contentment killers...

We've gotten into a good homeschooling family routine. Gymnastics and Cub Scouts on Mondays, CBS on Thursdays, Homeschool Co-op on Fridays (with the occasional park playdate afterward that I aspire to go to again one of these days). I'm getting some regular time to listen to other co-op homeschool moms share what's working and not working for them, and I like hearing a lot of different perspectives, especially from women who are a little more seasoned than I am. We have a great Life Class at church that we spend time with, and we volunteer in nursery. Going to the park at the last minute is a staple of life that a bunch of active boys and their mom can't live without.

I feel like we've found the right balance for us in this season. It's good. I was feeling deficient in homeschooler interactions, and co-op rectified that a good bit.

But…

Even when I feel like all is well and we're where we need to be for now, it's so easy to second guess.

I like to read blogs, and I subscribe to many in Bloglovin'. But I've noticed that most of the ones that I subscribe to do not involve a lot of posts about complicated craft projects or home renovations. Nobody is making ravioli from scratch while simultaneously painting all their furniture and tandem nursing twins. If they start trending in this direction, I usually fire them from my reader.

I tend toward bloggers that tell me about their introverted tendencies, their thoughts on balancing family life, how they're growing through relationships, etc. I also like to read bloggers who recommend good books for children and adults. I'm a sucker for a good children's book blog.

I can often take the energetic bloggers in stride. That's their thing! They love it, and it makes them feel more alive to tandem nurse while putting up drywall. To each his own! Vive la difference! I find it a little stressful to watch, but I think it's good that there are energetic movers and shakers in this world who enjoy that kind of thing.

It's a little harder to feel at ease, though, when it's other homeschoolers planning and doing lots of cool, educational things. I see all the fun things that everyone is doing on Facebook or on a blog, and I think, "maybe I should be doing that." Or, "hmmm, that looks like fun. It could go well with those books we've been reading on explorers," etc., etc. It's tempting to think I should shake things up and sign up for even more.

But then I remember that a big part of why I'm homeschooling is because I actually want to be in my home.

When we're out and about, that is a good thing. We need to experience class environments and spend time with other homeschoolers and exercise little bodies on the balance beam. But if we're out much more than we are, I start to lose my center. I feel it beginning to happen. My focus gets fuzzier. I rush too much. I don't take the time to look at my boys in their eyes and drop everything to come and see the latest bug they've found.

If I'm going to err, let it be on the side of being fully present in my home. I'm going to need to carefully choose our outside commitments because I'm sure that's most important right now.

Maybe I need to unsubscribe from a few more blogs. :)