A little surgery conversation...

Me, while Dr. Z. is cutting open my stomach: "Is that steady beeping noise my heart monitor?"

Dr. Z.: "Yup."

Me: "Sweet. I was humming in time to it while they put in my spinal."

Dr. Z.: "What were you humming?"

Me: "Be Thou My Vision. Nothing like a complicated 18th century hymn to keep your mind off the needles in your back..."

Dr. Z. (laughs): "Well, the beeping is your heart rate. The pitch of the beeping monitors your oxygen. It's high, so that means that you're getting plenty. But if you hold your breath for a couple of seconds, the pitch will go lower and lower... Hey, why don't you hold your breath and see?"

Agitated anesthesiologist: "Let's not and say we did."

Me: "Dr. Z., I don't think they appreciate your sense of humor."

Dr. Z.: "Yeah... I'm used to it."