Thursday, March 25, 2010

A few moments to type...

Evan is happily gnawing on something or other in the playroom, so I have a few minutes all by my lonesome to type. And I have an ice cold Dr. Pepper with crushed ice at my left hand, so life doesn't get any better.

I've realized that this blog has gotten mighty boring, mostly 'cause I don't feel an aching need to type on it lately. I attribute that to things rolling along at a nice pace, lots of friends, good weather, and a general lack of loneliness. Oh, and books from the library. Those have taken up time as well.

I'm wondering if I initially started writing here because I was lonely and frustrated and just needed to get stuff out. Who am I kidding... of course that was it. I was smack dab in the middle of depressing infertility, and Facebook hadn't been invented yet, and I needed a brain dump. So this blog was started.

But now I am in a great city, I have two tiny boys who needs lots of loving, I have more friends and family around than I can spend time with well, and life is generally quite pleasant. Boringly pleasant. Guess I just don't have as much to say. I'm ok with that. And if 12 of ya have stuck around to read occasionally, I'm alright with that, too. This is still my own little personal corner on the web, and Facebook just isn't that personal feeling to me.

I'm thinking of writing more about the books I'm reading or about the things I'm learning in Bible study, etc., etc. Some days I'm tempted to be grumpy because the things that bother me and that I'd like to vent about, I really can't talk about on here anymore. Too many people I know read it, and somebody would be likely to get offended even if I wasn't trying to be offensive, like they have in the past. Sometimes I have urges to start another, totally anonymous blog, and tell none of my friends and family about it. Those of you with blogs may understand this fantasy.

So, I guess this blog will continue to be boring and uncontroversial because I can't be very controversial anymore. For instance, if I say that I'm frustrated because someone in my life expects too much of me and asks me to do things that I consider big sacrifices at this point in my life, then all of a sudden, I start getting emails from people wanting to know if I'm talking about them. I wanted to write it out, see if someone out there had a little perspective I was lacking on the issue, etc., etc. But that's no longer an option. So I feel shackled and hamstrung. And I will just write about the good bits on here, and the bad bits you'll hear about if you email me. Sigh. Maybe that's better anyway... =)


NotTheMama said...

Whew.... I thought I was reading a "This post will be my last" post!
Wow, I first found your blog when your oldest was just a little guy! He is such a big boy now, and your baby is growing up so fast, too! It's nice to read a blog written by someone who has made it to the other side! And I'll never get tired of hearing about your little guys and their awesome mommy and daddy ;)

SMS said...

Is it me? Am I the one you are frustrated with? (wink)

Perry and Amanda said...

I am still reading and boring suits me just fine.

Ivy Mom said...

I find myself in the same blogging predicament. The weather is wonderful, the kids are well, and play dates are in their prime. Sounds like a good place to be! I don't mind boring either. I think we lead very similar lives!