great and various favours which He has been pleased to confer upon us.

And also, that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations and beseech Him to pardon our national and other transgressions;-- to enable us all, whether in publick or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually; to render our National Government a blessing to all the people by constantly being a Government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed; to protect and guide all sovereigns and nations (especially such as have shewn kindness unto us); and to bless them with good governments, peace, and concord; to promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the increase of science among them and us; and, generally to grant unto all mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as he alone knows to be best.

GIVEN under my hand, at the city of New-York, the third day of October, in the year of our Lord, one thousand seven hundred and eighty-nine.
(signed) G. Washington

We're naming him...

Good morning, all. I woke up this morning with a wiggly baby in my tummy. His favorite times to do baby gymnastics are at night and in the morning. These days, he gets the hiccups, and they make me smile. When I felt him waking up this morning, I thought about our ultrasound more than 10 weeks ago. It's the only one we'll get, unless I develop some sort of complication. I have a really vivid visual memory, so I remember the rooms and the screen and what we all looked like. It's kind of fun to visualize it all again. I remember my shock at finding out I was having a little boy. Now I'm totally used to the idea, so used to the idea, that we've had a name for him for weeks now. At first, I wasn't sure if we'd keep it. You're afraid to be too sure about these things sometimes. I thought, "This is really important. I should at least be willing to think about it and reconsider." So I did, and David did, but nothing better showed itself. It's an awesome and weird responsibility to name another human being. You're going to be giving them the handle they'll be called by for the rest of their lives, and depending on how well you do it, they could be in for years of embarrassed smiles. My prime example of this is Gov. Hogg who named his girls Ima and Ura. 'Nuf said. We'd had a girl name picked out for ages, but when we found out this baby is a boy, we had nothing on the drawing board for him. It was then that I found out that the criteria for boy names is quite different than the criteria for girl names, at least in the eyes of my husband. Apparently, he believed that the best, perhaps the only, names for boys were biblical names. I was stunned. I guess I shouldn't have been, since he likes his own biblical name. I didn't want something really frequently used, but I also didn't want something really different. The Bible offers some unique naming challenges here. I didn't want to have to choose between Matthew and Melchisidek. =) Well, he decided he was willing to compromise, and so did I. We hunted through name books and wrote down a list of names we were both willing to consider. But the name we ultimately came up with didn't come from the books. We have a friend with this name, and it fit both of our requirements. So, he shall be called...Seth David. We both wanted his name to mean something good, and Seth means "appointed." We wanted a name that would wear well in all circumstances, and with a name like Seth, you can either be a corporate litigator or a rock star. I didn't want anything you could nickname. It's a Biblical name to boot! Eve's third son was named Seth, and Jesus comes from his line. And a friend read me a blurb from a baby name book that made the name more meaningful for me. Eve had Seth after she'd lost Abel. In the 18th and 19th centuries, many couples would name a baby Seth if they had it after they'd lost a child. This doesn't feel morbid to me; it's a subtle reminder to me of the baby we lost last year at this time. He won't be forgotten. The middle name was a no brainer for me. I wanted to name my son after the man I hope he will always emulate. I want him to grow up to be a man like my husband, a strong man who follows the Lord and lives for Him in what he says and does. There is no man that I respect more than my David, and I want to honor him by giving our son his name. I'm glad he let me do it. So there ya have it, folks. Some may like it, some may hate it. That's inevitable. But for good or ill, this child has already been marked for life. Now, only a couple of months to go before I can give him the full name treatment when he gives me a stinky diaper! =)

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cake...

My mom and her friend, Denise, are visiting us this weekend. My mom is a tireless tourist. Our family vacations were always educational, and she could wear out the entire family with multiple historic sites in one day. We'd be panting and ready to hit the hotel pool, and she'd want to see another Indian burial mound. I knew what I'd be in for, so I sent the two of them off with a marked Metro map earlier today. I haven't heard from them; we'll see if they ever make it back. =) At this point, my pregnancy weight gain has been putting some pressure on a plantar wart I've had on my foot forever with no problems 'til now, so I'm not enjoying doing tons of touring. I've been happily reading and preparing a nice meal for them for when they come in. The "I've got to cook for you" excuse was a nice one today. I've got a roast in the crockpot, the rolls are coming off the dough cycle, and I just popped a cake in the oven. I've had some requests for this recipe, and it's a super easy fall one, so I thought I'd share it while I have the card out. Here goes:

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cake

1 pkg. (18.25 oz.) plain yellow cake mix (Duncan Hines or another brand without pudding in the mix)
1 (15 oz.) can pumpkin
1/4 c. water
2 large eggs
2 t. pumpkin pie spice
2 t. baking soda
1 c. semisweet chocolate chips
1 c. finely chopped pecans

Preheat oven to 350, and spray a 12 c. Bundt pan with cooking oil. Dump all ingredients except chocolate chips and pecans in a large bowl and beat until well combined. Add chips and nuts and beat slowly to combine. Pour in Bundt pan and bake for about 42-46 minutes, until a knife comes out clean. Easy peasy! Enjoy!

The tinkle of crystal...

Last night, David and I attended a black tie dinner put on by a conservative lawyer's organization. It was their national convention, and this dinner was the gala event to kick it off. Supreme Court clerks got to go for free, and who am I to pass up a free steak dinner? =) So we went. I put on my maternity finery for the second time, feeling like I got my money's worth out of it at least, and David changed into his tux at work. I met him at the Gallery Place-Chinatown Metro stop so we could ride over to the hotel together. It was funny to be standing by myself in the Metro at rush hour, a pregnant woman in formal wear. I got a lot of looks, but I think it all became clear to everyone when I met up with a man in a tuxedo and patent leather shoes. I think an older woman behind us got a kick out of it when we met up and exchanged kisses, and I got a belly pat from David. It felt like one of those unique, fleeting moments that you don't share every day. So we rode over together and joined the crowd at the cocktail hour. Most places, if black tie optional is on the invitation, I think that 90% of the men there will be wearing a suit and tie. That's not the way of things in DC. It was a Thursday night, and 95% of the men were wearing tuxes, and just about every woman I saw had on an evening gown or nice cocktail dress. The ballroom was impressive. There were 1,400 people there sitting at 140 tables. There were beautiful rose centerpieces, candles, a complicated and beautiful place setting, and a 5 course dinner, including palate cleansing sherbet between courses. It was a dazzling sight to this girl from small town NC. And we knew so many people there! It was surprising. There were friends from law school days, friends from Birmingham, friends from when David clerked on the DC circuit. We had thought we'd only know the other clerks and their spouses, but we were wrong. The world suddenly seemed a lot smaller. The speakers poked fun at themselves and the organization with the kind of dry, intelligent wit that seems to be a trademark of legal beagles in the Beltway. A couple of Supreme Court justices were honored. As we sat there and listened, I realized once again what a rarefied world this is that I'm moving in at the moment. I am not used to formalwear and crystal. I'm much more of a jeans and funky t-shirt gal. I love people to feel comfortable in my home, and to me, that means homemade soup, cornbread, and board games. I am moving outside of my comfort zone, learning a different language and a different way of relating. I'm learning to be a different me, just as sincere hopefully, just as Christlike, but more able to converse with a wider variety of people of a wider variety of backgrounds. I wonder how God wants to use these new skills in my life. I wonder what all the crystal and candlelight is about. I wonder what He wants me to learn from these experiences. It certainly isn't that He wants me to get used to opulence, and I certainly don't want to get spoiled with free filet mignon. Maybe it's to learn how to be His light and His fragrance in places I wouldn't have expected? We often think of how important it is to be His light in third world countries or to our next door neighbors. But how often do we think about how much His fragrance is needed in fancier settings? I know I haven't thought much about it, but I'm in them now temporarily, so perhaps I should. Hmmm. Wherever I go, whether it's wearing blue jeans or black silk, I want to learn to spread His light.

Lainey Madison...

I just got some adorable pictures from my friend, Paula. I couldn't figure out how to post them on my blog from the email, so if anybody has any ideas, please let me know. But anyway, I thought I'd at least do a birth announcement. Lainey Madison Morgan was born on Nov. 1 at 12:06 p.m. She weighed 7 lb., 2 oz. and was 19 inches long. I agree with Paula that she does look a lot like her big brother when he was born. And she has a full head of dark hair. She's beautiful, Paula. I can't wait to meet her in person. And I'm so thankful to God for another miracle for you. His bounty is so great to those of us who thought we'd never give birth to children. Give her a kiss for me.

Freezer meals, part 2

I've gotten a lot of traffic on my post about Let's Dish, so I thought I'd do a follow up. Realizing that they are a little more pricey than I'd like, I ordered a freezer cookbook from Amazon, and it came in the mail recently. I ordered a book called "Don't Panic- Dinner's in the Freezer: Great-Tasting Meals You Can Make Ahead" by Susie Martinez, Vanda Howell, and Bonnie Garcia. My method for picking this book basically had to do with reading reader reviews on Amazon.com of several freezer cookbooks. Many of the readers said this was their favorite, so I bought it used from a Amazon marketplace seller. I haven't had a chance to try any of them, yet, but I have gone through and put check marks by several that I'd like to try. Most of the recipes use what I like to call the "marinate and freeze method." You make up some sort of sauce, and you freeze meat in that. You may have to do some amount of cooking before you freeze as well. The recipes give you the regular portioned ingredients and servings, and then they give you the amounts to double or triple it beside that. It looks pretty easy. I'm personally looking forward to trying the orange glazed beef lettuce wraps, the beef chimichangas, and the chicken in raspberry sauce. I was hoping for a few more casserole style dishes, but that doesn't seem to be a hallmark of their freezer cooking, though they do have some that include flour tortilla wraps, including breakfast burritos. They also had a section of pastas and soups, so if you like those, they're there. I'll try some of these recipes after the Thanksgiving holiday and let you know how it goes. I'm also going to try to keep track of how much I spent on the meals to figure out how cheaply I managed to do it. And if you try your hand at freezer cooking, let me know how it goes!

Visiting with Amy and Clifton...

Our friends, Amy and Clifton, came to visit this past weekend. We wanted to make sure they got a chance to come up before the baby comes, and as time seems to be running out with all the holidays coming up, this was a good weekend. Amy and I have been friends since college. We did a Bible study together early in our friendship, and we were roommates during my junior year. I had far too many roommates, 5 in 4 years of college, and Amy was my favorite one. We got to spend the most time together, so that makes her the frontrunner between her and Amanda. (But I do love you, Amanda!) I always had somebody to go to the cafeteria with, even if the food was usually less than desirable. =) Amy and I had lots of good talks that year. She has always led me closer to Christ by her words and deeds. We were both figuring out guy relationships that year, and we were able to give each other godly counsel. That's a great gift. After we graduated from college, Amy and I still visited, though we went our separate ways. She moved from Greensboro to Raleigh after finishing her M.A. in Music at UNC-G. About that time, I got an email from an old friend, Clifton. We go way back; we've been friends through 4-H since high school, and we were 4-H state officers together in college. Anyway, he was looking for a date to a law school dance at Campbell, and Amy immediately came to my mind. The rest is history! They are perfect for each other, and I was so excited to be in their wedding. This is my one great match-making success, so I relish it thoroughly. Keeping up with both of them has gotten a little easier for me since they share one address now. =) It's inspiring to see all the ways that they serve the Lord together in their daily life. I know that they honor Him with their marriage. David and Clifton have definitely hit it off. They're both competitive lawyers, and I think they would've spent the whole weekend beating each other at Risk if we would've let them. They roomed together in Raleigh when David took the NC bar exam, since Clifton was taking it at the same time. David gives Clifton credit for passing, since he gave him the background knowledge to answer a particularly tough question when they were studying together the night before. This weekend was full of girl time for me and Amy and guy time for the boys, with a little couples time thrown in. Amy and I went to Ikea on a shopping spree, and she sampled the Swedish cuisine with me in the snack bar. They make great Swedish meatballs! =) We were a little sad to see them go on Sunday morning. Old friends are the best, aren't they?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KELLI!!!

Today is Kelli Bragdon's birthday! She's my sister-in-law, the wife of my husband's brother (keeping that straight? =) They have 3 adorable girls, and they're living the seminary life in Texas. I hope you're having a wonderful day, Kelli! Oh, and if you want to check out her blog, she's at www.bragdonclan.blogspot.com. Hugs and kisses to you and all!

The perfect Christian life

I was talking with a couple of friends of mine several weeks ago, and the conversation turned to Christianity and church and related topics, etc. These are old friends from law school that we've caught up with again since moving to this area, and it's been years since we've discussed Christianity with either of them. In the course of the conversation, one of my friends said something about like this: "I've only known a couple of people that I think really lead the Christian life." He then went on to name them and describe what he thought it was about them that made his assertion true. He didn't name me and David. And it stung a little, I must admit. I want to be the light of Christ to a watching world, and like all Christians, I hope that others will see my pathetic and feeble efforts and take notice, hopefully to see Christ and not just me. But now back to the conversation I was having. My friend's description of what made his friends people who truly lived the Christian life seemed to largely have to do with their generosity to others. They were the kind of people who would give others the shirts off their backs. He had good examples of their selfless kindness. These people put most of us more selfish Christians to shame, and that's a good thing. We should be thinking more about giving to others and less about meeting our own needs and wants. Christ commands us to show love to others as an expression of love to him. "...but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us."-1 John 4:12. There are a million verses like this one. There are a ton of reminders of the command to show fruit in our Christian lives. We are supposed to live as Jesus lived, and if we're not, we're going to be asked if we really believe if there isn't some smidgen of evidence in our lives to prove that Christ has transformed us. "Faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead."- James 2:17. As I was getting in my car later, mulling over what he'd said and my own selfishness and lack of witness, this thought hit me: Thank God that Christianity is not about how good I am. It's about how good God is. This does not excuse me from clear commands to live like Christ. But it does change the focus of things entirely. If others are looking at me and trying to decide based on my life whether or not to follow Christ, they're not going to do it. I may be able to live a pretty good life for awhile, but eventually, they're going to see my sin, and they won't want to emulate that. Thank God that they aren't supposed to be emulating me! And thank God that I don't have to constantly worry about that. For years, I did worry about it. I worried that my non-Christian father was looking at my sin and seeing nothing in Christianity to interest him. And since I lived with him every day, he saw a lot of sin in my life. As I grew in my faith, though, I began to put down that self imposed burden. Because it's not about me; it's all about Him. I am so thankful that Christianity is not a religion that insists that you have to rack up a certain number of goodness points before you can go to heaven. It isn't about keeping track of all the good deeds that you can tally up on your scoreboard. Good deeds in and of themselves are not going to get anyone to heaven. They're great, but they're not distinctively Christian. Anyone of any religion can pour out their life in service to others, feeding the poor, caring for the needy, giving away all their money. You don't have to be a Christian to live what others might call a "Christian life," depending on how they're defining it. All these good deads, though, will not get them into heaven, because that's not how we get there. What a relief that is! We get there only through faith in Jesus Christ, and that's great news for those of us who know that our good deeds tally is woefully off. We can't make ourselves righteous anyway, even by the number of saintly deeds done by Mother Theresa. "This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus...Where, then, is boasting? It is excluded."- Romans 3:22-24,27. See, even the most selfless person that ever lived has sinned against God. That person needs a savior as much as those of us less outwardly virtuous because God is completely holy (and would we want that any other way?), and He can't have any sin in his presence, so he sent the perfect, sinless sacrifice to wipe out the sins of all of us. Christ's sacrifice is how we get into the presence of God, that and that alone. And I'm so unspeakably thankful for that. That is what inspires me with the love of my Savior that makes me want to live like Him. That is what encourages me to let him pick me up when I'm sitting in the dust of my utter failure to do so. I can strive to walk in his ways, but I'm so glad that He alone carries me to God. So I'm glad for conversations like the one I had with my friend. They remind me of so many things, and they get me thinking about the One who died for me so that I wouldn't have to live a perfect Christian life.

Something new I'm excited about...

We had a nice weekend, low key, David doing a lot of working, but that was ok. On Saturday, I did something new and fun! I went with our friends Jenny and Sean to Let'sDish in Bethesda. If you've never heard of this place or concept, it's super cool. I love the idea. Basically, you go in to the store and they have everything set up for you to package up meals to freeze. You put on an apron and a head scarf (they're actually cute), and then you go to different meal prep stations where they have everything out and chopped for you. They have all the measuring spoons and directions and packaging there. You just follow the directions, and in 10 minutes, you have a homemade freezer meal in a bag. You slap a sticker with prep directions on that baby, initial it, and toss it in your freezer space, and you move on to the next one. And the best part is that they clean up behind you! Clean up is the thing I hate most about cooking. Jenny had signed up for an 8 meal package, but since each meal has 6 servings, she split up her meals into 16 meals total. They had easy directions for doing this on each station. I think they had about 12 meal choices, and the choices change every month. She just picked out her favorites, and we customized them to the Richardson family tastes. They're not big onion fans, so we added less onion than called for, etc. The options were definitely mouth watering. There was this moroccan tagine chicken with cous cous that looked delicious and some sort of chicken with cranberry chutney thing I would've liked to have tried. Now for the down side. I came home and told David about it, and he figured out that each meal for us would cost somewhere between $10-12. I know that the dinners I already make probably cost half of that because I'm already a little obsessive about making cheap, homemade meals. It was a disappointing discovery. But...when we have a new baby, and I'm exhausted, spending the money to do this might be a cost savings if I'm tempted to order take out or get fast food a lot. So what did Ellen do? Last night when I couldn't sleep for some reason (it's probably Baby's fault), I got online and found some cookbooks on Amazon that tell you how to do the same thing at home. It'll probably be a lot more work, but it might give me some new freezer recipe ideas to try, and I can keep better track of what I'm spending per meal and customize ingredients. I ordered one, and I'll let you know how it goes if I try it. But anyway, I enjoyed the feeling of satisfaction of seeing all those hours of meal prep in the kitchen melting away in a pile of plastic bags when I did this with Jenny. It was really satisfying, even if they weren't my meals. =) If you've been thinking about doing this, I recommend trying it. It's fun!

A rumbly in my tummy...

This morning I thought I'd tell you about my favorite thing about pregnancy. I'm far enough along now, 28 weeks, the beginning of my third trimester, that I think I finally have some experience with this pregnancy thing. I enjoy feeling my stomach tighten after I eat a bunch at this point because it's still neat and not too uncomfortable. I enjoy seeing my big tummy under my favorite apron in the mirror opposite our kitchen when I'm cooking. I like the way I look in maternity clothes, most of them anyway. There are some things I haven't enjoyed so much about pregnancy, like waking up to go to the bathroom all the time and backaches and having trouble getting comfy and getting my bras to fit (bra extenders are an amazing thing though). But those things have really not been bad, just mildly annoying at times. I really can't complain. With all the good and the mildly annoying, though, there is one thing I really love about being pregnant. I love to wake up every morning and feel him waking up with me. I wake up, and he gives me some nice kicks or rolls around, and I feel like he's telling me "Good morning, Mommy!" I smile, and I feel so at peace. I love it. It's the most amazing thing, and it's impossible to describe to David, really. He just wants the baby to come out so he can play with him. I, however, am happy for the baby to stay in a little longer at this point. I know that I'll miss having him so close to my heart. This is the closest that we'll ever be, him and me, and I want to savor all of it. One day soon, he will be outside of me in a big, wide world, and that big, wide world and the very big God that rules it will tug him away from me in all sorts of directions. That's as it should be; I know we can't keep our children with us forever. But for now, I want to appreciate the miracle of holding him this close. I love you, big boy, and I'm glad that God has given me this special time with you.