Having Fake Thanksgiving...

I'm at my parent's this week for Fake Thanksgiving, so I will be scarce until next week. Seth and I have been visiting since Tuesday night, and David is coming tonight (YEAH!!), and we'll go back after Vance and Terri and Zack Zack leave on Sunday morning.

Some random observations... Some almost two year olds talk A LOT! Zack is Mr. Chattypants from the time he gets up until he goes to bed at night. It sounds a little like this: "Truck! Truck! Car! Nice dog! Nice dog! Hot! Fire! Nana! Papa! Dog! Big Tractor! Big Tractor! Outside!"... repeat, etc. Seth is overwhelmed by all the verbiage coming forth from his big cousin. But he likes the hugs, and Zack is learning that he can't take Seth's toys away from him unless he wants him to cry. Aunt Terri has promised Seth that she will be taking the quick and dirty way to favorite aunt status- sugar coma. I have to watch her like a hawk to make sure that she isn't giving him spoonfuls of corn syrup. =)

Thanks for all the support on the church thang. It's nice to know we're not alone. We visited a place that we are interested in visiting a couple more times this past Sunday. Another random observation... has anyone else noticed that Calvinist men have a more serious demeanor than Arminian (sp?) guys? I can't make this a generalization across the board, since my brother is a very cheerful Calvinist, but I am wondering if Calvinism tends to attract serious young men who take things with a tad more earnestness than the goofy Baptists I have tended to be used to in the past. You'd never see a Sunday School class named the "Happy Adults" at a Calvinist church. And yes, that is a real Sunday school name from a Baptist church we once attended. I'm thinking Calvinists would be more likely to have a Sunday School class named this: "Sanctification and Justification: Discuss Their Deep and Profound Meanings to the State of Your Eternal Soul." Here's a big hug to all my Christian brothers and sisters, Arminian and Calvinist alike. We've got to be able to poke fun at ourselves; it's so much more fun than letting other people do it for us. =)

Told you this would be random... Catch y'all later!

The church hunt...continued...

Just thought I'd update you all on the church hunt. At this point, the number of churches we've visited is definitely in the double digits. Most churches we've visited only once; just about all of them have been recommended by Christian friends who live in this area. A lot of them have been quite large. Large churches are what most people have heard of, I guess, and large churches are the most likely to have contemporary worship.

Last weekend, we definitely reached a low point in our church search. The Sunday school class where we were sent had just fired their teacher, and we got to be there for his hurt response to the news. Just peachy. Of course, we had no idea what was going on, but it appeared that the class had requested a different teacher after a few months of him teaching, and he was sitting there apologizing for whatever it was that he'd done wrong. Some of the members of the class were crying. I have never understood the tendency in some churches to send a person from outside a class to be teacher of the class without asking the class what they think first. What we witnessed was one result of that decision. Bad for the class, bad for the teacher. After sitting through that awkward class session, we found out that the contemporary service at that church occurs during the hour that most Sunday School classes are taking place. Bad again. We came home, discouraged, to a cold, smoky house (see earlier fireplace disaster post).

Months have passed, and sometimes I feel like we're no closer to finding a church home and church family than we were when we moved here in July. It's discouraging. Sometimes I feel like I don't even know exactly what I'm looking for anymore. I want God to hit me over the head with a 2 x 4 and say "This is it." Maybe I'm being too picky. Maybe one of these that we've visited is it, and I'm nitpicking over something small. Maybe what I'm looking for doesn't exist in Raleigh. Maybe there's no way to find what I'm hoping for on a search engine. =)

Sometimes I feel like what it boils down to is that I'm looking for a church that has found that delicate balance between Sunday morning faith and legalism. I'm looking for a place where it is apparent that the church members are enthusiastic and excited about serving God every day of the week, not just on Sunday. I want to be in a place where the other Christians are eagerly looking for God's answers for how to draw their families and their own hearts close to His. I want to be in place where believers are questioning the effects of our culture on their faith. I'd like to go to church with people who have made the decision to homeschool their kids, because that's what I'd like to do with Seth one day, and it would be nice not to be alone in that.

One problem... what I've just described is great, but enthusiastic Christians who meet these criteria often run into the problem of heading toward legalism without even realizing it. Eagerness to figure out how to live a life that is pleasing to God can often lead to artificial rules and standards that the group feels most in it should follow in order to look most Christlike. Questioning the culture can lead to looking down on others who aren't pulling back from it as much as you think they should. Homeschooling can lead to questions about whether Christians you know who aren't homeschooling are sinning because they aren't doing what you're doing. Disputable matters can become far too important in the quest to become more like Christ. In the quest to become more Christlike, people can create points of doctrine to argue over where there should be none.

On the other hand, a church where Christians are not as eager to find God's leading in their daily lives can have a host of other problems just as bad. Christians live in premarital sexual relationships, and no one tries to gently lead them to truth. No one thinks about the content of the media that they put into their minds and hearts. They just watch what everyone else is watching. The Christians in the church look no different than the non-believers around them. There is no struggle against sin; there is easy acquiescence.

What I'm crying out for is a middle ground! I want to find a place where people care greatly about finding God's will for their lives. I want to find a place where others are crying out for God's leadership in their day to day worlds. But I want it to also be a place where that leadership doesn't have to look the same for everyone. Even though I want to homeschool, I want to go to a church where everyone doesn't, and that's ok. Even though I want to cut most TV out of my life, I want to go to a church where everyone doesn't feel pressured to follow me in that. I want to go to a place where people laugh and joke and smile and don't take themselves too seriously in their quest to serve God. I want to be in a place where I sense that disputable matters stay just that, disputable, and where the pastors have not attempted to figure out the one best procedure for most things. I want to be in a place where the feeble attempts of weak Christians to serve their brothers and sisters are applauded and encouraged, even to the point of leadership changing plans to accommodate this important spiritual growth.

I want to find a place where I can relax, be my best, most godly self, and where I don't have to live in dread that either a) blatant sin by either me or anyone else will be smilingly ignored or b) that minute issues will be inflated out of proportion in the never ending quest for the most doctrinally sound, Biblically based solution for something or other. Sigh. Sometimes I feel like I might as well ask for the moon....

Help! Crying baby flops over in shopping cart...

I'm hoping somebody out there can help me out with a solution to a baby problem... I used to take Seth grocery shopping every week in his infant carrier. I would take it out, prop it up on the front of the cart, and then shop while he sucked his thumb in comfort. Now that he's outgrown his carrier in length but not weight, I have to put him in the seat in the front of the cart. He is usually ok there for a few minutes, gripping the handlebar on the front for dear life, but after awhile, he gets tired and lets go, and then he slumps sideways and cries. It's pitiful. I tried out a Floppy cart cover today, and it doesn't help matters much. He's still too long and skinny to be comfortable in the cart. I tighten up the cart strap as tight as I can, and he's still leaning sideways. Anybody have any ideas to help me with this problem? Some sort of rigged pillow idea, maybe? I'm getting desperate. I don't want shopping to be miserable until he gets a whole lot bigger. Sigh... OOOOHH! Eureka moment! I could take some bungee cords and put them on both sides of him and put a super flat pillow around him and the cords in a U shape. I'm going to try that. Any better ideas? If it works, I'll post a picture. =)

My Hero...

My dad is my Hero of the Day! Because of him, I've been sitting by a toasty fire while Seth naps. He managed to diagnose our incompetence and fix the fireplace problem. I was afraid to let him at first, but his confidence was contagious. We didn't open the damper long enough last time before we lit the fire, so the cold air pushed the smoke out into the room. He opened it for a few minutes this time, and voila, beautiful fire, no sooty smell.

Mom and Dad watched Seth so David and I could have a lunch date today! I went and met him at work, and we ate at this great Mexican restaurant downtown. It's called El Rodeo, and it has the best chimichungas I've ever eaten. Mmmm. It was cheap, too! I've decided that after you have kids, anything that you do together alone without them can be considered a "date." Driving to the office to pick up some paperwork at night? A date, if no children come along. A 15 minute walk around the block? Date. Getting the oil changed, picking nits out of each other's hair... date, date, date... you get the picture. =)

I came back to a lovely scene. I smelled the fire as I walked up the walk, but when I opened the door, I saw the fire, but smelled nothing. I guess that's the way it's supposed to be, huh. Such a novel idea, smoke going outside... Seth was playing with a toy on the floor with Mom, and Dad was reading by the fire. Mmmm. What a peaceful family scene.

Now Seth is waking up, and it's time to feed him... I hope you're enjoying your Thanksgiving weekend as much as we are. I wouldn't be caught dead shopping on Black Friday, but if you've scored an incredible deal or two, more power to you. I don't have that much strength of purpose. Enjoy!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving! This year, we're having two Thanksgivings... What's this, you say? Thanksgiving is probably my favorite holiday, but it wasn't my idea to give it a second go round. Nope, it was Vance and Terri's idea. =) Ya see, when Terri bought plane tickets to come home for Thanksgiving, she got the date wrong. So she actually bought tickets for the week after Thanksgiving, next week. No wonder the price was so great! =) Anyway, she figured this out a few weeks ago. The price of changing their tickets was astronomical, so we'll be having two Thanksgivings this year. David and I affectionately call them Real Thanksgiving and Fake Thanksgiving. As in, "What kind of pie do you want me to make for Thanksgiving?" Which one, real one or fake one?" "Real one..." You get the picture. We will not be letting them live this one down for awhile... But that meant that we had Thanksgiving at our little house today. Mom and Dad came, and Mom brought a chicken casserole, and we did up the pies and sides, and I even made homemade rolls. Seth and Dad went out and gathered some beautiful fall leaves for the table. We even had a co-worker of David's who was going to be alone on the holiday. A good time was had by all.

Wanting more...

Ah, the day before Thanksgiving. My parents are coming down to us soon to spend a few days. The house is reasonably clean. =) They'll help me fold my laundry mountain, and Mom is bringing the main dish. All is good.

Except that I'm having a hard time with my reading material lately. I got a couple of books from the library the last time I went, and I have read parts of two of them. They were recently written by authors that are still alive. I've said for a long time that basically the only fiction author I like is a dead one. I adore classics. I mourn that I've read so many of them already. So I thought that I'd give these recommended reads a chance.

One of them that I'm a third of the way through is the immensely popular T**me Tr*v*el*r's Wife. (Don't really want anybody googling it to come here.) It's billed on the front as "a soaring celebration of the victory of love over time." Hmmm. Lots of people love this book. I can understand why. It's well written, something I can't say about most Christian fiction, but that's a rant for another time. The plot is inventive and intriguing. I really want to like this book.

Why don't I like it? I don't like it because when I am reading fiction, I'm looking for an escape, something that will teach me or inspire me without making me slog through murky waters to reach my goal. I enjoy books where the characters have to overcome some hardship or crisis, and where they grow as a result. Most of us can identify with that. But I guess I'm learning that what I'm looking for in a book is not just this. I'm looking for evidence of a quest toward ultimate redemption.

Yup, I'm looking for redemption in the end. Though the characters struggle, I want to see them overcoming lust, stealing, swearing, materialism, emptiness, etc.... After all, I pray to overcome all of these myself. It's hard for me to take if the characters take their vices for granted as things that will never change. It's hard for me to feel that they don't see many sins as sins, though, since they never claim to be Christians, this is completely realistic. I don't want to hear early on in the book that at the end of their lives, the main characters will have decided that a God who cares for them does not exist. To me, that's the biggest downer of all. I guess I can't stand a book written from the perspective of a person who believes that God is dead or that, at best, He just doesn't care. To me, the emptiness of that book is harsh and sad and lacks ultimate redemption. And I want more for the characters. I want more for the author. I want to see, if not them all finding Christ at the end of the last page, (since our search for Christ is not often that neat and easy), at least a yearning or striving toward God, toward Him.

There are definitely some books that lack my kind of ultimate redemption that are worth reading. There are movies that lack that that are worth seeing. We need the lesson that the rest of the world does not think or act like those of us who sometimes live in a Christian bubble (or a stay at home mom bubble of diapers and Walmart.) But how much of that should I be ingesting? I guess I never want to get to the point where I don't want more for the characters. I don't ever want to get to the point where I don't notice anymore that they are sad and in need of a Savior. So I guess that means that I'm glad I am dissatisfied with my books lately. Hmmm.

If anybody knows what I'm talking about and has book suggestions for me that would provide a redemptive escape, please let me know. Maybe I'm looking for more dead authors... =)

Definitely a new take on the Hallelujah Chorus...

Ok, this is hilarious. I don't know how they did it, but it's cool.

Smokin'...

Last night, David and I decided to have our romantic fire in the fireplace. I've been excited about this wood burning fireplace since we moved in. Growing up, my dad would build fires in our fireplace just about every weekend in the winter. It's a family tradition for me. So, Dad had brought me some firewood chopped at home on the farm, and I'd been hoarding it. David built the fire and opened the flue, and I was practically gleeful. He lit it, and for a few minutes, we sat in the dark on the couch and enjoyed the crackling flames.

Then, the smoke detector went off. It didn't wake the baby, thank God, but in the process of cutting it off and turning on the lights, we noticed that the room was starting to get hazy. Bad. Very bad. David pulled the logs apart to kill the fire, and we opened up some windows and doors for a while. Way to kill a romantic evening. Needless to say, I was very disappointed. We thought this episode was over, and maybe we could figure out if there was something we'd done wrong and try again.

This morning, I woke up, and I could barely breathe because the smell of smoke was so strong. We opened every window and door in the house. We left them open all day long, from 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. David killed the one poor bug that made it in. And the living room still smells like smoke. It's better, much better, but it's hard for to believe that a few minutes of smoke in the house could make it smell so strong. I will never try this again. It's just not worth it. My fireplace will now be a place for pillar candles... What if the weather had been really cold, and it'd been miserable when we opened everything up?

So... anybody have any good ideas for getting the smoky smell out that don't involve me leaving open all the windows and doors again?

Oh, yeah, and for the person who asked what camera I use, it's a Nikon D50 digital SLR. I LOVE it. Maybe one of these days, I'll learn how to take pictures on it on something other than Auto. =)

Ellen's Beef and Bean Enchiladas to feed a small army...

Ok, I made this last night, and David really liked it. I thought it was good, but I modified it a bit here, and I think it'll be even better. It's cheap, and it makes a ton. I ended up freezing 18 1/3 c. servings of it last night after we ate. We eat about 3 per person, so I froze them in 6 serving quantities, flat, in plastic bags.

Beef and Bean Enchiladas

2 green peppers, chopped/diced, depending on how you like it
2 onions, ditto
6 garlic cloves, minced
2 T. olive oil
2 (15 oz) cans pinto or black beans, drained and rinsed (I used pinto)
2 (15 oz) cans diced tomatos and green chilies
1 lb. lean ground beef, browned, drained, and rinsed to get off excess fat
1/2 c. enchilada sauce
2 T. chili powder
2 t. cumin
1/4 t. crushed red pepper flakes
1/2-1 c. cooked rice (this is filler more than anything. Not sure if I liked it.)
6 in. corn tortillas (these are just corn and water and salt, and they're better for you than flour tortillas. no lard)
enchilada sauce for on top
shredded cheese

In large stockpot, saute green pepper, onion, and garlic in oil. (In skillet, brown the ground beef.) Add beans, tomatos, sauce, spices, and beef to the pot; bring to boil. Reduce heat and simmer, uncovered, until heated through and mixture thickens some. Add rice, and cook 5 minutes longer.

Heat corn tortillas in a wet paper towel in the microwave to soften. Spoon 1/3- 1/2 c. of mixture down the center and roll up. Put in casserole dish coated with nonstick spray. Spray enchiladas lightly with cooking spray if desired. Spoon enchilada sauce over the top. Cover and bake at 350 for 25 minutes. Uncover, sprinkle with cheese and cilantro. Bake a few minutes longer to melt cheese. Enjoy!

Oh yeah, I give credit to Kelli for making me think about trying to make my own enchiladas. She served us some good ones while we were in Texas. If you want her recipe, I'm sure she'd be happy to pass it along. =)

Saturday morning sauciness...

Good morning! Seth is down for a nap, and we just spent an hour driving around and looking at the last yard sales of the season. It's cold this morning! I got to impress David with my new found knowledge of our little part of the world. We had a good time, but now a young girl's thoughts turn to sauces... =)

I really like making my own homemade sauces and spice mixtures. Most of the time, they turn out to be more flavorful than something I buy in a can, and they usually have less sugar, salt, or preservatives. I made those enchiladas last night, and I think they turned out well, but I'd make a few modifications. I already modified the stuff out of the recipe I got off allrecipes.com, so I would truly call this particular recipe my own at this point. =) But this recipe for Red Enchilada Sauce is completely All Recipes, and you can find it there if you type in that name. But here's a shortcut in case you don't want to go there. It's a good sauce, and it's easy.

1 T. olive oil
2 cloves minced garlic
1 teaspoon minced onion (I dumped in some onion powder here)
1/2 t. oregano
2 1/2 t. chili powder
1/2 t. basil
1/8 t. black pepper
dash salt
1/2 t. cumin
1 t. parsley flakes
1/4 c. salsa (I used canned diced tomatos)
1 8 oz. can tomato sauce
1 1/2 c. water

Saute the garlic and onion in oil for 1-2 minutes. Add everything else and bring to boil, lower and simmer 15-20 minutes...

Oh yeah, and Kelli asked for my pizza sauce recipe. I put it up earlier here.

One of those days...

Since I'm trying to do the "honest" thing on this blog, lemme just tell ya that it's been one of those days...

Seth's been cranky. I know he's teething. He was teething yesterday, though, and he was still cheerful for all the different people who kept him. I think he's bored with me, so it's easy to give full vent to his frustrations. Of course, it's personal... =) Hopefully he'll nap better for his afternoon nap than he did for his morning nap. Ugh.

In my attempt to keep costs down, I thought I'd try getting a movie tonight at our local library. Since one of the largest libraries in this state is just down the road from us, I thought cheerfully of how great this would be. I walked in and asked where the videos were. "Wake County doesn't carry videos." You've got to be kidding me. That dream of cost savings just went up in smoke. Looks like I'll be buying every educational video that I might want to show Seth. So I guess he won't be seeing many. Apparently this decision has been made by a single man who is adament that libraries can't do both books and videos well. Hogwash. Hoover Public Library in AL proves that that's an absolutely ridiculous assertion. Don't even get me started about the Homewood and Mountain Brook libraries. It's a good thing I don't have this guy's name and address. I'd take a possee of stay at home mom's over there to picket on his lawn...

I lost the address I was going to use to mail a book somewhere in the library parking lot. I got to search for it fruitlessly while Seth wailed in his car seat. Guess that errand won't be getting done for awhile...

I cut my finger on my kitchen shears while attempting to make homemade enchilada sauce. But hey, at least the sauce smells delicious. I'm attempting to make freezer beef and bean enchiladas in record quantities tonight.... If it turns out well, I'll give you the recipe.

Let's just say, I'm glad it's the weekend. It's getting down to freezing tonight, so maybe my man and I will try lighting a fire in our fireplace and playing a game in front of it after the munchkin goes down. That and some hot cocoa might help...

A bad typo and an off the cuff comment...

I visited a blog today briefly, and I got my dander up about the blogger's list of things that older mothers dislike about the way younger mothers do things. I made a comment, and due to a typo, I came across as horribly arrogant, even though the point I was trying to make was that I was trying very hard not to be arrogant in any parenting success that I may or may not have had thus far, since I thought the author of the post came across that way in her treatment of younger mothers. After I read my comment, I was horrified to discover that it looked like I was calling myself an "amazing mother" because Seth and I have had some minor successes at some high chair discipline issues! Nothing could be farther from the truth! I would never call myself an "amazing mother" with any seriousness. I'm barely holding it together too many days in a row to dare to give myself anything like that title.

I am continually humbled by how much I don't know and how far I have to go on this motherhood journey. The only point I was trying to make was that just because an older mother has had some success in training her children, that doesn't mean that it's a good idea to assume that she has had everything to do with their good behavior. The grace of God in giving her children with compliant temperments may be an important factor. I've seen moms who try everything they know how to do, follow all the books, and still have children that continually puzzle them with their bad behavior. I've seen moms who put in the same amount of effort and use the same techniques, and their children are generally well behaved. I would be very afraid to say that the first moms are doing something wrong just because their kids aren't as well behaved as the second group of moms.

The grace of God to moms in parenting should humble us on days when our children are acting like little angels. Some days they do; some days they don't. Good discipline is a great thing, but it's not the only thing. And if Seth happens to be having a great day, I need to be careful before I take all the credit for it. I hope that my friends and family will be gracious enough to me not to give me all the credit for it if he's having an awful day. =) I'm just a sinful, totally novice mommy doing the best I can at the moment.

But I did learn a lesson tonight. I should be very careful before I write a comment on a post that frustrates me. I can "speak" too hastily, write something that doesn't accurately represent what I was trying to say at all, and in the process, make a big mess that I can't fix because Blogger's comments are completely screwed up at the moment. Grrrr. =) I can unintentionally offend just as much as the original author because I'm not being careful and letting my frustration get the better of me. This is wrong, and it's something I need to work on. I think I'm going to refrain from commenting on other blogs for a while until I get my "tongue" in check. =)

What do you do when you run across a blog that frustrates you? Anybody else out there ever made an off the cuff comment that came back to haunt them? Anybody troll the Christian mommy blogger sites too much, too? I think I'm laying off them for awhile and sticking to my own safe little blog world. =)

Fall in our yard...

"...One thing about having a baby is that each step of the way you simply cannot imagine loving him any more than you already do, because you are bursting with love, loving as much as you are humanly capable of- and then you do, you love him even more."- Operating Instructions, Anne Lamott

Seth, you're getting so big. I look at you, and my heart aches sometimes with how much I love my little man. I am so blessed to be your mom. I will never take that incredible blessing for granted. Out of nothingness, out of despair, out of tremendous heartache... you appeared. And your smile makes it all worth it.

Last week, you said "Da- da" for the first time. We were standing at the door, watching Daddy come up the walk, and I said, "There's Daddy," like I always do. You pointed, and you said, "Da-da." You didn't say anything before that, and you didn't say anything after that. Daddy came in just as you said it. We both looked at each other, hardly daring to believe it. Before I had you, I would never have believed that such a small thing, just one syllable from baby lips, could mean so much.

That was also the day that you gave us kisses for the first time. You've been kissing yourself in the mirror in your "Do you know new?" book for a few weeks now. But that was the first day that you gave Daddy a kiss when he asked. Your kisses are wet, smiling, open mouthed things right now. You don't kiss the book anymore. I missed getting a picture of it. And that's the way it will continue to be. I will blink, and a small phase will have passed. I don't want to forget a single one of them.

I love you, baby boy. Enjoy your first fall.

Trip to the Lone Star state...

Ahh, back at home at last. Seth is down for an early nap, and I'm doing mountains of trip laundry. You know the kind; it fills your hamper to overflowing after you've unpacked your suitcase. But I digress. This Friday through Monday, we made the trip to Texas to see David's baby bro and his family. We had a great time, and we got to see the newest member of the family, baby Judson, for the first time. He's like a little sack of sugar at this point, since he's only three months old, and somehow, I didn't get a picture of him. Arrghh! You'll have to go to Kelli's blog to see him.

One of the best things about the trip was that we did nothing but hang out and talk and experience daily life together. Sometimes those are the best trips, y'all. We played with the big girls, and David became a contender for Uncle of the Year by patiently reading them tons of books. Seth slept great, since the girls had vacated their room and huge closet for us, located on the opposite side of the house from everyone else. It's hard to imagine another scenario that would work as well for housing 4 adults and 5 children under the age of 6. =)

Dan is a youth pastor at a local church in their small Texas town. We got to see him in action, and he does a great job! He's got the perfect combination of fun and serious. He plays hard with them, but he also expects them to cultivate spiritual maturity and to serve others. They have planned service projects, and on Sunday nights, they have discipleship group. They read a chapter on one of the spiritual disciplines each week for that. This week it was on fasting! Imagine... teens planning to fast as a spiritual discipline. We were impressed...

A note of warning to all travelers out there. If you're using paper tickets, HANG ON TO THEM, even if the person at the ticket counter or gate tells you that you don't need them anymore. Expedia sent us paper tickets for our flights, and they came in one big packet. On the morning of our flight to Texas, we gave the packet to the U.S. Air rep, and she gave us our boarding passes. She did not gives us anything back that was in the ticket packet. On the way to our gate, we realized all we had were boarding passes for the flight there, so David went to the gate agent and asked where our boarding passes were for the flight home. He explained we'd had paper tickets. She said they were probably made electronic and not to worry about it. We got on the plane...

We got to the airport at Fort Worth an hour and a half before our flight was scheduled to leave. We had plenty of time, right? Nope. Because when we got to the ATA counter, they wanted to know where our paper tickets were. We didn't have them. Why? Because U.S. Air had taken them. So David gets on the cell to Expedia. While he's on hold with them, I go over to U.S. Air. The rep there gets on the phone with the main office. It's looking like we'll either have to buy all new tickets or miss our flight. We were not happy. Expedia can't do anything. The ATA reps are nasty and mean.

Finally, David asks for a manager, and the ATA manager has us filling out forms for lost tickets. That's going to be $60 a ticket, but at least, we might make the flight.. Just as David is filling out the forms, the U.S. Air rep comes running over. They've found our tickets somewhere. We rush to make the plane through the slowest security line I have ever experienced. We have to wait for the ATA rep to get to the gate with this pathetic looking handwritten note so we can get the connection in Chicago. We are the last ones on the plane. Once in Chicago, everything is fine. Apparently, the sad looking form he gave us had the Magic Formula on there for us to get boarding passes back home. We were super relieved, and we are thrilled to be home after a harrowing day... Yeah! But be warned, people, paper tickets are something you have to be very careful with, and don't let anyone dismiss you if you ask questions about them until they show you exactly how you're getting home, even if they are short and rude with ya...

But I digress... you want to see pictures of cute children now...

David has been tossing Seth in the air since he was so small that I probably shouldn't even mention how small or some of you would be horrified. It's a family trait, as you can see from this picture of Dan balancing Elise in the air. She got higher than that, folks. Please don't report us all to DSS. =)

On Saturday, we had a visit from the Eidson Crew. I found Shannon's blog from Kelli's blog links, and we've been keeping up with each other through that. Seth and Ian were born one day apart, and they have been tracking each other's development pretty closely, even down to height and weight. I think they look kinda similar, too. It was great to meet someone that I've only known before through a blog. Sort of like internet dating for friends, I guess. =) Aren't they cute buds?

Ahh, all the chilluns except Judson ready for church on Sunday. I figured I'd better work fast before someone spit up or started crying. =) Seth LOVED playing with his big cousins. They were so sweet to him, and he found them endlessly entertaining. He did wonderfully on this trip, even with missing naps and being in cars, on planes, and in airports for two full days. I figured it was a miracle of miracles when he went all day from 4:30 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. cheerfully, while only having about 1 hour of nap in there. I guess everything was entertaining enough to keep him happy...

On Rules, Rules, Rules...

David got home, and he talked me out of my tree. We both agreed that I was blowing today's episode out of proportion. We figure that I'm still feeling raw and new and unsettled, despite the fact that most days lately, I do pretty well. I guess I forget that I'm extra sensitive until something like this makes me blow my lid out of proportion...

And to finish the story, the lecture this morning hit several points that made me realize that I do have to let this go with grace. Here are some select quotes from my notes:

- "We have to battle through our moods. Get your eye of the problem and onto Him."

- "Elijah should've gotten his mind on all the ways God had provided for him in the past."

Ok, I know God's trying to calm me down here. =)

*****So I shall let this go the way of all flesh and concentrate on the next big thing... our impending trip to Texas. "The stars at night, glow big and bright, (stamp, stamp, stamp, stamp), deep in the heart of Texas." We're going to see Kelli and Danny and clan! Unfortunately, our adventure will begin far too early in the morning tomorrow. We have to get Baby up to go to the airport by 4:30 a.m. Grrrr. But hey, it helped save big money on plane tickets. And we'll get there early. I may have to drink my weight in Dr. Pepper to make it through the rest of the day, but that is an option. =) Please pray that Seth will handle the flight and the sleep disruption with miraculous cheerfulness. Or miraculous sleepiness. =) I don't want our fellow passengers to escort us off the plane with torches and pitchforks at 20,000 ft. So, see ya later. After Monday for sure.********

Rules, rules, rules...

I thought I'd write about my morning and what I think I've learned from it. Hee hee. We'll see if I still feel the same way later on.

Today I had my CBS study again. For the past couple of weeks, I've been reminded that this week was the week that we'd sign up for the "core group luncheon" at someone's house. We were told whose house it would be at, and I'd vaguely been looking forward to it as a nice way to get to know some of the other ladies in my small group. We really don't spend time with each other outside of core group, but I've enjoyed hearing their insights on the Bible study, so the thought of a luncheon was pleasant.

This morning, the group leader started to pass around a sign up sheet for things to bring. As she was passing it, I thought, "Nobody has said anything about accommodations for the kids," so I asked if Seth could come. Nobody had said anything about kids at this point. So I asked, and my leader said, basically, "CBS has a policy that children can't come to luncheons. I'm sorry."

I passed the sign up sheet on. And then I proceeded to sit there and feel the tears welling up behind my eyes for the next hour. I thought, "It's ridiculous that something like this is making me so upset," but it didn't stop the fact that I still felt like crying. I fought my emotions, and I fought them, and it was still surprisingly hard. When the core group time was over, and it was time to go up for lecture, somebody had another question about the food. I quietly slipped out. This morning, I was the only woman in our core group who has a young child in nursery, and at that moment, it was too lonely to sit there with all of the older women, most of whom are retired or have teens, listening to them discuss a luncheon that I wouldn't be attending. Which leads me to this thought:

If you are going to make a rule, be extremely careful that you don't make one that will hurt or exclude others. If you can forsee that that's what it will do, don't make the rule. CBS puts women of different ages and walks of life in core groups together. I like that idea, since it means that I will learn from older women who've already walked in my shoes. But as a result, only 3 out of 10 women have young children in my core group. When a rule is made that children can't be brought to a luncheon that is supposed to be for the whole group, then effectively, the luncheon is not for the whole group. You might as well call it "luncheon for people in the group without small children." Because that's what it is. These luncheons are scheduled to take place during the day, right after Bible study. Where is a young mother supposed to get a babysitter for an hour at that time of day? Is she supposed to pay someone to keep her child so she can go to someone's house for a bowl of chili and some fellowship? This is not a fancy dress dinner held at night. Would it really be so hard to include children?

My core group will be having three luncheons this year. I will not be able to go to any of them. And in my opinion, no group luncheon should have a restriction that creates a high hurdle for some of the members to come. It might be possible to have something at night, so that each mom might be more likely to be able to find someone to stay home with the children. Or, in the alternative, they should have a luncheon where young children are welcomed, if they bring their own toys, and where the hostess has been warned that she has to be willing to host children as well as adults. NO ONE should have to face a big roadblock to being able to come.

Yes, I know, young children are messy and loud and destructive. So the rule was probably made to keep houses from being trashed by young kids. But in making this rule, and in the interest of protection of furniture and bric a bric, another valuable interest is lost. And I think this interest is far more valuable than the other one. That is the valuable interest of providing a setting where older women can minister informally to younger women, many of whom are overwhelmed with parenting small children. Younger women might want the older women to get a taste of their lives by meeting their children. Maybe they wouldn't want that; I don't know. But I do think that they should have the option of it. The option is all that I care about, really. Take it or leave it, but it should be yours to take. There are enough places that a mom of young kids can't easily go. She shouldn't be excluded from another one in a name of some rule.

Rules can inhibit spiritual community. So just stop making so many of them...
I'll give you an example. I helped with child care one week at CBS, and afterward, I stayed for the lecture on video, since I'd missed it being in child care. In order to do this, I had to feed Seth there. He wouldn't eat well for anyone else, being very new at it, and his teacher told me that she'd fed her infant last year in the video room, and she told me that would be fine. So I plop his Bumbo on the table and take out his baby food. The video is going, and people are are eating. Seth is quiet; just grinning, making the occasional coo, and eating himself. The lady next to me is smiling at him, and he's grinning back.

I go into the bathroom while the video is still running, having to go while holding a baby, no easy feat, and when I come out of the stall, there is the head of the children's program, standing there waiting for me. Disconcerting, to say the least. She says sweetly, "I'm sorry, we don't let children come to the video room. They're too distracting to others during the lecture." I stammered something and left, embarrassed. When I got back to the room, the lady who had been sitting next to Seth said, "Thank you for bringing him to the room today. He blessed me so much, and I just wanted you to know that I appreciated that." So, because of an arbitrary rule, a retired woman whose grandkids are far away won't have the blessing of helping me feed a quiet baby while listening to a lecture. The rule decides exactly what kind of spiritual nourishment a person receives, not the person themself. They don't get a choice; the rule decides.

So avoid making community policing rules if you possibly can. Deal with it on a case by case basis, if needed. If there's a real problem, take care of it then. Most moms aren't going to let their kids disrupt others or destroy their stuff. They'll remove them before that happens. So why hurt them or single them out for rejection or criticism? Let their common sense operate, and give them grace. Grace, people. It's a beautiful thing...

Yes, I know this is a rant. But I'm hoping that somebody who might have some authority somewhere might see this and think about the possibility that building community and relationships might be better accomplished by letting go of some of the rules.

Cutting costs...

Yeah, I know this picture has nothing at all to do with cutting costs. But it was too cute to pass up. His skin is getting a little orange tint, I notice. Can you tell I feed him a lot of squash and sweet potatoes? Oh, yeah, and there are carrots in just about all the mixed baby food varieties, it seems... When I was little, I LOVED carrots. At one point, the doctor told my mom to stop giving me so many carrots because I was turning orange. But I digress...

This morning I thought I'd write about cutting costs. Nobody likes to do it, but sometimes, it should be done. When we first moved here, we assumed that all our expenses would be so much lower than they were in Arlington that we got a little lax on our spending. Nothing major, but David started keeping better track of the finances on Quicken, and he realized this month that we weren't saving anymore. Bad. We were both a little shocked. After all, with much lower rent and a higher salary, shouldn't we be making out like bandits?

Well it turns out, not when you factor that all our transportation costs just doubled, since he's no longer getting his commute paid for by the Feds, and since I'm driving more now. Oh yeah, and did I mention that N.C. has ridiculously high car insurance rates? They nearly doubled... before we added a second car. Combine that with the fact that David started eating lunch out every day to get to know his new office mates, and Houston, we have a problem.

So we took a deep breath, and we're deep sixing some of our discretionary expenses. David's daily paper subscription is going bye-bye, and he won't be eating out lunch with anyone more than once a week for a little while. I'm going to keep a much tighter rein on the grocery budget. I'm going to pretend that I only have x amount to spend each week, and once it's gone, I have to start replanning menus or putting things back. The exception will be when we have a special event or company. Looks like I will also be going lite on my cable internet. Sigh. We won't be going out to eat as carelessly, and we'll be using more coupons for that. I'm hoarding my free chicken and coke coupon from Chick-a-lay for a rainy day when I really want to eat out for lunch.

And frankly, we're both a little crabby about our cost cutting. We look around us, and we see people living in gigantic, brand new houses, and we see their brand new furniture, brand new flat screen tvs, and nice new cars. And many of these are people about our age who are living on one income, just like us. Sometimes we look at it with incredulity. Something isn't adding up here. Either they have some sort of income stream that we don't know about... or they're up to their eyeballs in debt. I'm betting on the latter.

But with all this conspicuous consumption going on around us, it's easier to get discontented with a perfectly wonderful life. David and I don't really want anything more than what we have most of the time. It's when we get smacked upside the head with what everyone else has that discontentment starts gnawing. We don't want to be different. Why should we have to hold back from doing what everyone else is doing? If more people at his office brought their lunches to work, David would be able to eat lunch with others and still spend time with his co-workers. But they don't, spending on average about $3,000 a year on eating out daily, so he's the odd one out. If people bought smaller houses and didn't have all new furniture, I wouldn't feel self conscious about inviting them over to my cute little place. Why can't we all go back to a simpler, less expensive standard of living? I hate the desire within me to keep up with the Jones'. Must kill it...

I know this is all relative. David makes a good salary. The problem is not with what he makes. Our cost cutting is about trying to save more money for a house one day, not about trying to dig out of credit card debt or trying to stretch to feed our family. I am very thankful for what we have, and I'm so thankful that we can afford for me to stay home with Seth. It's just easy to whine when you're trying to deprive yourself in a culture of excess. =)

This is National Infertility Awareness Week. I didn't know it until I stumbled across a blog, and as I read the posts of this woman, I relived the pain of those sad years I've barely left behind.

Those of us who've experienced infertility know that we will NEVER forget the pain and struggle that we experienced. The challenge now for me is to make sure that those that I know who are dealing with infertility know that they will always receive compassion and a listening ear from me. Sadly, when I was dealing with infertility, I came across some women who didn't seem to remember the dark valley that they'd walked through. Their comments were hurtful, and I remember that I resolved then and there, during those encounters, that if God ever gave me a child, I would always do my best to be there with others in their dark moments. I wanted to make sure that I tried hard to put myself in their shoes, transport myself back to that time when I felt exactly the same way, and speak from that place ONLY.

If you know a woman or a couple who are dealing with infertility, please take the time to read this. I know I don't have the only perspective on it, but I do think that some of the things I've learned could be helpful.

1. Realize that what they need most is your compassion and love, not your stories or your advice. There are many people who want to cheer up infertile people by telling them stories of people they've known who've managed to conceive after a long time. There are many people who want to give the advice of "just relax," and it'll happen. Resist the urge to be one of these people. Those who are hurting during infertility most need a hug, an "I'm sorry," and for you to be genuinely interested in their life. They need a listening ear and maybe, some compassionate questions. Be sensitive, and be there.

2. Infertile couples can feel very alone in a family centered world. This is especially true in the church, where activities are largely centered around either singles or families. They don't feel like they fit in anywhere after awhile. This can be a very, very lonely place. Please do your best to help these couples feel loved and welcomed around you. Invite them over to dinner, and don't spend the entire evening talking about your kids. Ask them about themselves, their lives, their jobs, their favorite brand of peanut butter, if it comes down to that. If you notice that a woman you know is having a hard time looking at your new baby, discreetly walk away with it for a few minutes. She doesn't despise your child; she is just having a hard time looking at a visible reminder that her arms are empty. The bottom line is, let infertile people know that you want to do whatever it is that they need you to do to make them feel a little less on their own in a family centered world. They will appreciate that you care, and that you're trying to be sensitive, even if you don't always get it exactly right.

3. Please don't try to "fix" infertility. It's in our nature to be fixers. One form of this is hoping to "fix" by reminding the couple of some hardship that they're missing out on by being childless. I once had a woman who was having a hard time with her grown son tell me that having kids wasn't everything it was cracked up to be, and it might not have been so bad to have missed out on it. I was stunned, and my response was, "Would you really say, though, that you wish you'd never become a mother?" She didn't have a response. This is extreme, but other forms of of this are: "Well, at least you weren't up all night with a screaming baby," or "I sure wish I could take a Sunday afternoon nap these days." Infertile people would gladly give up all those afternoon naps for a year of sleepless nights with a colicky baby. I promise. If you have children, just stop and imagine for one second what it would be like if your wonderful ____ had never been born. This should give you pause, and hopefully, it should stop an offhanded comment like the ones I've mentioned.

Another form of fixing is the adoption fix, and it's one that I personally had the hardest time with. Please don't ever say to an infertile couple, "Well, you can always adopt." Deciding to adopt is a difficult quest to embark on for most infertile couples. It isn't something easy that a person just does if they can't have a child naturally. This sentence makes it seem like an quick fix, and it's anything but that. It often requires thousands of dollars, years of paperwork, much waiting and sometimes, heartbreak, and coming to terms with a dream of naturally born children that has died. Yes, you might be able to ask a couple if they've ever considered adoption, but do it cautiously and after much other compassionate conversation has happened, if at all.

After putting out all this advice, I realize that I haven't always taken it. Unwise words have rolled off my tongue without thinking; I know they have. So if you've been the recipient of some insensitive comment from me, please forgive. I didn't mean to hurt you. And please know that I'm praying for you in your journey. God hasn't left you alone in this waiting time, even if it feels like it. He has a plan, even though we have no idea what it is. And one day, all this hurting will end, somehow, and He will wipe every tear away.

She speaks on politics...gasp!

Ok, not really. I try to avoid that on this blog generally. But I am a conservative, and that's no surprise to anyone who knows me. I ran across this link for a quiz to determine which candidate's stance on the issues best fits you. Fred Thompson apparently agreed with me the most, and of the Republican candidates, Guiliani agreed with me least. Ugh. Somebody tell that man he's a Democrat, please. Of all the issues besides abortion, universal health care keeps me up most at night. God help us all if we turn into Canada. Personally, I don't want to die while waiting for an operation under socialized medicine. Somebody has to do something!! Anyway, check out http://www.wqad.com/Global/link.asp?L=259460.

First haircut...

My sweet little boy got his first haircut today! Now, I know that many of the 9 month-old's out there don't need haircuts yet, but my little man was working on a mullet. And it wasn't the fish variety. Really, he just needed a little bit taken off around the ears and definitely at the back. So we made an appointment at the local kid's cuts place. They have the cutesy cars to sit in, and your baby can watch Baby Einstein while they cut his hair. Seth was squealing at the screen. Guess I don't let him watch enough tv... He was very good, though, except when she used the clippers on the nape of his neck (see picture below). He looked a little worried then, but still, no crying. I'm sure it won't be this easy when he's two...

My baby got his hair cut, but I got scalped. $16.50 for a 5 minute haircut where she cut off about 16 hairs! This is craziness! I tried to get them to give me the $7 bang price, but they wouldn't budge. I was afraid to do it myself, since it was his first haircut, but I think I see a local community college class in Haircutting 101 in my future. Anybody have any tips to avoid overpriced baby barbering?

It's a beautiful Saturday morning here. David's out mowing the lawn. I love the sweet suburban sound of a lawnmower on a weekend. There's nothing like it, in my opinion. Maybe if you live where a goat is your lawn mower, you get nostalgic about him munching away out there. I don't know, but I guess power tools sing a sweet song to many 21st century Americans.

David and I found a shortcut trail that goes through the side of somebody's yard near us. It takes you by a beautiful wooded creek on the way down to the regular trail. We took a short hike in the hour we had left after feeding Seth and eating our lunch before it was time for another nap for him. I'm just thankful we have a trail so close to us or we wouldn't go walking much because of all this napping. Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful he naps so well, but it's tough to get out for long. Having things in close proximity to you can be key. =) Happy Saturday, everybody!

Free rice...

Ok, all you geeks who were endlessly made fun of for using big words on the playground, here's your chance to use that vocabulary to end world hunger. Check it out! www.freerice.com