Sunday, November 23, 2008

Sunday afternoon...

We got more pictures up today downstairs. I think we're done with downstairs for a little while, so I'll probably post some pictures soon. The biggest picture that I put in our playroom I got at a yard sale. It's huge and has a nice frame, but the picture in it has to go. I'm going to be looking for a nice poster to replace it with. I think that might be the right size. Other than that, David put up blinds in the half bath and put up a towel rack. I still need to clean Seth's bathroom and rearrange my closet with maternity clothes.

I got our first electric bill today. After I opened it, I cut off every light in the house. =) David got home, saw it, and cut off the light he'd just cut on. Just kidding. Actually, he took a closer look at it and realized there'd been a mistake. Whew! I knew it was going to be more expensive to heat and cool a larger place, but I didn't think it'd be that much.

This morning in Sunday school, one of the guys said that they were still settling into their house. I asked how long ago they'd moved. "Four years," he said. I can't imagine. I would go crazy waiting that long to get things together. My OCD is legendary at this point. =) My goal for this house is to have the closets organized and the pictures all up here before David's brother and his family come to visit at Christmas! That gives me some good incentives and a realistic time table.

I'm been feeling myself calm down and feel more like normal this week. I'm starting to suspect that my frustration has not just been caused by road noise (which, by the way, was the worst the first week and a half we've moved in and has been significantly better since), but has had as much to do with pregnancy hormones and the heaviness of the new burden of home ownership. I tend to sit there and think about all the things that will need to be done in the next several years, visions of crumbling '80s construction looming large, $$$$ signs dancing in my head, getting more and more depressed and thinking, "No more vacations for us. We're homeowners now."

At which point, David and I had a long conversation about the beauty of fixed "rent" that doesn't go up, ever, and a salary that should. We haven't lived in a place long enough for me to see that much in concrete terms, but I know that he's right. It's just hard to wrap my mind around since I haven't experienced it before. When that happens, we will be saving more than if we continued to rent, despite the necessary upkeep expenses. I know it'll be ok. It just feels burdensome at the moment sometimes.

And I guess I miss the gypsy feeling a bit, to tell ya the truth. We're settling down now. I kinda stopped expecting it to happen. I thought I was striving for stability, but after awhile, I got used to life the way it was. For the past 7 1/2 years of our marriage, we didn't know where the wind would blow us next. Usually it was someplace several hours from where we were currently living. We lived in one temporary place after another, meeting new people, having good and bad experiences, but it was all different. Now, we're suburbanites. It's official. The whole buying a house thing put a nail in it, as if the cute almost two-year-old hadn't helped things along tremendously. We have a minivan, a house, a toddler, and another on the way. I just need a Noah's ark necklace and a denim jumper, and I could be my mom in 1981. =)

It's a new experience that I'm trying on, like another skin. It's a little tight and itchy some days. And other days it feels like a perfect fit. I think every stay at home mom probably feels this way some days. Most just don't get to attribute it to a long period of childlessness coupled with frequent moves. Heck, cleaning up the same messes, day in and day out, will do in anyone's good spirits temporarily at times. Maybe we like new messes in different places better. =)

1 comment:

Perry and Amanda said...

Might think of the puzzle thing for the picture - I have a cute one up in Aaron's room.