Our dream come true...

Our miracle arrived at 12:59 p.m. on Friday, January 26 weighing in at 7 lb., 5 oz. and length, 20 inches. Seth David is his name, and he has dark brown hair and the most beautiful blue eyes I've ever seen.

"He gives the barren woman a home, making her the joyous mother of children. Praise the Lord!" - Psalm 113:9

"Behold, I will do something new, Now it will spring forth; Will you not be aware of it? I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, Rivers in the desert."- Isaiah 43:19

"For this boy I prayed, and the Lord has given me my petition which I asked of Him. So I have also dedicated him to the Lord; as long as he lives, he is dedicated to the Lord."- 1 Samuel 1:27-28

"...And she who was called barren is now in her sixth month. For nothing is impossible with God."- Luke 1:36

"The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the afflicted; He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted... to grant to those who mourn in Zion, giving them a garland instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning..."- Isaiah 61: 1, 3

Streams in the Desert on his birthday...

David and I are about to go to the hospital, but before we headed out, I decided to read the devotional that sustained us during a lot of our time of infertility. It's called "Streams in the Desert," and this is the reading for today, January 26. It almost made me tear up. What a journey it has been.

"I have begun to give;…begin to possess" (Deut. 2:31).

A great deal is said in the Bible about waiting for God. The lesson cannot be too strongly enforced. We easily grow impatient of God's delays. Much of our trouble in life comes out of our restless, sometimes reckless, haste. We cannot wait for the fruit to ripen, but insist on plucking it while it is green. We cannot wait for the answers to our prayers, although the things we ask for may require long years in their preparation for us. We are exhorted to walk with God; but ofttimes God walks very slowly. But there is another phase of the lesson. God often waits for us.
We fail many times to receive the blessing He has ready for us, because we do not go forward with Him. While we miss much good through not waiting for God, we also miss much through over-waiting. There are times when our strength is to sit still, but there are also times when we are to go forward with a firm step.

There are many Divine promises which are conditioned upon the beginning of some action on our part. When we begin to obey, God will begin to bless us. Great things were promised to Abraham, but not one of them could have been obtained by waiting in Chaldea. He must leave home, friends, and country, and go out into unknown paths and press on in unfaltering obedience in order to receive the promises. The ten lepers were told to show themselves to the priest, and "as they went they were cleansed." If they had waited to see the cleansing come in their flesh before they would start, they would never have seen it. God was waiting to cleanse them; and the moment their faith began to work, the blessing came.

When the Israelites were shut in by a pursuing army at the Red Sea, they were commanded to "Go forward." Their duty was no longer one of waiting, but of rising up from bended knees and going forward in the way of heroic faith. They were commanded to show their faith at another time by beginning their march over the Jordan while the river ran to its widest banks. The key to unlock the gate into the Land of Promise they held in their own hands, and the gate would not turn on its hinges until they had approached it and unlocked it. That key was faith. We are set to fight certain battles. We say we can never be victorious; that we never can conquer these enemies; but, as we enter the conflict, One comes and fights by our side, and through Him we are more than conquerors. If we had waited, trembling and fearing, for our Helper to come before we would join the battle, we should have waited in vain. This would have been the over-waiting of unbelief. God is waiting to pour richest blessings upon you. Press forward with bold confidence and take what is yours. "I have begun to give, begin to possess." --J. R. Miller

Baby coming tomorrow...

I went in for a regular check-up today, and came out with an order for a c-section. This was not what I'd planned on, but I'll take it. Apparently the other two doctors in my practice can't tell the difference between my child's head and his little bottom. Hmmmm. This does not bode well for the future. =) He's totally breech, as confirmed by the ultrasound they did, and his poor little legs are stuck up near his ears. My fluid is a little low, though not dangerous, so the smart doctor I had today decided that he needs to enter the world tomorrow at 1:30 p.m. This is kind of a shock for us because I was sure I was going vaginal on my own, but we're excited. I'm nervous, though, so please pray for a safe and healthy surgery for everyone. We love you all.

The sisterhood of motherhood...

Downstairs, in a laundry room washer, is a nursing pillow swishing it's way to cleanliness. It wasn't mine until 5 minutes ago. I was given this pillow by a woman, Debbie, whose last name I don't actually know that I met this morning at Bible study. I am surprised and humbled by this act of generosity, and I'm learning, little by little, about the sisterhood of mothers everywhere.

I began learning about it this pregnancy. I saw the excited smiles and felt the warm hugs of moms who wanted to wish me joy on my new journey. I have felt glimpses of the mom connection through many conversations with those women eager to share their own stories and experiences and tips. They have things that worked for them and things that didn't, and they want to pass those along. I have a closet full of maternity clothes, at least half of which do not belong to me. Their tags are permanently marked with the initials of women I love, "CS," "TW, "RB." When I look at my closet now, I feel loved. I feel the love of a shared ritual, a rite of passage, our 21st century equivalent of the women of the tribe gathering to help with the birthing of a baby. We share clothes, and we all benefit by an expanded 9 month wardrobe. At the same time, I feel passed on to me the well wishes and hopeful days of expectant mothers before me. If you thought you were just passing on a Motherhood shirt, well, you should've known that my sentimental nature might find a way to make it more than that. =)

My due date is tomorrow. Soon, I will be fully entering a new world of experience. And I'm not going alone. I didn't go through infertility alone. There were women to come alongside me, women who knew my pain and could identify. I wasn't alone. And I won't be alone in the joys and pains of motherhood. I've already started receiving emails about the playgroup at church for Seth's age, and I know women in it from my caregroup. This new neighborhood Bible study that I'm going to is 5 minutes from my house, and I've met some young moms there that live within stroller walking distance. Their hugs and sincere desire to have me bring the baby are a great relief to me. I could've gotten to Debbie's house this afternoon with an easy 10 minute walk, but it's really cold out there, so I drove. As I left, rushing to move my car because of the irate bus driver who couldn't get by because I'd parked on the wrong side of the street, she called out to me, "Come by any time. Let me know if you need anything." And I believe that she meant it. When she was me, apprehensive and disoriented with the thought of her first baby, did she hear those words from another more experienced mother and rejoice? I thank the Lord for the relationships and the help that He has always been faithful to provide, no matter where I've lived or how long I've lived there. And I'm thankful for a new world of relationships that I'm just beginning to learn about that He is putting into place even before I need it.

Snow!

It started snowing today as we were leaving church! David is sooo excited! We've lived in Alabama for the past three years, and it doesn't snow in Alabama. He was really hoping that we'd see some snow this year, and we finally have. It's still snowing outside, and I think it's going to keep going until early in the morning. I get really nervous driving in snow because the only accidents I've ever had have been in snow and ice. But once we got home safely, I was able to enjoy it. I took this early in the day. There's a lot more snow coating the cars in our parking lot now.

And here is David's snowman! He took lots of pictures because he's proud of it. I didn't go down and partake in the snowman making with him, but I was there in spirit. He has oatmeal cookies for eyes and a carrot nose. And you've gotta love the wild, twig hair.

So this evening, we may turn off a lot of the lights and just watch the white falling down outside our windows while drinking steaming mugs of Russian tea. God knew what He was doing when He created white, silent, winter wonderlands.

Home Sweet Highrise...

I've been thinking about putting some pictures of Home Sweet Home on here for awhile now, but I just haven't gotten around to remembering to walk across the street with my camera in hand. =) This weekend, David and I took video of our apartment and our neighborhood for the baby video. So, naturally, I took some still shots, too. This is the building where we lay our heads each night. As you can see, it's 17 stories tall, and there's a little park in front of it. We're standing in front of the Eckerd's across the street. Our apartment faces the back of the building, so we don't have a view of the mall from our windows. I'm not really sad about that, even if it is a nice mall. There are two other buildings in our complex. We estimate that probably about 5,000 people live in all three buildings.

Here is the reason I can do six loads of laundry at one time. There are about 30 washers and 20 something dryers in our laundry room. Everyone has a card that you put money on by using a ATM style machine and your debit or credit card. You then insert the card into the slots on the washers and dryers, and it debits your card $1.50 per load. It's not cheap. I think long and hard before I wash something delicate by itself. Actually, I often mooch off of friends that have their own machines for that kind of thing. =) Also in the basement is our dry cleaner/valet shop. They put an envelope under your door when you have a package, and then you go downstairs and pick it up from the very nice Korean lady. She's really sweet, and she hemmed my maternity pants for me. She's very reasonably priced, and she cleans David's suits, too. We don't have to leave our building for much, can you tell?

This is the view from our roof. We watched the fireworks on the downtown Mall from here this year. The tall, skinny white thing in the distance on the left is the Washington Monument. You can see the Capitol dome in the distance on the far right. And in the middle you can make out a white dome that is the Jefferson Memorial. Closer toward the foreground on the left is a light tan building with lots and lots of little windows in it. That's the Pentagon. It's about 1 mile from us as the crow flies. So for those of you who found it difficult to imagine our current living environment, I hope this helps. =)

Saturday with David!

David doesn't have to work this Saturday! (insert Handel's Hallelujah chorus here) I am more than excited, let me tell you. It's been several Saturdays since he hasn't had to work, and there will probably be many more Saturdays after this that he won't be here, too. At least until the clerkship ends. So I am loving this. It feels like I should plan something big and fabulous to do with him since I can, but it's really cold outside, and I have trouble getting from a sitting to a standing position these days, so we'll probably have a low key day. Right now, he's assembling our bouncer. =) Later, we'll probably take the first video that we've ever taken together. We thought we'd get in some footage of the apartment and pregnant me before he comes. (Mom and Dad let us borrow their camcorder since we're promising them grandson footage.) And later we may attempt to visit Old Town Alexandria for the 3rd time. None of the other times worked out for various and sundry reasons. And maybe tonight we'll watch a movie and eat out somewhere. I know, it doesn't sound big, but in my world, a Saturday with my husband is big stuff. And this could be our last childless Saturday ever! You never know. I know that those of you whose husbands have to work a lot understand my excitement today. I'll be praying that you get some Saturdays with your men, too.

Hallelujah! Some cold weather!!!

It's a lovely, freezing cold afternoon, and I've got oatmeal raisin cookies in the oven. Mmmm. Ok, they're from a box. I don't have that much energy anymore. I'm still working Tuesdays and Thursdays at preschool, even though I get pretty tired by the end of the school day now. I've decided to keep going as long as I can so that I won't be sitting around and stewing if I'm overdue. At this point, I strongly suspect I'm going to have to be induced. I've decided to approach it that way so I won't feel disappointed if my due date comes and goes without any sign of activity. I'm 39 weeks today. I'm wondering if the weather will be too nasty tomorrow for me to go to my dr.'s appointment so they can give me the bad news about the closed state of my cervix. (Can you tell I'm not exactly optimistic about this baby coming soon?)

But..the reason I post is because of my real excitement about the cold weather. Today was the first day I can remember this year when I've gotten really cold after 5 minutes outside. I'm not sure it's gotten above freezing yet today! Normally, this wouldn't be a huge cause for much rejoicing, but this winter, it truly is. Most winters, I've been happy to see cold weather, but this year, I've been begging for it. I have been truly disgusted over our record breaking warm spell, and I'm praying that it's over. Please, please, let it be over!

The reason for this is that I'm a pregnant woman living in a DC highrise. You see, where I live, I cannot control the temperature. It can be hot, hotter, luau, or 7th circle of Hell, and that's all I'll get if I mess with the thermostat. In many buildings like mine in this area, the building temperature is either hot or cold, depending on the temperature of the water that they pump through the boiler in the basement of the building. You can't have both, folks. You either get heat or you get AC. In the fall, the building is required to change over the system from air conditioning to heat once we get a certain number of below freezing nights. I'm not sure exactly how it works, but I know it's the law. So that means that I've been sweating at night and during the day for months now because of our unseasonably warm winter. Months, not weeks. If I want it to be less than 85 degrees in our apartment, I have to open every window in the place. If I want to be able to sleep at night, I have to keep our bedroom window open practically all day. Today is one of the few days since we changed over to heat that I haven't had to change into a t-shirt the second I walked through my front door. Since we are on the 12th floor, even if we don't run our heat at all, which we don't, we still get the heat that random crazy people below us have turned on, perhaps in the 40 degree morning before they left for work but certainly won't be turning off while they're away and the temperature then climbs to 75. It's been a rough winter for me. I find it ironic that the one winter that I just can't get cool enough is the one winter that I don't have the ability to turn on the air conditioning.

So bring it on!! I want Arlington to turn into the Arctic Tundra. I want 20 mph gusts of freezing wind. I want frost on my car every single morning, and I don't want it to melt off until 4:00 p.m. I would be thrilled if my wiper fluid froze every day from now until April. Please, please, please stay cold so this pregnant woman doesn't have to wake up in a pool of sweat anymore! I love the cold. It's my buddy. And David wants a little snow. As long as it's not snowing when we need to go to the hospital. =)

Please check part of your brain at the hospital door...

Please accept this as the semi-psychotic ranting of a woman who is waiting for one life to end and another life to begin =)...

I've been thinking about the two parts of my brain. For today's purposes I will call them "mommy brain" and "grad student brain." I think I have them in equal chunks, and at different points in my life, I've used different parts of them. During my time in graduate school at UAB, I was teaching preschool. At preschool, I used mommy brain. At UAB, I used grad student brain. At home, I used both depending upon my mood.

I love my mommy brain. I've always enjoyed craft projects and creative kid games. I love spending time with my preschoolers. I like to blow bubbles, and I like to sing silly songs. The more motions, the better, in my opinion. I enjoy playing with brightly colored plastic toys. I liked Veggie Tales in college. My college nursing home team did a skit to "Where Is My Hairbrush?," and I played Larry the Cucumber. I want to figure out the best ways to interact with children on their level, and I love it when I come up with a new thing that they enjoy. I like tickle fests and making silly faces. I love little kid hugs and kisses. I have greatly benefited and enjoyed conversations with moms about breast feeding, the best kinds of diapers and wipes, nap time schedules, and essential baby gear.

I also love my grad student brain. I have always been interested in learning. I am a voracious reader. I was a good student, and there are days when I miss being in school. I got my undergraduate degree in political science, and I got my M.A. in history this May. I consider myself intellectually inclined. I enjoy good political discussions, and I am not afraid of a good intellectual argument, as long as it doesn't get personal. I enjoy researching dead people and forgotten times, and some of my master's work has been published in the University of Alabama at Birmingham Historical Review. I enjoy discussing the implications of various interpretations of the Constitution's dormant commerce clause with my husband. I want to think deep thoughts, and read deep books. One of my favorite dinner party discussions was about the law and economics implications of having too many choices. =)

But I'm starting to get a little worried about grad student brain, folks. I'm having more and more conversations about diapering and less and less conversations about law and economics and British 19th century Evangelicals. I know, I'm a geek, and most people don't have those kinds of conversations with me because they're not all that interested in them. That won't change when I have kids, and that's just fine with me. But is my brain going to change when I have this baby? All of a sudden, or maybe gradually, am I going to lose grad student brain? Will I be able to remember anything about some of the things I used to enjoy, or will all of that get buried underneath "Itsy Bitsy Spider" and trying desperately to remember how many poopie diapers Seth had today? How do I preserve some of grad student brain?

There were several years there when I worried that I wouldn't really ever get to use mommy brain like I wanted to. Now, I worry that I will lose another part of myself that I consider to be just as precious. I know that I can't have it all. Nobody can. But I don't want to lose big chunks of me in the process of becoming a mom. When people look at me, I don't want "mommy" to be all they see. I certainly want it to be a large part of what they see, but I don't want them to think that I don't ever think about the theological implications of suffering and the sovereignty of God or possibly the fascinating worldview of medieval nuns. And more importantly, when I look in the mirror, I don't want "mommy" to be all I see. God has given me the desire and the ability to learn a lot of neat things, and I don't want to forget them, and I don't want to quit nurturing my interest in them, even when I barely have 5 minutes a day for myself. So if anyone has any ideas on how I can continue to find time to read history books and keep up with conservative politics while effectively and lovingly parenting small children, please let me know. Yes, I know you new moms may be laughing, but I do want your help. I just don't want to check part of my brain at the hospital door...

A freezer full...

Last night, I went "dishing" with my friend, Catherine. I've posted before about Let's Dish, a place where you can go and put together meals to freeze for your family. I decided that doing this would be really useful with the baby coming, so I cleaned out my tiny freezer as best I could, loaded a cooler in my Camry, and made an appointment at the Alexandria store. We got there at 8:00, a little later than optimal, but still fine, and we finished up at about 10:00 p.m. You can see a picture of me here at one of the many workstations. The picture of Catherine, below provides a better view, probably.

Ok, here ya go. Each workstation had all the ingredients and measuring spoons for two of the meal options that they provide for you for that month. There are instructions on the station about how to assemble your meal, and you just follow the directions, and voila!, you have a ziploc-bagged, flat meal to put in your freezer. You put a sticker with cooking instructions on the bag, and you're done! Each meal serves 6 people, and they have directions to split the meals in half to feed 3 people. That's what Catherine and I opted to do. We signed up for the 12 meal plan together, and this meant that we got 24 meals total since we were splitting each meal. So, in about two hours, I assembled 12 meals for me and David. Looking at that pile of bags in the freezer fills me with satisfaction. I have 2 meals each of these delectable dishes: chicken tetrazzini, peanut-cilantro marinated chicken breasts with sugar snap peas, beef stroganoff, 5 spice pork chops with ginger carrots, pork tenderloins with peach chutney, and chicken quesadillas. Sounds delicious, doesn't it? Because of David's aversion to cheesy things, I avoided cheese and cream as much as possible, but it probably wasn't a great month for him overall. Sorry, sweetie, I did the best I could with the available options. This was just one more way I can hopefully make the way a little smoother for us when the little guy arrives. I just hope these foods don't give him tummyaches when I feed him. I'm crossing my fingers. =)

Shower power...

I'm really late on doing this post, but I couldn't just not mention the two baby showers that I had in NC over Christmas. These photos are from the one that my mom and my sis-in-love, Terri, gave me at the homeplace. Mom pulled out all the stops with the fine china and the nice tablecloth, and Terri made sure there were plenty of complicated gourmet goodies available. There were homemade chicken salad croissants and cream cheese pinwheel cookies and delicious cupcakes, courtesy of Pam Dillon, and fruit salad, and a fresh vegetable tray. We had Mom's special raspberry-mint iced tea, too. And who could forget the rubber ducky centerpieces? I love ducks, as you know if you've looked at my bathroom lately. They know what I love. Terri planned games, and she had some great meditations on motherhood and how it makes you think about our relationship with Christ in a different way. She talked about how she realized that we are a lot like Isaac when he has a temper tantrum over something small, like dropping a toy. He overreacts, not understanding that his little world hasn't just ended. Just like Terri smiles and helps him with gentleness, God does the same for us. He knows that we're overreacting, but He is compassionate enough not to expect us to understand that because we have a baby worldview compared to Him. She said other neat things as well, but I thought I'd give you that as a little example. Mom and Terri worked hard to make this shower genteel and lovely, and I really appreciate all that they did. I know it was their way of saying "I love you," and I really felt loved and cherished.

This is my Great-Aunt Mary, holding up her string. We played the game where everybody has to cut a piece of yarn the length of my stomach at the widest point. Most people guessed too long. =) I think my Mamie won the game.

In our family, no man is too macho to help out with girly stuff. Here are my guys making chicken salad croissants. Apparently, Terri and Mom told them to make the filling 1/2 an inch thick, so these two wise guys decided to measure when their technique was called into question. Hey, at least they had fun, right? Oh yeah, they were duly banished from the shower as the ladies arrived, and they shook off the girly vibe by going to see the gorefest Apocolypto. Gross. (It was Vance's idea.)

Here is a picture from the shower that the Church at High Point gave me. I don't have as many pictures of this one. It was held at the Skeens new house, and a lot of my longtime church family came to bless me. It was so good to see all of their loved faces. I grew up in this church from the time I was 11 until I left home and moved away. Each of these brothers and sisters in Christ has watched me grow and change and mature. They've shared their lives and their struggles and their victories with God with me, and they have done a lot of praying for me in the past few years. I always knew that they were lifting me up in prayer for my infertility, and it means so much to share this blessing with them. They had faith for me when I had none for myself. Thank you for your prayers and your presence at this shower.

Ode to Cheetos....

For the past 9 months, I've been following the pregnancy diet. I read the books, and I ate what they told me to, and I pretty much avoided the things they told me to do without. I sacrificed my daily Dr. Pepper, and it became a weekly, much-anticipated treat. I stopped eating lunch meats and hot dogs. I stopped eating things filled with MSG. Brocoli, fresh spinach, carrots, peas, fresh fruit, dried fruit, etc., have been showing up at just about every meal. Chips are a rare thing of beauty in this house, along with anything fried or super sugary. I'm watering down my no-sugar added juice. I eat roasted, unsalted peanuts. Skim milk is the new order of the day. I'm eating reduced-fat Cheezits, folks. I haven't had a Cheeto since July. Everything is half the sugar, half the fat, and half the flavor. Most of my diet is low fat and preservative free. And may I just say.... I'VE HAD ENOUGH!!!! It's time for this baby to come out so I can have a Festival of Junk Food! In the past month, I've been slowly sliding off the wagon. I'm drinking more than one Dr. Pepper a week now. I buy candy bars sometimes at the grocery store, furtively looking over my shoulder to see if anyone is glaring at me with condemnation. I bought ice cream this week, even though I assuaged my guilt by making it low fat/double churned. And I bought a box of oatmeal creme pies, even though I sent most of them to work with David. All along, I have allowed myself little splurges from time to time, but for the most part, I've been really good in the eating department. I haven't bought bad things for me at the grocery store so I wouldn't be eating them at home.

But my will power is cracking. I'm going to go over the edge soon. I want a tall glass of Dr. Pepper so big I could drown in it, full of crushed ice, with the beautiful carbonated bubbles glistening before my eyes. I want to eat Ramen Noodles again, and I want a corn dog like you wouldn't believe. I want to taste the orangey goodness of something besides carrots, the artificial dayglo of a large bag of Cheetos. I want a king size Milky Way. And I want to eat it all without guilt! Mom, if you're reading this, I expect all these things in my recovery room at the hospital. If you can't support my consumption of them, then please stay in the waiting room while I revel in badness. David and I were talking about this last night as I told him that he had to get the oatmeal creme pies out of the house. He said, "This reminds me of that country song from a while back", and then he started singing it. I cracked up, because it sooo describes me right now. So, my fellow country fans, harken back to the 90's and this Blackhawk favorite:

So please, please, please go, I'm not strong enough to say no, Please, please don't stay I'm not man enough to walk away, Please, please pass by, I can't resist you even though I try,

So please go, I'm not strong enough to say no

'Cause when you're around my defenses go down, Feelings get stronger, looks get longer, The closer you come, the weaker I get, If it ain't happened now, just ain't happened yet

That's right, junk food. Stay out of my house; I'm not strong enough to say no. =)

37 weeks....

Here I am at 37 weeks. Some of you older moms will probably say that I've "dropped." I can't tell in how I look, but I can tell by how often I have to go the bathroom. =) The little guy's head is definitely pushing down on my bladder more. My doctor says that my cervix hasn't opened yet, and he's also saying that Seth isn't a big baby. He thinks he'll be a little over 7 lb. at full term. I was a little confused by this at first because I was an 8 1/2 pounder and my brother was over 9 lb., but then I talked to my mother-in-law. Even though David was 3 weeks late!!!, he was only 7 lb., and his brother was the same way. That puts things into better perspective, I guess. I'm certainly not complaining if he's small, as long as he's healthy. The picture's a little crooked here, not the pictures on the wall, but this was the best hurried shot I could get before I left for church.

It's a rainy, gross, grouchy day outside, but that kind of weather just encourages me to post blogs and write emails for some reason. So here I am, with my cuppa hot tea, avoiding the mountain of 8 loads of laundry that I have to do. Thanks to the wonders of apartment laundromats, it won't take that long to do, just a long time to fold. And I also really need to get started on some thank you notes today. Because I am thankful for your generous baby gifts; I just need to put feet on that gratitude.

It wasn't an exciting weekend, I'm afraid. David came down with the stomach flu on Saturday afternoon. I'd been merrily tripping around Arlington, running errands on a balmy, 70 degree day, and when I came in, practically whistling, I discovered that my husband had come home from work and was lying in the bed, miserable. Poor guy. He threw up a few times, felt better, and then spent the weekend eating saltines and 7-Up. I went to church without him on Sunday, but by Sunday night, he felt good enough to take a walk and watch a movie. I followed him around with bleach cleaner and rubber gloves, and I'm hoping that I don't get the bug. Hopefully Baby and I have escaped it.

One thing we did do this weekend was read baby books. Now, I'd already read plenty of pregnancy books, but a few weeks ago, it dawned on me that perhaps I need to read some books about how to actually care for the baby once it comes out. So... we pulled out some standards. David has been reading "Babywise" (spare me the gagging and horrified looks-it's just one thing to check out) on the Metro on the way to and from work. I have really gotten a kick out of him telling me things he's learning when he gets home. He's fascinated by the miracle of breastmilk. =) I went out and bought "The Baby Whisperer." I read it this weekend, and David finished "Babywise" and moved on to "What to Expect during the First Year" for practical things like how to bathe Baby and take care of his umbilical cord, etc. I enjoyed the Baby Whisperer, and I think I've determined that one thing that a lot of these books have in common is doing the eat, play, and then sleep routine. How rigid they are about how you do this or how long it should be between cycles is the difference in them, I think. Also, the Baby Whisperer doesn't want you to leave your baby's room while he cries in his crib on his way to Dreamland. She seems to pick up and comfort and then put down as soon as comforting has worked, almost 100 times a night if necessary. Both methods don't encourage letting your baby fall asleep in your arms on a regular basis, and they encourage putting your baby to sleep where you want them to wake up so they don't get disoriented in the middle of the night. I think I've come away from it all knowing that I want to have a form of schedule, but I'm not sure exactly how that will look for us. I also know that I don't want to do the "family bed" thing. I don't think I would get any sleep if I was constantly worrying about rolling over on Baby, and I'm a light sleeper anyway. All I know is that I now have all this information to use, and I like having that. It makes me feel more prepared. I know the baby will come, and I might panic and forget everything I read, but I have a feeling of slight control at the moment, and I'm going with that for now. =)

The baby's room...

Ok, I couldn't find a way to add this picture lower down, so here it is. I embroidered this for Seth, and I wanted to show it, so here it is. I was lazy, so this came from a beginner kit and took a couple of hours, maximum. But, hey, I liked the bear, and it's made by me, even if the eyes did turn out a little scary. =) Now, scroll down for the story of our decorating job.

Last night, I decided it was time to decorate "the baby's room." This is actually a wall I left empty in our bedroom. For those of you who don't know, we live in a one-bedroom apartment. Don't feel too sorry for us; we're paying more per month in rent than many of you suburbanites pay for your 4-bedroom, 2 1/2 bath houses. That's the nature of the housing market up here, especially for Metro accessible properties. But, the long and short of it is that we couldn't afford a bigger place and still live where we do. So we're going to have to get creative with baby sleeping arrangements for a little while, at least until David's clerkship is over in July. Anyhoo... I had all these big ideas for making the baby wall cute without a. painting it (who wants to repaint in six months? not me) or b. damaging the walls in any way. I wanted a splash of color, so I had this bright idea that I'd make a ribbon that ran around the top of the wall with blue paper tablecloths. I'd cut long strips, tape them up, and then make a big bow out of paper to put in the middle. It looked good in my head. =) Well, one long suffering husband, a couple of hours, and no poster tape later, it looked, well, not like I'd imagined. We'd ended up kinda slanting the first "ribbon" down a little, and we couldn't reposition without tearing the paper. And the edges were kinda jagged where I'd cut it, and the bow was just not working because they paper wasn't stiff enough... so I decided this needed to go in the failed experiments pile. David good naturedly peeled it off the wall for me (see picture above). That's actually the best looking part of it, so don't be deceived. But... I think we ended up with something pretty good looking anyway.

This is the finished "baby room." Some of the things in it were handmade by me. I really love making things for others. It's a way that I show my love. I know that it's not everybody's way, and some think it's a waste of time, but I really enjoy doing it when I'm able. I feel like doing this myself for him is a way for me to tell him that I really appreciate him coming to join us.

I really like vintage baby things. I picked up these two prints a couple of years ago at an antiques sale in Birmingham. They're vintage Methodist Sunday school prints that had already been framed. I've been waiting for a chance to put them up. The name I got as unfinished and unpainted alphabet letters from Michael's, and I just sanded and painted them with blue paint. I think it all turned out surprisingly well!

This is our cradle. I bought this cradle about two years ago when we started fertility treatments. I'd always wanted a cradle, and that was part of my baby dream. So we bought it, and David put it together, and it sat, staring me in the face, for many, many sad months of failure. It's lucky I didn't throw it off our balcony and set it on fire. =) The thought was highly tempting. But here it is now, finally being put to it's intended use. It will no longer be a symbol of hope and failure for a childess couple. Praise the Lord. That's my diaper basket underneath. Since we don't have room for a changing table, much less a full size crib, this is my solution. I'm pretty proud of it myself. I've got a changing pad in there, diapers, wipes, an aspirator, comb, and diaper rash cream.

This is our first "baby," sleeping in her chair in the bedroom. I think she's thinking about getting up. I couldn't leave her out. We adopted her right before we got married, 5 1/2 years ago. She's traveled the world with us, but she's an eastern NC kitty cat. Our new addition is going to be a rude awakening for Aravis, so pray for her little kitty nerves. =) Well, I hope you enjoyed your tour of the baby's room. Y'all come back now, y'here?

A fresh start for devotions...

Well, it's the beginning of a New Year, and like many of us, I've been thinking about some new goals and resolutions for the year. There's something refreshing about the thought of a new calendar and a new slate. I think that's why people don't suddenly get inspired to turn over a new leaf, say, in June. There's something natural about writing a new number in your checkbook and deciding to change your exercise habits, don't ask me why. This year, I'm not planning to start exercising. =) There are too many other things of importance that I'll be facing this year, and I'm trying to narrow down my list to things that I think are really necessary and doable. High up on my resolution list is "Be a good mother." In order to get that item checked off (ha!), I know that I need to do something more concrete, less nebulous, more targeted. And that thing is making sure I have a daily quiet time with God, somehow. When we were in Birmingham, having a daily quiet time wasn't so hard for me. That was because I was really hurting, and I was seeking God for answers. I was so hungry to hear from Him, and I just wanted to know that He was there, and that He had plans for us. Quiet times were necessary to my survival, so I was regular with them. I did Beth Moore studies on my own, and I also did two years of Bible Study Fellowship. Unfortunately, peace and prosperity haven't been so good for my quiet times. I'm happy, and I've found it harder to be so hungry for the Word. It isn't fun to admit, but it's true, and I know that I'm not totally alone in this. I need to get back that sense of hunger and need for the Lord that I had when times were tougher. Happiness is distracting, and that is why I think God sometimes lets the sky fall on us. That way we remember who is really in charge and how fleeting our temporal happiness with earthly things actually is. I don't want the sky to fall again; I want to learn how to focus on Who is truly important without that. And I know that I will soon be facing challenges as a mom that I can't handle without God. I want to get back in the habit of seeking Him so that communications are good with us when those times come.

Last night, our caregroup at church broke into our accountability groups to talk. Our other accountability group members weren't there, so we crashed another accountability group. =) Though we were talking primarily about being in God's presence, that led to talk about how to get there, and that led to discussion about regularly having quiet times and prayer times. It was nice to find out that we all feel the need for help in this area. =) Nobody was happy with their current quality level with quiet time, and it was nice to know that I'm not alone in that. So I got to thinking about practical ways that I can improve with meeting God and focusing on him, even when I have a small, squalling infant.

For now, I can make sure that I take the time to have daily Bible reading on my own. Mornings are bad times for this for me because it takes me a while to wake up, so I have to find another time that works better. I've been doing well with this since the New Year, and I can tell that it's helping me get better connected to the Lord. But there is more than that that I'm going to need when I'm sleep deprived, and when I'm cleaning up spit-up. So I started thinking about a little book that I've read a few times. It's called "The Practice of the Presence of God," and it's by a monk named Brother Lawrence. The book is about 300 years old, and it's very short and simple, but it's simplicity is profound. Brother Lawrence was an ordinary cook at a monastery. He wasn't copying Scripture or coming up with profound spiritual concepts. But he found something that transformed his life. He practiced the presence of God in his daily walk, no matter what he was doing. "As a humble cook, Brother Lawrence learned an important lesson through each daily chore: The time he spent in communion with the Lord should be the same, whether he was bustling around the kitchen- with several people asking questions at the same time- or on his knees in prayer...This is the art of 'practicing the presence of God in one single act that does not end.' " Basically, he formed the habit of talking to God throughout the day, all day, no matter what he was doing. He said it was hard to get started at first, but then God's love refreshed him, and it became easier. When he felt overwhelmed, he simply asked God for help, and he felt revived. The idea is that of continuous communication with God.

I practiced this some in college after I first read the book. I would go to the cafeteria and pray silently for people I noticed. I would pray for a few moments on the way to class or in my car on the way somewhere. It was really good, and I did feel the presence of God more in my daily activities. But somehow, I got distracted, and I stopped taking time out during the day to pray. Prayer time became a specific time that I carved out instead of regular communication while doing the dishes. I would like to get back to more continuous communication. I don't know about you, but Brother Lawrence's example is inspiring to me. I highly recommend that you pick up this little book and find some refreshment and inspiration in it for a New Year lived more practicing the presence of God.

Happy New Year from Washington...

Happy New Year, everyone!!! This was our New Year's Eve, and this was taken at the stroke of midnight. I think we all look pretty good, considering that we're now all old fuddy duddy's who aren't used to staying up past 10:30. We have spent most of the past New Year's with a group of friends from Campbell at someone's house in NC, usually Chris', playing cards and eating way too much and watching movies. Well, this year, Chris is busy with a little guy whose bedtime is much earlier than ours, and we couldn't hang around NC anyway because of my impending due date. So...we imported some Campbell friends of our own for the night. Perry and Amanda came to visit from PA for the weekend! Amanda was my roommate senior year, and she was also one of my bridesmaids. She's a true blue friend in a million ways, and everyone who knows her knows that she can always be counted on to help ya out in a pinch. She has a true servant's heart. She married Perry, another friend from Campbell that David and Chris actually introduced to the "gang," and they've been pushing pills in rural PA (they're pharmacists) since they got married. Perry's an awesome guy, another sincere Christian, and my favorite thing about him at the moment is his big, hearty laugh. It makes me smile to hear it. They came down on Saturday afternoon, and we went out for Thai food (great restaurant-we'll have to go again) and ice cream across the street at our mall, went to church on Sunday, and then ate too many rice krispy treats and cookies, drank too much soda, played spades, and watched movies into the wee hours. They got the tour, like most of our guests, and I think that we entertained them in our new DC style. It's nice to have something fun to offer your friends when they come to visit, and we have something unique to share this year, so I'm glad we can share it with others.

This is Amanda holding her amazing creation. This is a baby quilt for little Seth. Amanda hunted through patterns, asked me what I liked, picked out tons of material, and hand stitched this masterpiece. I can't imagine how many hours it took. She says that it's relaxation for her, and I truly hope it is, because I'm sure it took a looong time. I LOVE it. I'm thinking of hanging it on the wall when I get around to making a room for the little guy. I have big plans for a barnyard/John Deere theme, and I think that'll fit in nicely. Thank you so much, Amanda. You did too much.

The two lovebirds. Perry is trying to look at Amanda's hand in spades, and she's not about to let him. I like this picture.