Cocky mommy...

Last night, as we got ready for bed, David and I were talking about what a wonderful baby we have. And then David said, "Of course, it doesn't have anything to do with us." And we laughed quietly. He is incredibly portable, and I know if he starts melting down that I've really pushed the limits of what he can handle. Guilt, guilt! He naps anywhere, and that includes his cradle, even during the day. I thought that would be a battle when I started it, but it wasn't. He goes to sleep easily at night, and after his middle of the night feedings. He loves his schedule. He smiles, and coos, and he loves to be held and to look at faces.

But...we know that this has very little to do with us. I've learned that when you have a great baby, it might be tempting to smile with pride and say, "Well, it's because of all those books that I read that he sleeps so well in his cradle, blah, blah..." Maybe they helped a little, but I've learned through looking at other parents, wonderful parents, that so much has to do with a baby's unique personality. Rachel had Collin, and he's a very happy toddler, but he was not a happy baby. Rachel, can I get a witness, here! =) Emma, on the other hand, is a wonderfully easygoing baby. Same parents, totally different experience. Dan and Kelli have three, and the first two were pretty standard issue babies, but that third, Olivia, was another story. She was colicky, and all their sleep tricks from the first two just bounced right off of her. I know Kelli can give me a witness there, too.

So, all that to say, that I need to remember every day that Seth's easygoing nature is pure grace from God. He knew that we would be in a one-bedroom apartment right now, so He was kind enough to give us a child who is perfectly content to sleep in his cradle in the tiny hallway. He knew that David would have to work some long, hard, nutty hours this spring, so he gave us a child that wouldn't fight us much at all on the sleep thing, thereby giving David just enough sleep to continue to be sane. Which reminds me, by the way, please pray for my husband. He's been getting up very early, coming home very late, and working almost all weekend for a couple of weeks now, and he'll be doing this for at least a couple more weeks. I know he's tired, even though he's not complaining, and he even still tries to help me out a little around here. Thank God that he gave me a baby that would require less so that I wouldn't have to rely on David so much right now. I am very grateful. God is so good, isn't he? He gives us just what we need, just at the right season in our lives. I am so thankful for the gentle and thoughtful way that He orchestrates things to provide for even the smallest needs that I have right now.

2 month checkup...

Here's my water baby taking his first bath in the big tub. We'd been bathing him in the sink until Sunday, and he definitely wasn't getting enough baths. Now that it's hot, and the all knowing apartment managers haven't seen fit to turn on the air yet, he'll be getting more baths to cleanse his poor, sweaty little body. Today, we had our two month checkup and all those nasty vaccines. He was a real trooper, and he's grown so much! He weighs almost 11 pounds now, 10 lb., 14 oz. He's may be a tall one like his daddy. He's grown two and a half inches since he was born, 22 1/2 total. It felt great to see how well he's doing. He's in the 25th percentile for height and weight, and that sounds perfect to me. David and I aren't big, and we weren't big babies. I think I've now found the only pediatrician I really like in this practice group on the third try. That's good, since I was running out of doctors. =) He was nice and complimentary and informative and didn't make me feel like a bad mommy for asking dumb questions. But anyway, it's so nice to know for sure that your baby is doing really well. I just wasn't sure how much he'd grown because I hadn't had him weighed since he was two weeks old. (Yes, I know, use a bathroom scale, but ours turned out to be hopelessly inaccurate. We got three different weights when we tried that.) I hoped that he was getting enough food, but I couldn't be sure. After it took him a little longer than it should've for him to gain back his birth weight, my confidence was a little rattled. And since I can't actually see how many ounces he's taking in... You mommies know how it goes, I guess. Well, tonight we're having sparking juice in the wine glasses to celebrate the growth of a happy, healthy baby. What a blessing he is.

Oooh, oooh, but the best news was that I can stop waking this child up to feed him at night! I have official permission from a medical professional to stop waking him up to eat at 5:00 a.m. Sleep, here I come! How I've missed you. What would more than 4 hours of sleep at one stretch look like? I can't remember. When I daydream now, I don't daydream about beach vacations or fancy steak dinners. I dream about simple things, like 1 hour naps with earplugs or an uninterrupted night's sleep. I hear I won't be getting one of those again until he's at least 3. Maybe if we get away for a weekend. Hmmm, what does that look like again? =)

In other news, Seth now has a new stroller. I think I've figured out why people have something like 12 different strollers. I thought it was dumb before, but I don't now. The stroller is the most essential piece of baby gear out there, and if you have the wrong one, the consequences can be serious. I made the mistake of getting a city baby the SUV travel system, complete with jumbo size wheels. They'd be great for off roading, but they're not great for navigating through my apartment complexes narrow doors or going into any small local stores. I finally got tired of beating the stroller against walls and hefting all 35 pounds of it in and out of my trunk. My stroller basket also has to double as a grocery cart for all of my perishable items from the store because of my unique high rise situation, and it wasn't big enough to do that well. So now I have what I should've gotten in the first place. It's a simple metal frame that you just snap your infant car carrier into called a Snap n' Go. I highly recommend it to anyone. The basket is huge, and you don't have to push past a big seat and tons of fabric to get to it. You can load it up and then just snap the baby in. The wheels are small, and the thing only weighs 14 lb. folded up. And it was pretty cheap. Today was my first day trying it out, and I'm pumped. This child is going to be getting out for walks a lot more now that Mommy isn't afraid that he'll see her yelling at the apartment doors. =)

Thank You Note Forgiveness Policy...

Here's the munchkin with David's mom. I loved his big eyes in this picture. He's two months old today! It's nearly impossible to believe that I was in the hospital having him two months ago. Where did the time go?

If you'd like a little idea of our daily schedule right now, here goes. We do have a schedule for him, and he hasn't resisted it a bit. We're taking our cues from a combination of Babywise and the Baby Whisperer. He eats at 8, 11, 2, 5, and 8 right now, with a little fudging in there, but not usually because he cries to eat early. He's perfectly happy to get his food at the appointed times, which I love, because it makes planning trips out a lot easier. He goes down for bed after the 8:00 feeding (swaddled, no passy, cries usually for less than 10 minutes), he wakes me once in the middle of the night around 2, and I wake him up to eat at 5, and then again at 8, thereby getting in the minimum 7 feedings he's supposed to be getting a day right now. If he wakes up a little early, say, half an hour, he comes to bed with me and is happy to doze off again with a passy. He's a wonderfully easygoing baby. I thought that two strong-willed, type A's would be doomed to a rambunctious, bullheaded child. Nope, not so far. God has been gracious to us newbies.

But the reason I write today, friends, is to attempt to inaugerate a little something I hope to call the Thank You Note Forgiveness Policy. You see, there are lots and lots of people that love me, love my husband, and love my baby boy. They have showered us with so many gifts that we just stand back and marvel at the kindness of others. I am grateful for each and every item that we have received for Seth and for all the love behind each one. I get excited when we get a slip under our door telling us we have a package because I know that Seth is getting a new goody. But, I knew I was running into an emotional problem when we got a card a couple of days ago in the mail from a lovely lady that we used to go to church with, and I saw the return address, and I had this thought: "Please don't let there be money in there. Please don't let there be money in there." She is so kind, and I was shocked at myself. I realized that this thought came completely from my dread of the growing list of thank you notes that I have to write. The list grows and grows, and my despair at ever getting through it increases. Before he came, I got out all the thank you notes from my showers, and I was proud of myself. Then he came, and my mom, seeing my despair, addressed a bunch of thank you note envelopes for me. And somehow, I ploughed through those. But at this point, I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed. I asked others if it would be possible for me to type my thank you notes and do mail merge to print out envelopes. I was told that this was not polite Southern etiquette and that Miss Manners would come and put me in jail if I so much as entertained the thought for a second time.

But I defy Miss Manners! I dare her to come and haul me off to her etiquette prison where you get 50 lashes for each improper use of "may" vs. "can." I defy her on the internet in front of all by what I am about to suggest. I am asking you, my gentle readers, for Thank You Note Forgiveness. If you have sent me a baby present for Seth, and if you haven't recieved a thank you note from me, I'm asking you to allow me to send you an email thank you note instead of something handwritten and carried by the U.S. Postal Service. If you are willing to do this, please send an email with the header, "Forget Miss Manners!," to ellenwit@hotmail.com. Thank you, and if you don't want to do this, please don't turn me in to M.M. I hear that in her jail, they take away your food if you use the wrong fork. =)

Hanging with the Federalists...

Whew, the whirlwind is over. We've been going non-stop since Wendy's wedding over a week and a half ago. I think we had one day when we didn't travel or didn't see family in there, and that was it. I'm exhausted, quite frankly, but also feeling a little weird and experiencing a little letdown from having so many people around. It's a little strange for it to be just Seth and me at home, alone, at the moment. Oh well, I know how this goes. I've seen it before. It'll feel more normal tomorrow.

But, during the whirlwind, I took the picture above. When David's parents came into town, he wanted them to meet his Justice, so that was arranged for this Tuesday. Seth got his picture taken with a couple of the Supremes that day, thanks to his mother, who has absolutely no shame. I'm looking forward to showing him his baby book one day and saying, "And this is you with Justice__....and this is you with Justice__, you spit up on him..., and here's you with the President." Ok, I'm kidding about the last one, but not about the others. =)

I digress. Anyway, on the same day, Tuesday, David was scheduled to meet with the UVA Federalist Society. They were coming up for oral arguments, and they were meeting with Justice Scalia afterwards. Another one of the clerks was in charge, but he got all the current clerks that went to UVA to help him out with clerk Q&A after the Justice spoke. I need to give you a little background about the Federalists. They're a conservative law school association, and David was an officer in the UVA chapter. I remember him writing letters to the Justices the summer after we were married, asking them if they'd meet with the Federalists for this exact same event. I actually joined the Federalists myself so I could go on that trip. I took a day off of work at the UVA Law bookstore to go. That year, we met with Justice Kennedy. I remember sitting in that room, feeling nervously like maybe my regulation conservative dark suit wasn't conservative enough, waiting for this important person to come in. And, more importantly for this post, I remember looking at Kennedy's clerk that spoke with us and thinking, "This guy is brilliant. He'd have to be to get this job. I wonder what his future looks like. Probably something really cool."

This Tuesday, I got to relive this past from a new perspective. This time, I sat in the back of the room, holding my sleeping baby, and I watched my husband field questions from a new group of Federalists. I saw from their questions that they were as in awe of him as I had been of the Kennedy clerk 6 years ago. And I thought, "Yeah, I know these guys standing up there. And I know that they're goofballs. But I also know that they're just as brilliant as I thought their predecessor was. And I'm so proud of the one of them who comes home to me at night."

You made it, David. God put you there, but you worked very hard to lay the foundation for this work of His. You weren't cool when you were younger, and life was hard in junior and senior high for you. You were lonely, but you turned to God, and you made doing your best in school your top priority. Your brother calls you a pit bull who grabbed on and never let go of something until you got it. In college, when you ran for Student Body President for the second time, we all cheered for the underdog, and you won. I think I may miss it sometimes, but at this point, I feel like you'll never be the underdog again. If you are, it'll be God's doing and not yours, and if that's His will, so be it. This is success in your chosen field, and I praise you for all that you've done to get where you are today. I love you.

Visiting with family...

Well, after the nutso weekend we had, I thought I'd add to the fun and take Seth to Pennsylvania. =) I know, I'm crazy, but Dan and Kelli and the girls were going to be up there for the week, and we haven't seen them in, oh, about a year and a half, since before they moved to Texas. It was easier for me to pack up my one that it would be for them to pack up their three, so off we went again. This trip, I went solo. Fortunately, it was only about 2 1/2 hours to the camp where they used to live and work. I only had to stop once to feed him right before we got there. It was so nice to see everyone again. The girls have gotten so big! While I was there, Dan and Kelli got everyone gussied up to take a family photo, so I had them let me take one with the little tyke before they went off to do that. I wish he'd look that happy for my photos!

Hmm, I'm not sure if Grandma would want a framed copy of this one or not, but I was amused. It is the first picture taken of all of her grandchildren. Nobody's missing. On the far left, we have Olivia, the baby of the family. Faithlyn, the oldest, is in the middle. And Elise is on the end. The little screamer in the middle seems like he's already thinking about how his older cousins will try to play dress up with him later on. =)

I love this shot. I call it "three beautiful girls getting ready for bed." Aren't they adorable? And they're as well behaved as they are cute. It's pretty awe inspiring.

This visit was a pretty big deal for me. It was the first time I've had to do nighttime with Seth by myself. Hands down, nights are my least favorite thing about being a new mom. Sometimes Seth goes down for bed easily, and sometimes he fusses for over an hour. I usually cave and wake David up to help me if he goes too long. It's the worst if he wants to stay up after the middle of the night feeding. That's when I feel my sanity start to go. So I was pretty nervous right before Seth's bedtime. My stomach was in knots for about an hour before. But God was gracious, and Seth went down after only a few minutes of crying. So I went to bed, and he woke me up to eat at 1:40. No problem, so far so good. I fed him, and he went down again pretty easily. Only to wake up a few minutes later and begin low level whining that would start and stop. I lay there for an 1/2 an hour, thinking, "Should I get up? He's soo close." No luck. So I re-swaddled him, rocked him, and tried again. 20 minutes later...he started crying pretty hard. This started a routine that lasted for about 3 hours. I'd rock him, put him down, and he'd be awake again in about 20 minutes. I had no idea what to do, and I was about to start pulling out my hair. He'd never done this before. I called David at 4:40 a.m., begging for advice. Right before I called him, though, I swaddled Seth in an extra blanket. All of a sudden, he was calm. I laid him down, and even though his eyes were open, he was quiet anyway. I didn't hear another peep out of him until I woke him at 8:00. I get the Numbskull Mommy of the Year award. My baby was cold, and I was too dumb to figure it out. In our apartment, we have to keep one window open, even if it's below freezing outside, just to keep him from getting too hot. I didn't even think about the fact that I kept wanting extra blankets every time I got up with him. So he kept waking up because he was cold. Hopefully he'll survive being raised by me... But it was a big deal for me to make it through this alone. It made me feel like I do have the ability to handle the nights on my own if I have to. The thing I feared actually happened, and I made it through. I even figured out how to fix the problem, eventually. It was a good learning experience, but I'm tired, folks. I can't be Super Traveling Mom all the time. I'll travel with him again, alone, but it's going to be at least a month. I'm ready to stay home and let all Seth's adoring fans come to him for awhile. =)

Those baby blues...

It's not showing up this well on blogger, but in this picture, it became quickly apparent that the boys have the same big, blue eyes. I like this shot. They were having some down time on Sunday morning after Wendy's wedding. It was nice to relax, and I even got a bubble bath for the first time in about a year! My bathtub is nasty, and it was great to soak in a clean tub that I don't have to clean. =) I love hotels. We stayed in a Hampton Inn because we didn't think that there might be something cheaper in Goldsboro, silly us. I'm glad we weren't tempted to cheap out, though. It was still a steal compared to DC prices. It had a nice, soft mattress on the king bed with down pillows. There's something decadent to me about watching cable tv in bed, and we don't do that unless we stay in a hotel. I also love the fact that there is nothing that I have to do in a hotel room. I can't be constantly tempted to get up and do some little chore. My family hardly ever stayed in hotels when I was a kid, so I think it just seems special to me still.

And we needed some down time after a whirlwind weekend. Seth is a wonderful little traveler. He likes his car seat, and he slept most of the way down. No fussing for him. And he slept well in the hotel room in his pack n' play. Just like at home, really. But..that doesn't mean that driving 10 hours in two days with a 6-week-old is any picnic. It's not. We got up early, left the second I finished feeding him, drove and drove, and I pumped in the front seat 30 minutes before he had to eat. Then we stopped quickly and switched places, and David fed him a bottle while I drove. We got there just in time for me to feed him again before changing in the pastor's office for the wedding. Whew! We repeated the routine the next day, except that we stopped by Chris and Mandy's on the way back, not realizing that we'd lost an hour for daylight savings time. It was not early when we got back. We wouldn't have missed Wendy's wedding for the world, and it was definitely worth the long trip, but I don't recommend doing that if you don't have to. =)

Wendy and Jon

We had a wonderful time watching Wendy and Jon tie the knot! They're married! Guys, we're sooo happy for you! We've known you for about 10 years now!, and we've watched you grow and change since college. We know that your lives make God smile. We've watched Him prepare you for each other through all your adventures and your reactions to them. You sought Him, and eventually, after years of wondering where Mr. and Ms. Right were, He showed you that you had become them for each other. You were right under each other's noses the whole time, but yet, you weren't. You weren't the people you are today, so you weren't ready for the revealing just yet, I guess. We can't wait to watch you grow together into one flesh.

Wendy, you said that you wanted Seth to be the first baby that you held on your wedding day. And he was. You're so beautiful. And it's fitting that a bride holds a little one. There's your future. =)

Not a girl...

We're going to Wendy's wedding this weekend! (I link to her blog if you want to check it out.) This is a big deal for us because we've never taken him on a car trip or overnight trip before. We'll see how this goes. It's all trial and error for two total novices. So, I was afraid he didn't have a thing to wear to this big event among his moutains of cute baby clothes. Well, nothing dressy anyway. They don't have suits for newborns, and I, for one, am thankful for that. So I dressed him up in a couple of outfits and took his picture so Daddy could vote. Can you tell this is my first and only child? =) This was the second outfit of two I attempted to get him in this morning. He's truly thrilled about it. I entitled this picture: "I'm not a girl, Mommy. I don't like to play dress up. Please cease and desist immediately." I had pity, and I did. But isn't himums just the cutest wittle ting? =)

Laundry and apple cake...

Well, I've figured out a way to do laundry around here without having an extra person around to watch the baby. It's called the Baby Bjorn. It's not graceful, but I think it's going to work. So before I go to change out the load, and while Seth sucks his passy close to my chest, I thought I'd share a new recipe with you. I got this one from Cheryl Stolldorf. She was one great cook, and though she is in heaven, her recipes will continue to bless our family here on earth for a long, long time to come. I made her Apple Cake the other day, and realized I should've tried it a lot earlier. So here goes...

Cheryl's Apple Cake

1 3/4 c. flour
1 c. sugar
1 t. baking soda
1/4 t. salt
1/4 t. baking powder
1 t. cinnamon
1/2 c. oil
1/2 c. milk
1 egg
1 T. vanilla
2 apples, peeled, cored, and cut into small chunks
1/2 c. raisins

Stir together all dry ingredients in a big bowl, then stir in the rest. Pour into greased 9x13 dish and bake on 350 for 20-30 minutes.

It's super easy, folks, and the flavor is great. I love that I had all the ingredients on hand, since we always have apples and raisins around here. It makes kind of a bread pudding consistency kind of cake. Very moist.

Drum roll please...

(Trumpets sounding...)

(Rocky theme swells in the background...)

Today...

I buttoned my jeans.

Guys, this means nothing to you. Girls, you know this is huge. I had begun to think that there was no end in sight to my time in maternity jeans, which by the way, aren't nearly as much fun when you're not pregnant anymore. Now, the jeans were not happy about being buttoned. If they could've talked, they would've said, "No! Please. Ouch! This hurts!" But they can't speak, so tough tahooties to them. I'm glad the button is riveted in in such a way that it can't pop off. The belly flopping over the jeans is something I choose not to dwell upon, but I can wear them, if I don't mind the possibility of my internal organs being smushed to half their current size. Hmmm...I wonder if organ reduction surgery would be a good way to get a flat stomach again. So if you see me, and I look like I'm wearing denim colored stretch pants, please snicker quietly into your hands and give me my victory!

Asking for the moon...

My sister-in-law, Terri, has accused me of being abnormally "chipper" on this blog recently. She said she missed "the honest Ellen" that I was before I realized that lots of local people that I see regulary are reading this thing. =) She knows me well, and she has a valid point. But I still contend that the main reason why I've been more chipper lately has been because there's been so much to be chipper about! I do love having a new baby, sleep deprivation notwithstanding.

But I have realized recently that I do have a complex issue to air, so why not air it? I've realized that I've already started thinking about whether or not I'll be able to have another baby. I really didn't think that this would come up at all for several months, maybe even a year. I wanted to just soak up every minute of the time with Seth and banish the thought of him possibly being the only baby for me. I'm not really thinking about it a lot, but it has come to my mind. The bad thing is that the little, wonderful things that I experience with him have the unintended consequence of occasionally making me think bittersweet thoughts. Is this the last time I'll kiss the soft cheeks of my 5-week-old? As he grows, am I experiencing lots of firsts and lots of lasts at the same time? The time is already flying by so quickly. I can hardly believe he's over a month old. I can see the changes in him. I can see the next size in diapers coming soon. He likes his swing now when he couldn't stand it two weeks ago. I think he'll be smiling soon, and I swear I'd swallow fire batons if I could get a grin from him now.

All this sad/happy mingling started when I was waiting to get prepped for my c-section. I had put on my hospital gown, and I was waiting nervously for them to come in and get me set with my IV. There was a nurse, a new baby, and a proud daddy in the room, getting all of their new baby scores recorded. I heard that child crying, and I felt Seth moving inside me, and I started to cry. I cried because in just under an hour, I wouldn't have him inside of me anymore. I would have to say goodbye to that part of our relationship, and I'd have to say goodbye to my miracle pregnancy. I loved having him that close to me, and it was going to be over so soon. And I wasn't ready in some ways. I wasn't ready to not be pregnant, knowing that it could be my last pregnancy. So the tears ran silently down my face for several minutes, until the nurses came to distract me. And I felt silly for crying over it, but that didn't change the momentary sadness.

The tears came again when I was packing up all my maternity shirts. He was a week old, and I watched him sleeping in his cradle, and I packed up the cherished garb that I'd longed for and enjoying wearing with him. And I did it, missing him inside me, and wondering if I'd ever need it again.

It could happen again. I know several women who struggled and struggled to get pregnant with their first child and then had others easily afterward. Each of their stories gives me hope. But I know of other women who've had to go through fertility treatment each time they wanted to get pregnant, and some who've only been able to succeed at that once. Three years of trying, three different kinds of medication, and one devastating miscarriage are in my past. If I act like I think I could have another, it's mainly hopeful posturing. I can't count on it. So many women speak casually about saving their baby clothes and getting unisex baby gear so they can use it on multiple children. I try to talk like that, but I'm not convinced of it. Not deep down. The Lord hasn't promised me anything more than the miracle swinging peacefully behind me. For me, asking for another pregnancy feels like asking for the moon.

So I will hungrily grab at each day with my baby. And I guess I'll be mourning his passage out of babyhood. And I'll try to remember to hold him more instead of letting him sit in his swing. The dishes can wait; he won't stay this cuddly forever. I've already joked with David that he's going to have to check up on me to make sure I start feeding him solid foods before he's a year old. That feels like the beginning of the end of babydom for me. If there's anything I'm getting from all this introspection, it's that I have to thoroughly enjoy the gifts that God gives me today. None of us can count on tomorrow, and I'm thankful for my awareness that childhood is precious and fleeting.

Hmm, family resemblance, anyone?

Son- January 26, 2007

Father- April 3, 1977

Any questions? =)