A calm weekend at the Suburban casa... Yard mowed, taxes done, fertilizer spread by rotund pregnant woman while said taxes were being prepared. And if anybody has any good ideas on how to get the birds to discover the new bird feeder on the porch, let me know...
But I digress. What I really wanted to write about is a new recipe that I got from following a meandering link trail. Man, I really need to copy and paste the URLs for these. But anyhoo, I made it this Sunday night, and it made plenty for freezing as well. It's kind of like glorified, extra veggiefied spaghetti sauce with macaroni noodles, but we liked it. =) I think it'll thaw well for when Mr. X gets here. And I think the paprika gives it a slightly different flavor.
Healthy Beef Macaroni w/ veggies
Ingredients:
1 pound ground beef
2 cans petite diced tomatoes, undrained
1 can tomato paste (2.5 oz)
1 bell pepper
1 large onion
2 medium carrots
2 garlic cloves (I use jarred minced garlic)
2 tbsp oil
1 tbsp dried basil
1 tbsp dried oregano
2-3 tsp paprika
2 tsp sugar
pepper or cayenne pepper
1 tsp salt
3 c. small macaroni, preferably multigrain
Directions:
Brown, drain and rinse ground beef. You can brown it with a little salt, pepper, and nutmeg for extra flavor. Take all the raw veggies and coarsely chop them together in the food processor. You can use any type of vegetables that you like, really. She says zucchini and brocoli are also good.
Heat 2 tbsp oil in a large saucepan and add the vegetables & garlic. Cook for 5 minutes over medium heat.
Add the tomato paste, stir and cook for a minute. This will sweeten the tomato paste a bit.
Add the 2 cans diced tomatoes.
Add in all the spices.
Add the meat to the sauce. Put the lid on and simmer, over low heat, for 30 minutes.
In the mean time, cook 3 cups of (small) macaroni in salted water. Drain, rinse, and add sauce to it. Heat the macaroni through thoroughly and serve with grated or sliced Parmesan cheese.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Friday, March 27, 2009
White wins...
Ok, apparently I'm the only person in the United States who would paint a plate rail the same color as the kitchen wall. The vote for white was unanimous.. both online and in real life. The best rationale was from Sarah, who explained that its another form of moulding and should match the existing moulding. So... I called the carpenter, and white it is. I will be posting before and after pictures when it goes up. And I'm excited about it getting done! It's a little hard for me to visualize exactly what it'll look like.
Doesn't seem like there's been a lot of blog worthy stuff to write lately. Life has been, well, life. We eat, we sleep, we play, I cook, we take walks. And frankly, I think it would've been better all around for me if I had never installed Site Meter. =) I think knowing that there are lots of random people, known and unknown, reading this blog, makes me more cautious about what I say, and I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not.
I guess I'm realizing that I get particular impressions about others from reading their blogs, and sometimes those impressions are negative. I know, I know. But people are people, right, and we don't have to like everybody's personality all the time! But knowing that, I realized that the way I write and what I say might make me look annoying or whiny or repetitive or ungrateful or rabid or name your other adjective. So... I don't write as much, or I don't write as negatively, or something...
In an attempt to purge myself from this cycle, I shall tell you about my day in all its glory. =)
- I got up late and still got a shower because David was still here, and he got Seth up. Seth "helped" Daddy dress and fix his hair. We got to teach Seth the words "cheap product," since that's apparently what his new hairdresser calls the $3.99 mega-bottle of L.A. Looks gel that I get him at Walmart.
- I've discovered that I'm totally losing the battle of finding something, anything, to keep junk off my white kitchen floor effectively. Yes, I am obsessed with this. The Roomba won't cut it for many reasons, one of the least of which is that it takes an hour to actually get to the offending crumbs. One of those manual sweepers doesn't do it; I just chase bits of dirt around that won't get caught up in the brushes. The best thing is still the good ol' broom and dustpan. So I'm resigning myself to the fact that I WILL be sweeping my floor every single day for the rest of my life. I'm not bitter.
- We bought the wrong kind of fertilizer at Lowes last night. I looked out at our back yard and realized that if we used the 50 lb. bag of weed and feed on it, we'd have a yard composed mostly of dirt, since a good bit of our "grass" is chickweed. So Seth and I headed to the local Ace this morning for something without insecticide or fungicide. And the good people there loaded my van, and they're running a good rebate program on their fertilizer right now. I've already got the thing in a stamped, addressed envelope... =)
- Seth has been a grouch lately. What do you do when they say "no" all the time, whether they mean it or not? And he had a temper tantrum in Lowes that necessitated a disciplinary session. I am a bit flummoxed by the rapid shifts of happy to mad.
- We found a cool used bookstore today! It was across from the Ace, and we wandered in. They had a nice children's book section in the back, filled with delightful toxic, lead tainted, pre-1985 books. Ahhh, bliss. I almost bought a brightly colored 1963 Richard Scarry book to poison my sons with. =) Seth became absolutely fascinated with a big bead maze thingy, and I got to flip through a gorgeous illustrated copy of the Wind in the Willows for 30 minutes! (Of course, he has no interest in the little bead thingy at our house.) I loved those stories, and the awesome claymation PBS series. And when we left, the shop owner told him he could get a book out of the treasure chest by the front door. Yes, they give away free books to kids, as well as a free sucker! We will definitely be going back there sometime soon...
- I'm going out to dinner tonight with a friend. She wanted to take me out for my birthday, and this is how long it took to get around to doing that. I'm going to have a long, tall carbonated fountain beverage loaded with caffeine and sugar at my favorite Mexican place, where I am also going to order the big bowl of queso dip and lick it until there is nothing left. And Seth and David will be hanging out with her husband and kids. I'm looking forward to it. =)
- This poor baby is going to come out saying, "I... WANT... COOKIES..." And he's going to look like the Pillsbury dough boy. I'm convinced. I have zero self control when it comes to sugar during this pregnancy. I crave it all the time. I ate 5 chocolate chip cookies for breakfast the day. And some eggs. For protein.
Well, this has been cathartic. I hope you enjoyed this installment of Things You Didn't Necessarily Ever Want to Know about Ellen...
Doesn't seem like there's been a lot of blog worthy stuff to write lately. Life has been, well, life. We eat, we sleep, we play, I cook, we take walks. And frankly, I think it would've been better all around for me if I had never installed Site Meter. =) I think knowing that there are lots of random people, known and unknown, reading this blog, makes me more cautious about what I say, and I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not.
I guess I'm realizing that I get particular impressions about others from reading their blogs, and sometimes those impressions are negative. I know, I know. But people are people, right, and we don't have to like everybody's personality all the time! But knowing that, I realized that the way I write and what I say might make me look annoying or whiny or repetitive or ungrateful or rabid or name your other adjective. So... I don't write as much, or I don't write as negatively, or something...
In an attempt to purge myself from this cycle, I shall tell you about my day in all its glory. =)
- I got up late and still got a shower because David was still here, and he got Seth up. Seth "helped" Daddy dress and fix his hair. We got to teach Seth the words "cheap product," since that's apparently what his new hairdresser calls the $3.99 mega-bottle of L.A. Looks gel that I get him at Walmart.
- I've discovered that I'm totally losing the battle of finding something, anything, to keep junk off my white kitchen floor effectively. Yes, I am obsessed with this. The Roomba won't cut it for many reasons, one of the least of which is that it takes an hour to actually get to the offending crumbs. One of those manual sweepers doesn't do it; I just chase bits of dirt around that won't get caught up in the brushes. The best thing is still the good ol' broom and dustpan. So I'm resigning myself to the fact that I WILL be sweeping my floor every single day for the rest of my life. I'm not bitter.
- We bought the wrong kind of fertilizer at Lowes last night. I looked out at our back yard and realized that if we used the 50 lb. bag of weed and feed on it, we'd have a yard composed mostly of dirt, since a good bit of our "grass" is chickweed. So Seth and I headed to the local Ace this morning for something without insecticide or fungicide. And the good people there loaded my van, and they're running a good rebate program on their fertilizer right now. I've already got the thing in a stamped, addressed envelope... =)
- Seth has been a grouch lately. What do you do when they say "no" all the time, whether they mean it or not? And he had a temper tantrum in Lowes that necessitated a disciplinary session. I am a bit flummoxed by the rapid shifts of happy to mad.
- We found a cool used bookstore today! It was across from the Ace, and we wandered in. They had a nice children's book section in the back, filled with delightful toxic, lead tainted, pre-1985 books. Ahhh, bliss. I almost bought a brightly colored 1963 Richard Scarry book to poison my sons with. =) Seth became absolutely fascinated with a big bead maze thingy, and I got to flip through a gorgeous illustrated copy of the Wind in the Willows for 30 minutes! (Of course, he has no interest in the little bead thingy at our house.) I loved those stories, and the awesome claymation PBS series. And when we left, the shop owner told him he could get a book out of the treasure chest by the front door. Yes, they give away free books to kids, as well as a free sucker! We will definitely be going back there sometime soon...
- I'm going out to dinner tonight with a friend. She wanted to take me out for my birthday, and this is how long it took to get around to doing that. I'm going to have a long, tall carbonated fountain beverage loaded with caffeine and sugar at my favorite Mexican place, where I am also going to order the big bowl of queso dip and lick it until there is nothing left. And Seth and David will be hanging out with her husband and kids. I'm looking forward to it. =)
- This poor baby is going to come out saying, "I... WANT... COOKIES..." And he's going to look like the Pillsbury dough boy. I'm convinced. I have zero self control when it comes to sugar during this pregnancy. I crave it all the time. I ate 5 chocolate chip cookies for breakfast the day. And some eggs. For protein.
Well, this has been cathartic. I hope you enjoyed this installment of Things You Didn't Necessarily Ever Want to Know about Ellen...
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Decorating help!!
My parents have generously offered to pay a carpenter to put up a plate rail for my blue and white plates in the kitchen. This is my birthday present this year! So I had a carpenter out yesterday to look into it...
Well, I woke up at 5:00 a.m. and realized what he meant when he assumed that I'd want to be painting the rail the same white as the crown moulding and trim. =) I had told him to paint the plate rail yellow to match the walls. I just hadn't thought about the possibility of matching it to the moulding and trim.
Well, what do you think, gentle reader? I'm going to call him as soon as it's a decent hour to tell him to hold off on painting until I can decide. One of the pictures above is of some of the plates in our last kitchen at the rental house. And I also included a picture of our current kitchen. The plate rail would go at the bottom of the yellow space right above the cabinets. I think the cabinets are going to stay wooden stained for the foreseeable future...
I'm looking for advice. I haven't done much of this sort of decorating decision making before where I'm having to decide about something more permanent than where to hang a few pictures! =)
Well, I woke up at 5:00 a.m. and realized what he meant when he assumed that I'd want to be painting the rail the same white as the crown moulding and trim. =) I had told him to paint the plate rail yellow to match the walls. I just hadn't thought about the possibility of matching it to the moulding and trim.
Well, what do you think, gentle reader? I'm going to call him as soon as it's a decent hour to tell him to hold off on painting until I can decide. One of the pictures above is of some of the plates in our last kitchen at the rental house. And I also included a picture of our current kitchen. The plate rail would go at the bottom of the yellow space right above the cabinets. I think the cabinets are going to stay wooden stained for the foreseeable future...
I'm looking for advice. I haven't done much of this sort of decorating decision making before where I'm having to decide about something more permanent than where to hang a few pictures! =)
Monday, March 23, 2009
Hallmark moment...
I just had a Hallmark commercial moment. I had to make chocolate chip cookies for a MOPs fundraiser, so I did that during Seth's nap. The last batch came out of the oven when he started crying out to get up.
So I went up the stairs into his room, and he gave me a big smile as he rolled over. He sat up and said, "Mimi and Pop Pop?" (They were here this weekend, and I guess he was hoping they were still here.) I said, "No, buddy, they went home." "Went home," he said. The bottom lip started trembling.
"But guess what, Seth? Mommy made cookies. Do you want to come downstairs and have one?"
Cue violins. The music swells. The little boy smiles. And they go down the stairs together into the sunlit kitchen that smells of melted chocolate chips. She puts the warm, fresh goodness on his tray. "Yummy cookie!" He holds it up with a big grin.
Just call me June Cleaver. And don't ask me what happened when his one cookie was gone. =)
So I went up the stairs into his room, and he gave me a big smile as he rolled over. He sat up and said, "Mimi and Pop Pop?" (They were here this weekend, and I guess he was hoping they were still here.) I said, "No, buddy, they went home." "Went home," he said. The bottom lip started trembling.
"But guess what, Seth? Mommy made cookies. Do you want to come downstairs and have one?"
Cue violins. The music swells. The little boy smiles. And they go down the stairs together into the sunlit kitchen that smells of melted chocolate chips. She puts the warm, fresh goodness on his tray. "Yummy cookie!" He holds it up with a big grin.
Just call me June Cleaver. And don't ask me what happened when his one cookie was gone. =)
Friday, March 20, 2009
All I need...
Making batter and cakes this afternoon, and I thought I'd flip through my old cds and find something to make my mixer spin... Came across a really old Sara Groves cd. Now this is a song for a recession, and it made me smile... Most of us need this wake up call. Check out the lyrics...
All I Need
Newly married, new apartment
All our furniture was saved from the dump
Yes dear maybe we can afford a trashcan next month
All I need is my love for you and a seat for two
New baby new life
We will teach him to speak French
We’ve got no money so we’ll make it all ourselves
I’ll make the curtains and you make the shelves
All I need is a power saw and a new sewing machine
Honey, this house needs a little something
That bare mantle doesn’t look so good
Someone told me of a man
Who makes animals from driftwood
All I need is your monthly bonus for a wooden walrus
Honey, the Colbaughs are coming over
This house needs some renovations
Just a wall or two, just a little room
And a few new decorations
All I need is a sectional and a satellite TV and dark-wood cabinets that were custom built for me
and a painting by that guy that paints with his feet...
That’s all I need
For now
Go here for the video...
All I Need
Newly married, new apartment
All our furniture was saved from the dump
Yes dear maybe we can afford a trashcan next month
All I need is my love for you and a seat for two
New baby new life
We will teach him to speak French
We’ve got no money so we’ll make it all ourselves
I’ll make the curtains and you make the shelves
All I need is a power saw and a new sewing machine
Honey, this house needs a little something
That bare mantle doesn’t look so good
Someone told me of a man
Who makes animals from driftwood
All I need is your monthly bonus for a wooden walrus
Honey, the Colbaughs are coming over
This house needs some renovations
Just a wall or two, just a little room
And a few new decorations
All I need is a sectional and a satellite TV and dark-wood cabinets that were custom built for me
and a painting by that guy that paints with his feet...
That’s all I need
For now
Go here for the video...
Sunny morning in my kitchen...
8:36 a.m. The tousled toddler upstairs still sleeps. He has to play catch up for a week sometimes when he's had an exciting weekend. =) Seth is just so much fun these days. He talks all the time, repeating everything we say. In the car, we repeat the ABCs together, him saying each letter after I say it. He'll tell me he wants to do it: "Mommy, A...D...E..." And then we do his numbers up to 10. He says, "Yay!" when he's done. Last night, David started him off with one, and he successfully counted to 10 by himself without help! Big stuff in this house...
And I love how he tells me what he hears and sees. "I hear fire truck. I see birds." He drinks in the sights of the world around us, and it makes the world new for me, too. Yesterday, I got just as excited as he did about a rare sight, a cement mixer with the barrel turning. Who knew I could get so jazzed about finding an example in real life of a picture from one of his books?
By the grace of God, my mood turned a corner on Wednesday. My Bible study was hitting all the right notes this week. And God reminded me that He's a god who encourages and strengthens His people, especially when they feel like some things will never change. And so this morning, I'm reveling in the beautiful things and enjoying contentment.
My freezer is full of meat I got on a great sale at Food Lion, and I feel good knowing that we have enough to feed ourselves and be hospitable with for awhile.
That yellow kitchen curtain that might not be quite right is perfect at that price and gives a yellow glow when the sun shines through it. =)
I get to spend the morning with my best friend, and her girls are big enough now that we can all go to the park together.
I'm caught up enough on rest that the impending weekend visit from David's parents feels like a blessing and not a hospitality burden.
I don't care at the moment that the painter accidentally painted my hall bathroom with the wrong color of green when he came back to patch things. I'll call him and remind him about the repainting job he offered later. No biggy. =)
God is graciously giving me ideas of little things to do with Seth that are on his level, reminding me of things I used to know from preschool teaching. And songs are coming back that I haven't sung in years. "Ho, ho, ho, hosanna..." anyone? =) This morning, I'm going to use bingo markers to make dots on blank pages and let him draw lines between them with his crayons.
And Mom gave me a great idea that is already blooming. =) She brought some sunflower seeds with her when she came to babysit last weekend. She and Seth planted them together in cups, and they're sitting on the windowsill. Why sunflower seeds? Apparently, they are quick to grow and usually foolproof, especially for the plant challenged. (My brother got ALL the green thumbs in this generation.) It's only been a week, and one cup is already sprouting. And they give you lots of bang for your buck. I don't really like the look of them, but he'll think they're impressive when we transfer them to the back yard later. They won't come back next year, and they probably won't stink out on me midway through the growing cycle. If you've got a toddler, and you try this, let me know how it goes...
And I love how he tells me what he hears and sees. "I hear fire truck. I see birds." He drinks in the sights of the world around us, and it makes the world new for me, too. Yesterday, I got just as excited as he did about a rare sight, a cement mixer with the barrel turning. Who knew I could get so jazzed about finding an example in real life of a picture from one of his books?
By the grace of God, my mood turned a corner on Wednesday. My Bible study was hitting all the right notes this week. And God reminded me that He's a god who encourages and strengthens His people, especially when they feel like some things will never change. And so this morning, I'm reveling in the beautiful things and enjoying contentment.
My freezer is full of meat I got on a great sale at Food Lion, and I feel good knowing that we have enough to feed ourselves and be hospitable with for awhile.
That yellow kitchen curtain that might not be quite right is perfect at that price and gives a yellow glow when the sun shines through it. =)
I get to spend the morning with my best friend, and her girls are big enough now that we can all go to the park together.
I'm caught up enough on rest that the impending weekend visit from David's parents feels like a blessing and not a hospitality burden.
I don't care at the moment that the painter accidentally painted my hall bathroom with the wrong color of green when he came back to patch things. I'll call him and remind him about the repainting job he offered later. No biggy. =)
God is graciously giving me ideas of little things to do with Seth that are on his level, reminding me of things I used to know from preschool teaching. And songs are coming back that I haven't sung in years. "Ho, ho, ho, hosanna..." anyone? =) This morning, I'm going to use bingo markers to make dots on blank pages and let him draw lines between them with his crayons.
And Mom gave me a great idea that is already blooming. =) She brought some sunflower seeds with her when she came to babysit last weekend. She and Seth planted them together in cups, and they're sitting on the windowsill. Why sunflower seeds? Apparently, they are quick to grow and usually foolproof, especially for the plant challenged. (My brother got ALL the green thumbs in this generation.) It's only been a week, and one cup is already sprouting. And they give you lots of bang for your buck. I don't really like the look of them, but he'll think they're impressive when we transfer them to the back yard later. They won't come back next year, and they probably won't stink out on me midway through the growing cycle. If you've got a toddler, and you try this, let me know how it goes...
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Bottle glass...
I got David these glasses as a gag gift for his birthday last year. They ended up on Seth's bedroom bookshelf. And before he broke off the earpieces, I got this shot. I love it. It's probably a glimpse of his future. =) But kid's glasses have gotten so much cuter than they were when David and I were getting fitted for our first pairs...We had a great short weekend away, and after we got back, we turned around and had company on Sunday night and Monday. It was great to finally meet the Barbee boys! But I was whupped afterward. I feel like I've spent the last couple of days trying to catch up on rest and quiet and to hang onto a fragile good mood. I'm not getting as much good sleep at night because of Mr. X, so that's probably contributing.
But the sun has finally come back out around here, and Seth and I are going to hang the pipe cleaner/Cheerio bird feeders that he made today on the trees when he gets up from his nap. I scored a cute yellow valance for above the sink at Goodwill today for $1.29 and discovered that they haven't trashed their children's books. =) I'm not sure the valance matches the paint completely, but it'll do for now.
And now off to read to Munchkin before he goes "night night." =)
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Soooo cute...
I ran across this today. It's soooo adorable! But maybe I just think so because I did enjoy my gnome template once upon a time.
And this online store has a selection of cheap blank board books. I would think Stephen might be into those, Sarah. Personalized baby books by Daddy?
And this online store has a selection of cheap blank board books. I would think Stephen might be into those, Sarah. Personalized baby books by Daddy?
Turning your perspective around...
One way to look at things... or another...
- "There is no way I'll ever be able to pick out fabric for that gift with Seth. He just unrolled an entire roll of ribbon and then proceeded to pull the holder apart. I am so frustrated...." OR...
- "Well, this means I'll be able to spend more time on getting this right, by myself, at a fabric store instead of Walmart. I can put the ribbon back together in case somebody else needs it; there weren't many left of that kind. And he's certainly good at his fine motor skills..."
- "I have about 80 pounds of groceries here this week. And I'm 29 weeks pregnant. And its going to take me about 6 trips to get them all into the house..."
- "We have money to buy all this food. David still has a job. Seth, can you say, "We thank God for food?" And I just worked some everyday conversation about God for toddlers in there. =)"
- "Why can't you finish out this grocery trip without melting down? I just have a little bit more to do. Do I really have to give you your snack bag so I can finish up?"
- "Thank God I have a full back of snacks in the diaper bag!"
Sometimes a little perspective change is all we need to keep a day from going south. I need to work on making the effort to obtain one more often...
- "There is no way I'll ever be able to pick out fabric for that gift with Seth. He just unrolled an entire roll of ribbon and then proceeded to pull the holder apart. I am so frustrated...." OR...
- "Well, this means I'll be able to spend more time on getting this right, by myself, at a fabric store instead of Walmart. I can put the ribbon back together in case somebody else needs it; there weren't many left of that kind. And he's certainly good at his fine motor skills..."
- "I have about 80 pounds of groceries here this week. And I'm 29 weeks pregnant. And its going to take me about 6 trips to get them all into the house..."
- "We have money to buy all this food. David still has a job. Seth, can you say, "We thank God for food?" And I just worked some everyday conversation about God for toddlers in there. =)"
- "Why can't you finish out this grocery trip without melting down? I just have a little bit more to do. Do I really have to give you your snack bag so I can finish up?"
- "Thank God I have a full back of snacks in the diaper bag!"
Sometimes a little perspective change is all we need to keep a day from going south. I need to work on making the effort to obtain one more often...
Thursday, March 12, 2009
we're outta here...
Mom and Albert came in tonight. And we're outta here in the morning! We're swinging through the Chick Fil A drive through for breakfast (coupons), and then we're headed to C-ville. There's an event there that we've been asked to attend... and we get a free night at a very nice hotel in the bargain! Sweet! I've got a bag full of junk food to unveil to my hubby as we drive out of town. Catch ya later!
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Guilt inducing talk on organization...
This morning in MOPs, we were treated to a delightful, guilt inducing talk on organization. We got to hear about all the things we should be doing to organize our lives and homes. It was loverly. Not good timing for me. I already have nesting/panic that we won't get my million things done before the baby comes syndrome. David had to gently tell me that it won't be the end of the world if the windows don't get washed before the end of May. I was starting to stress him out, and we cannot have that in this house. He already has enough stress at work, and he needs to rest when he comes home. And he hates to say "no" if his hormonal wife asks him to do anything, so I've declared a self-imposed moratoriam on asking him to do anything for the next three weeks. The end.
But I did do something today that made me feel better after that guilt tsunami. I spent over an hour on the phone, chatting and organizing. I have a ton of cabinets in my kitchen, including those at the desk where we keep the computer. They had gotten completely junked up since we've moved in, mostly because we didn't know where we would most logically want to keep things here. Well, I got all that cleaned out, the coupons organized, and I even did something revolutionary for me.
You know that pile of important mail that you keep stacked somewhere in your house, usually including bills, things to deposit, etc.? Well, I actually made three envelopes labeled "Bills," "Deposits," and "Tax Info." I know, I know, should've thought of it ages ago, but I didn't, and now I have, and I feel empowered... Yes, we've tried the little organizer things. Too much space in those puppies; they ended up looking worse than if we'd stacked it. =)
And it helps me get motivated to actually clean and/or organize if I'm talking to someone while I'm doing it, so calling somebody who has time to chat for a bit can help a ton. Try it sometime; it might work for you, too.
But I did do something today that made me feel better after that guilt tsunami. I spent over an hour on the phone, chatting and organizing. I have a ton of cabinets in my kitchen, including those at the desk where we keep the computer. They had gotten completely junked up since we've moved in, mostly because we didn't know where we would most logically want to keep things here. Well, I got all that cleaned out, the coupons organized, and I even did something revolutionary for me.
You know that pile of important mail that you keep stacked somewhere in your house, usually including bills, things to deposit, etc.? Well, I actually made three envelopes labeled "Bills," "Deposits," and "Tax Info." I know, I know, should've thought of it ages ago, but I didn't, and now I have, and I feel empowered... Yes, we've tried the little organizer things. Too much space in those puppies; they ended up looking worse than if we'd stacked it. =)
And it helps me get motivated to actually clean and/or organize if I'm talking to someone while I'm doing it, so calling somebody who has time to chat for a bit can help a ton. Try it sometime; it might work for you, too.
Monday, March 09, 2009
Why did we wait?
Awhile back, a family member asked why we waited to try again for another baby after we had Seth. And I realized that there were probably a lot of people out there who might have had the same question. After all, it did take us 3 years, including a year of fertility treatments, to get pregnant with him. Why not try again right away, since it was so difficult the first time?
I want this blog to give a window into the way some infertile women's minds work. So I thought this was a question worth answering. There may be others out there who took the same approach we did, so if this gives you any understanding of their situations, it could be helpful.
When Seth was born, I assumed that we would start trying again around the time he was six months old. That was how I thought, and I'm sure I said something about to to some people every once in awhile. I thought, "Well, logically, it took us forever and day to get pregnant with him, I'm not gettin' any younger, and maybe we have a chance at getting pregnant again on our own now that he's been born. We should just throw out the birth control after my body has had some time to heal from the c-section, we get a little established with him, etc., etc."
And then he was born. And I LOVED being able to focus on him. I was tireder than I thought I would be. And I realized that I didn't want to rush things. I sometimes feared that we needed to get going again, that it would be irresponsible to wait if we had a little window of time here that we were missing out on to get pregnant again on our own.
But another bigger part of me thought: Infertility has stolen enough from me. I will not let it ruin this precious time with my baby son. Infertility is something that often comes into a couple's life and steals, kills, and destroys. One of its biggest killers is dreams. It shreds the dreams you had of a family life to bits, until you wonder if there's anything left to salvage one day. I had a dream that I would be able to nurse my first baby until he was a year old, without having to question if I should stop because another was on the way.
I once dreamed that I would be able to wait until my first child was a year old before we thought about having another one. I wanted the option of being able to space my children the way everyone else did. And now that seemed like an insane luxury, but I wanted it nevertheless. I wanted to close my eyes and pretend that everything would be alright with us, that infertility would never come back to hurt us again, and we could proceed like a normal couple with one baby boy.
When you are dealing with infertility, it can often consume your thoughts and emotions. There is a cloud over the sun on most days. You may become depressed like I did after my miscarriage. You might be living in a very dark place, and it is hard to see the good in life when you feel like a miserable failure. I didn't want to go back there. And that's how it felt when Seth was a baby, and I thought about trying again. I felt like if we decided to do that, I would be suiting up for battle and walking back into that wasteland... the place where I had just spent years fighting and failing over and over again.
There would be no such thing as "Well, we'll just see what happens." That's for normal couples. Infertile couples may just see months of failure stretching across the horizon, and they dread the descent into sadness. I didn't want infertility to get its black hands on my heart again. This time I feared that it wouldn't just be stealing from me and David and our family and friends; it would be stealing a happy mama from my baby son.
So David and I talked about it at different points, and we decided that we didn't feel like we had to start trying again right away. We felt like we had God's go ahead to wait a little longer. So we did. We waited until he was over a year old. By then, things seemed more stable in our lives. I had gotten to have my time nursing Seth without interruption. And I felt strong enough to handle infertility again if it came our way. Time and God's grace had healed me up some, and seeing how well Seth was doing gave me confidence that our family would be ok, even if we were only ever a family of three.
And infertility did come back. It didn't take many months before it was apparent that my body was just as broken as it ever was. This time, it wasn't so hard. I had Seth. But it was still hard. I can barely believe even now that He allowed us to get pregnant again with a clinic's help. There are so many out there who have been denied that gift for whatever reason. How gracious He has been to us! But I think I was better prepared for the emotional onslaught the second time around because some of my little dreams had been fulfilled, and I'd had more time to heal.
So if you've ever wondered why that couple you know who just had a baby after tons of treatment doesn't seem to be in a hurry to get pregnant again, these could be some of the reasons why. Or maybe not. =)
I want this blog to give a window into the way some infertile women's minds work. So I thought this was a question worth answering. There may be others out there who took the same approach we did, so if this gives you any understanding of their situations, it could be helpful.
When Seth was born, I assumed that we would start trying again around the time he was six months old. That was how I thought, and I'm sure I said something about to to some people every once in awhile. I thought, "Well, logically, it took us forever and day to get pregnant with him, I'm not gettin' any younger, and maybe we have a chance at getting pregnant again on our own now that he's been born. We should just throw out the birth control after my body has had some time to heal from the c-section, we get a little established with him, etc., etc."
And then he was born. And I LOVED being able to focus on him. I was tireder than I thought I would be. And I realized that I didn't want to rush things. I sometimes feared that we needed to get going again, that it would be irresponsible to wait if we had a little window of time here that we were missing out on to get pregnant again on our own.
But another bigger part of me thought: Infertility has stolen enough from me. I will not let it ruin this precious time with my baby son. Infertility is something that often comes into a couple's life and steals, kills, and destroys. One of its biggest killers is dreams. It shreds the dreams you had of a family life to bits, until you wonder if there's anything left to salvage one day. I had a dream that I would be able to nurse my first baby until he was a year old, without having to question if I should stop because another was on the way.
I once dreamed that I would be able to wait until my first child was a year old before we thought about having another one. I wanted the option of being able to space my children the way everyone else did. And now that seemed like an insane luxury, but I wanted it nevertheless. I wanted to close my eyes and pretend that everything would be alright with us, that infertility would never come back to hurt us again, and we could proceed like a normal couple with one baby boy.
When you are dealing with infertility, it can often consume your thoughts and emotions. There is a cloud over the sun on most days. You may become depressed like I did after my miscarriage. You might be living in a very dark place, and it is hard to see the good in life when you feel like a miserable failure. I didn't want to go back there. And that's how it felt when Seth was a baby, and I thought about trying again. I felt like if we decided to do that, I would be suiting up for battle and walking back into that wasteland... the place where I had just spent years fighting and failing over and over again.
There would be no such thing as "Well, we'll just see what happens." That's for normal couples. Infertile couples may just see months of failure stretching across the horizon, and they dread the descent into sadness. I didn't want infertility to get its black hands on my heart again. This time I feared that it wouldn't just be stealing from me and David and our family and friends; it would be stealing a happy mama from my baby son.
So David and I talked about it at different points, and we decided that we didn't feel like we had to start trying again right away. We felt like we had God's go ahead to wait a little longer. So we did. We waited until he was over a year old. By then, things seemed more stable in our lives. I had gotten to have my time nursing Seth without interruption. And I felt strong enough to handle infertility again if it came our way. Time and God's grace had healed me up some, and seeing how well Seth was doing gave me confidence that our family would be ok, even if we were only ever a family of three.
And infertility did come back. It didn't take many months before it was apparent that my body was just as broken as it ever was. This time, it wasn't so hard. I had Seth. But it was still hard. I can barely believe even now that He allowed us to get pregnant again with a clinic's help. There are so many out there who have been denied that gift for whatever reason. How gracious He has been to us! But I think I was better prepared for the emotional onslaught the second time around because some of my little dreams had been fulfilled, and I'd had more time to heal.
So if you've ever wondered why that couple you know who just had a baby after tons of treatment doesn't seem to be in a hurry to get pregnant again, these could be some of the reasons why. Or maybe not. =)
Friday, March 06, 2009
The weirdo that I am...
This Tuesday was one of those days when I felt like the weirdo that I am. =)
I was at a playdate with my MOPs small group, and everybody started talking about preschools. There was much discussion of waiting lists and things about particular ones that they liked or didn't like or how many days to put their two-year-old in. And I just sat quietly and listened.
Now, I went to preschool. My great-aunt taught me in her class, and I still remember her coming around with the honey bear and squirting all our little fingers with just a dab. (She was known as the town Bee Lady.) My mother was the music teacher, and she came to our class with her song book and autoharp. It was great!
But I think it's unlikely that I will be enrolling Seth in preschool. For one thing, he already spends 1-2 mornings a week in nursery at my Bible study and at MOPs. He gets his own Bible teaching at one, and I think he will at the other next year. So I think he already gets as much social play time with other kids as he needs to, and I do get a break those days.
For another thing, I know myself. I don't have a ton of self-control. And I think that if we started down the road of me letting Seth be taught at preschool by other teachers, it would make it that much harder for me to take things in hand when its time to start home schooling. I think I would get used to all that "me time" and resent losing it, and I could possibly get intimidated by thinking about how his teachers did things. That being said, I'm not saying it won't happen; just that I'm not planning to send him anywhere at the moment. Who knows what life could throw our way...
But we're not planning on sending him to public or private schools after preschool because our philosophy of education is just different than that taught in either. We think that children learn a variety of things better in a good home school than in most other educational situations, so that's where we're headed with this thing.
So I guess I felt like this little preschool discussion at the playdate was the precursor to a divide that I may feel more and more as my children get older. Was anyone mean or unkind to me? No, not at all. Nobody wanted to make me feel left out. But I'm seeing that I will soon be making some choices that take me a very different direction than most of the other moms I currently know. I will have less time in my schedule for socializing with them because I won't be on the typical stay at home mom school schedule. Things will be a changin'.
As I was getting ready to leave the playdate, the mom who was hosting asked if Seth had ever seen a particular kid's show that was coming on. I casually replied that he didn't really watch tv. Now, whenever I do this, something inevitably happens. The mom who I'm talking to immediately starts apologizing for her kid's tv habits and explaining them.
And I sigh an inner sigh. I wasn't telling her that Seth didn't watch much tv to make her feel bad. I just wanted to explain why I wouldn't be able to converse with her about Dora the Explorer. And why my son might plant himself in front of her tv with his nose about 1/2 an inch from it. I have not taken an oath signed in blood that Seth will never watch television. And if I did, I'm sure that would be my downfall.
When Seth was born, David and I said that our goal was that he watch as little tv as I could possibly stand. So I worked really hard at doing other things with him and trying to make it through the tough times of day without tv. And I'm not saying I've always succeeded. There are days when I've popped in a video for half an hour. Those days have come once every few months or so, and I haven't felt guilty about them. It's a goal; not a hard and fast rule. And if baby no. 2 comes, and I can't take it anymore when he asks me to read a book for the 12th time and throws himself screaming to the floor when I can't because I'm nursing, Baby Einstein may start looking really tempting.
So I explained all that to Playdate Hosting Mom. And then she said, "You were homeschooled, right?" =) Is it really that weird not to watch tv? I guess...
All that being said, I don't want to create an unnecessary divide between me and other families over the issues of schooling, tv, food choices, etc. Sometimes a divide might be necessary, but I think it can be avoided a good bit of the time, if we're tactful. Because I don't think if I do x and y, and you do s and p, I'm guaranteed a particular outcome, and you're guaranteed another one. I can do everything I believe will create the perfect, self-sufficient, intelligent, spiritually mature Christian man, and I might get something completely different. Because I can't know for sure what creates that in a particular human soul, and I can't control that anyway because humans have free will and an insatiable love of rebellion. Ask me how I know. =)
Anyhoo, I know I'm rambling now, and I hope you get my point, but I thought of all this when I read this post by MckMama. She said it better than I can, so go there. =)
I was at a playdate with my MOPs small group, and everybody started talking about preschools. There was much discussion of waiting lists and things about particular ones that they liked or didn't like or how many days to put their two-year-old in. And I just sat quietly and listened.
Now, I went to preschool. My great-aunt taught me in her class, and I still remember her coming around with the honey bear and squirting all our little fingers with just a dab. (She was known as the town Bee Lady.) My mother was the music teacher, and she came to our class with her song book and autoharp. It was great!
But I think it's unlikely that I will be enrolling Seth in preschool. For one thing, he already spends 1-2 mornings a week in nursery at my Bible study and at MOPs. He gets his own Bible teaching at one, and I think he will at the other next year. So I think he already gets as much social play time with other kids as he needs to, and I do get a break those days.
For another thing, I know myself. I don't have a ton of self-control. And I think that if we started down the road of me letting Seth be taught at preschool by other teachers, it would make it that much harder for me to take things in hand when its time to start home schooling. I think I would get used to all that "me time" and resent losing it, and I could possibly get intimidated by thinking about how his teachers did things. That being said, I'm not saying it won't happen; just that I'm not planning to send him anywhere at the moment. Who knows what life could throw our way...
But we're not planning on sending him to public or private schools after preschool because our philosophy of education is just different than that taught in either. We think that children learn a variety of things better in a good home school than in most other educational situations, so that's where we're headed with this thing.
So I guess I felt like this little preschool discussion at the playdate was the precursor to a divide that I may feel more and more as my children get older. Was anyone mean or unkind to me? No, not at all. Nobody wanted to make me feel left out. But I'm seeing that I will soon be making some choices that take me a very different direction than most of the other moms I currently know. I will have less time in my schedule for socializing with them because I won't be on the typical stay at home mom school schedule. Things will be a changin'.
As I was getting ready to leave the playdate, the mom who was hosting asked if Seth had ever seen a particular kid's show that was coming on. I casually replied that he didn't really watch tv. Now, whenever I do this, something inevitably happens. The mom who I'm talking to immediately starts apologizing for her kid's tv habits and explaining them.
And I sigh an inner sigh. I wasn't telling her that Seth didn't watch much tv to make her feel bad. I just wanted to explain why I wouldn't be able to converse with her about Dora the Explorer. And why my son might plant himself in front of her tv with his nose about 1/2 an inch from it. I have not taken an oath signed in blood that Seth will never watch television. And if I did, I'm sure that would be my downfall.
When Seth was born, David and I said that our goal was that he watch as little tv as I could possibly stand. So I worked really hard at doing other things with him and trying to make it through the tough times of day without tv. And I'm not saying I've always succeeded. There are days when I've popped in a video for half an hour. Those days have come once every few months or so, and I haven't felt guilty about them. It's a goal; not a hard and fast rule. And if baby no. 2 comes, and I can't take it anymore when he asks me to read a book for the 12th time and throws himself screaming to the floor when I can't because I'm nursing, Baby Einstein may start looking really tempting.
So I explained all that to Playdate Hosting Mom. And then she said, "You were homeschooled, right?" =) Is it really that weird not to watch tv? I guess...
All that being said, I don't want to create an unnecessary divide between me and other families over the issues of schooling, tv, food choices, etc. Sometimes a divide might be necessary, but I think it can be avoided a good bit of the time, if we're tactful. Because I don't think if I do x and y, and you do s and p, I'm guaranteed a particular outcome, and you're guaranteed another one. I can do everything I believe will create the perfect, self-sufficient, intelligent, spiritually mature Christian man, and I might get something completely different. Because I can't know for sure what creates that in a particular human soul, and I can't control that anyway because humans have free will and an insatiable love of rebellion. Ask me how I know. =)
Anyhoo, I know I'm rambling now, and I hope you get my point, but I thought of all this when I read this post by MckMama. She said it better than I can, so go there. =)
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
Picturesque...
It has now snowed 3 times this winter in our little corner of the world. That is highly unusual for this locale. I love waking up to that particular brightness behind my bedroom blinds. The grin on Seth's face when I open his blinds is priceless. "Pretty snow, Mommy."
I had to take a picture of our house. A colonial looks lovely covered in winter dew, dontcha think? The trees were coated thickly this time, and we took a walk down the local nature trail after David got home from work. It was really pretty, though plenty cold. Last fire of the season tonight... Too bad my daffodils are probably toast. =(
Sunday, March 01, 2009
I never liked Rush Limbaugh...
There, I said it. I never did. And I still don't. His bluster, arrogance, and showmanship are distracting from the core truths that really matter. I think he's embarrassing to a lot of thinking conservatives who want to have serious discussions. I'm not saying that he's not capable of serious discussion, but I don't think the way he usually engages his audience leads to much deep thinking about issues. It's carnival barkerism, and we're desperately in need of less clownish these days.
So, I'm with this guy. I think we'd be a lot better off with quieter, gentler, interesting news programs covered from a conservative angle. Like a conservative NPR. At least they get a good bit of their presentation right, even if I do scream at the radio regularly when I end up turning it on during the ridiculously liberal Diane Reem show. But my radio also goes off when Rush comes on...
Like he said: "In place of the permanent things, we get Happy Meal conservatism: cheap, childish, familiar. Gone are the internal tensions, the thought-provoking paradoxes, the ideological uneasiness that marked the early Right."
*** UPDATE**** The innocent question, "What do you think of Rush Limbaugh?" in this household just led to an intense debate of the merits of Rush, with at least one member of this adult household calling the other a conservative elitist who cannot appreciate good old fashioned entertainment with her rhetoric. I have been asked to amend my statements to say that I do not particularly care for Rush's style, but do not have a problem with much of his content. I have also been asked to admit that I haven't listened to Rush for more than 5 minutes at a time since I left the confines of my dad's car about 8 years ago. I counter that that is because about 5 minutes was all I could stand of the same old stuff...
So, I'm with this guy. I think we'd be a lot better off with quieter, gentler, interesting news programs covered from a conservative angle. Like a conservative NPR. At least they get a good bit of their presentation right, even if I do scream at the radio regularly when I end up turning it on during the ridiculously liberal Diane Reem show. But my radio also goes off when Rush comes on...
Like he said: "In place of the permanent things, we get Happy Meal conservatism: cheap, childish, familiar. Gone are the internal tensions, the thought-provoking paradoxes, the ideological uneasiness that marked the early Right."
*** UPDATE**** The innocent question, "What do you think of Rush Limbaugh?" in this household just led to an intense debate of the merits of Rush, with at least one member of this adult household calling the other a conservative elitist who cannot appreciate good old fashioned entertainment with her rhetoric. I have been asked to amend my statements to say that I do not particularly care for Rush's style, but do not have a problem with much of his content. I have also been asked to admit that I haven't listened to Rush for more than 5 minutes at a time since I left the confines of my dad's car about 8 years ago. I counter that that is because about 5 minutes was all I could stand of the same old stuff...
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