Thursday, February 05, 2009

Terrible Twos...

Ok, so I have a bit of an issue here. I'm not sure if Seth just woke up all of a sudden a couple of days ago and decided that he was now two, and he was going to act terrible, or what... It could just be that he still has the cold he caught on Saturday and is still doing the teething he started last week. I'm not completely sure.

What I do know is that we've had a lot more tantrums around here the past couple of days. And they seem more directly related to his will being thwarted, combined with frustration over not being able to do something, like put a puzzle piece in right. For instance, we've had a lot more meltdowns over leaving things. And yesterday at the doctor's office was a doozy. We're talking all out screaming and bucking. They really shouldn't put a little slide in the waiting room when you have to take your child away from it so that you can see your doctor. =)

So what did you do when your child suddenly started getting mad when you told him to wait or that he couldn't do something, etc.? At this point, I've (mostly) been calmly not giving in to the tantrums. I pick him up and take him where I want him to go, and the tantrums don't get him what he wants. The crying usually stops fairly quickly. But I'm considering adding time outs on top of it... I'm a little confused. The strong reactions I'm getting to being told "no" or "wait" are new territory for us, and its uncharted water.

I also started reading this book that I picked up at a library sale awhile back. He seems to have some good tips and ideas, but I'm a little skeptical of some of it. He wants you to be authoritative so your child will have confidence in the system, but he doesn't seem to advocate much punishment for typical toddler behaviors like tantrums.

And according to him, I also have way too many toys. Well, I knew that already...

3 comments:

Rachel said...

When you're in public, it's tough. I've never been very good at the dropping it all in a store and going to the car/van with the child. But you know how Collin was at this age, a big challenge!! : )
In a store/restaurant there was one thing that I found that worked and I felt fairly comfortable with. (I'm not comfortable spanking in public, knowing that people are always watching and can always call 'you know who' if they think it is out of hand. So I don't spank in public) That was to pick him up and go into the bathroom. I'd pull down the diaper changing thing and have him sit there. I'd look at him and say, "Ok, we're going to be here until you decide to stop crying". Really, it only took about 3-4 times of doing this and him having to stay in that spot, in that room for him to get over it in stores/restaurants. It did seem to work for him. At home was another story!! : )
Have fun!! Blessings!! : )

Powell Owens said...

We tried spanking (only at home), but I think it just taught him to hit back, so we've pretty much stopped that. If we are at home, I take away toys that are thrown, he is removed from the table when he throws food or crayons or whatever and I hold him still, look him in the face and tell him "no, ..." when it's necessary. If the action is bad enough (i.e. biting, hitting), I take away his ever-present blanket and he is put in his room with the door closed and the lights off for 2 minutes. That seems to work after a couple of times without his most-loved item. If we are in a restaurant, mostly we just remove the items that are becoming an issue (utensils if he is swinging them around, food if he is throwing, etc.) until he calms down. The diaper changing idea sounds good, so I might start using that one. On the playground or other child-oriented places, we usually just go home when he starts acting up because I don't want to put on a show for the other parents.

Catrin said...

Have you read Shepherding a Child's Heart by Ted Tripp? I think would give you a helpful place to begin thinking about what biblical discipline is and how to implement it.