I'm reading Garrison Keillor's "Life Among Lutherans" I love his books, except the ones with lots of swearing, of which there are a few. But this one seems fine, so I can't resist giving you a few quotes.
I come from a very musical family. My mom was an opera singer. No, I'm not kidding. =) And I spent many, many years in good choirs as a 1st soprano. And no, I can read music well, I was not a 1st soprano because I could only read the melody line, I was one by virtue of my high melodious voice. Ahem. So I appreciate good musical humor...
"The second violinists sit with the percussionists right behind them. It's like having a gun to the back of your head. And you play accompaniment. That's what you do. You're a thoroughbred hitched up to a beer wagon. Somebody has to pull it, and you're the one. The curse of the second violins: any of these people can go home and play the Beethoven Concerto perfectly; they just can't do it if anybody is listening."
"The brass include a number of men who used to be in the construction trades and went into music because there's less dust. The tuba player is the only member of the orchestra who bowls over 250 and gets his deer every year and changes his own oil. In his locker downstairs, he keeps a pair of lederhosen for those freelance jobs. But there's only one tuba, and he's it- and these guys never die."- p. 12