I didn't say much about my feelings about finding out that this little one has man parts. =) Actually, I'm relieved to find that I haven't been that disappointed. I don't feel beaten down and hurt that God didn't answer my prayer, at least right now. Sure, I have had a couple of misty eyed moments, and its hard to let go of the little girl dreams, but overall, I'm excited about having boys... plural.
I think I may even be more excited than I was when I found out about Seth. And I really think that this is because I already know what it's like to have a boy, and I know that it's wonderful. He is my little love bug. I can look at him and pictures of him as a baby and get a glimpse of the joy of having another boy. Instead of an unknown, I have a pleasant "known" to look forward to. That is making a bigger difference than I thought it would in my heart and mind.
I woke up with a lot of excitement and gratitude in my heart today. I think it helps me to visualize the future to know the baby's gender and see its little face. We have been blessed beyond belief with this child. His very existence is such a miracle to me. Especially when I think about how I wrote this once upon a time not that long ago.
And I have to laugh. I never, even for a single second, imagined that I would be the mother of "boys" without another estrogen producing member of the family. What does that even look like? I'm such an emotional girly girl in so many ways. It's total weirdness. I so wonder what God is up to... =)
1 comment:
I have 3 brothers, 2 of whom came to NC to visit with my parents and sister over the Christmas season. While waiting for them to arrive, I was thinking how wonderful for my sons to be "brothers." My 2 younger brothers just LOVE to be around each other (one lives in Hawaii, one in Florida) and how much they enjoyed being boys together while growing up. I look forward to such days for my own boys. And mamas of boys are tough mamas! All that Titus speaks of as virtues in the "older men" can only come from young men growing up as "self-controlled" young men. And we mamas spend a lot of time talking about self-control when it comes to raising sons. Wow, the next generation of leaders in the church, growing right in our own homes. It's awesome!
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