Hi, everyone. I am sitting in my kitchen at my newly hooked up computer. The cable guys came today and hooked me up at the kitchen desk. I am psyched about my new location! From here, I can monitor laundry, cook dinner, and listen to internet music all at once. I can look up a recipe and leave it up on the screen while I make it. Sweet!
And having an internet connection makes me feel connected to my life again. I swear, my blood pressure went down a ton after I saw my Yahoo account. =) I know, I know, it's very sad, but I'm addicted. Being able to get on here and connect in so many ways to local and long distance friends is so important to me.
The move went remarkably well. Ok, well, I knew it would go well with my hard working bro, sis-in-law, and mom and dad on board. They have moved us many times, and the house is always mostly unpacked by the end of the day we move in. They're amazing. This time, however, I think Vance broke a new record. He put up my curtains before the end of Saturday. We all ate Mom's spaghetti bake together around the kitchen table that night.
This is the first day of real settling in for me. I always have a hard time, every move. Those who are helping us probably realize that I'm very mentally fragile during the early days of moving house. =) I'm still grieving the old place and getting used to the sights, smells, and sounds of the new one. It's hard on me, and I have to fight not to be completely overwhelmed. I don't know why this is, but it just is, and though I'm working on becoming a person who is more adaptable, I fight my basic unadaptable personality quite a lot.
Seth, however, is taking to the place like a duck to water. =) He loves walking around the circle of the first floor over and over again. He's rediscovering his toys in his new toy room. The only mishap we have had so far is that he rode his little car right over the step down that separates the living room from the rest of the first floor. No blood, though.
We have been so blessed. We've received so much help from our family and friends. I really should have absolutely nothing to complain about. That only makes it harder when I fight not to complain.... This is a beautiful house. It's far nicer and larger than our other place. It's been freshly painted from top to bottom. The Christian couple who sold it to us have gone above and beyond to make this a good experience. The back yard is large and green and tree covered, and I can see the whole thing through most of the glassed back doors. It's a great house. I am hoping that I'll stop wanting to go "home" soon. Please, no comments about how I should be grateful. I already know that. That's where the guilt is coming from.
It's cold and a little wet here. The wind has shifted or something. The road noise has been the worst the last couple of days that I've ever heard it. My parents both noticed and told me they probably would've told me not to buy the house if they'd known it would be like this. I wear earplugs at night in my bedroom. You hear the interstate the worst there. In the morning, it sounds like the tractor trailers are coming for me. I have been running the washing machine and playing CDs so I don't have to hear it. The noise makes me cringe, and it makes my shoulders stay stiff. I don't enjoy spending time in my bedroom. I made myself sit in there this morning and do my devotions.
I'm telling you this because I want you to understand why I want to go "home." And why I feel like a fool who bought a house in the summer that sounds like its next to the highway in the winter. And I have to move on! I have to! We bought this house. It's ours. There's nothing wrong with the house itself...
Please pray for me. I need it! I don't want to notice this anymore! I just want the traffic to fade into the background. I want to want to take my little boy outside. Not all days are like this... But I've GOT to be able to rest in the Lord and enjoy the blessing of this house every single day, not just on the less noisy days. I've got to find a way to enjoy spending time in my huge, pretty bedroom. I am sick and tired of being an unadaptable person. It's hurting me, and I've had enough of it.
I'm sure I'll write in a few days and say that things are better. Ok, mostly sure. =) My new kitchen is fantastic, and I'm going to enjoy making beans and rice in it tonight. If I can find everything wherever Terri put it. =) And David wants to have an election party tomorrow night. Can I pull together a homemade dessert in this house with no pictures on the walls? I hope so... =) It'll be a nice challenge.