Saturday, March 22, 2008

Spring!... and ch- ch- ch- changes...

David's at work this morning. Sigh. He has a Big Thing coming up this Thursday in his work world, so please pray for him! He's stressed. The best part is that I get to observe the Big Thing. Mom is coming to watch Seth so I can go to Wilmington with him. I'll be gone Wednesday night through Friday afternoon, so I'll need prayer, too! This will be the first time that I've left him overnight. At least he'll be in his own home with someone he knows well. But its still a little scary. I hope I don't become an emotional mess and have to come back early. Hmm. Nahhh. I'm really looking forward to this! We even get to stay in a hotel, courtesy of the citizens of the United States of America. So if you pay taxes... thank you very much. =)

My ability to go to Wilmington is made possible by the fact that... this was my last day to nurse Seth. I'd been hanging on the the last feeding for as long as possible... not for him, but for me. I would bring him in my bedroom with me in the morning, still zipped in his sleep sack, and I'd nurse him in bed. Then he would be all sweet and cuddly with me. I knew that I had to give up sweet morning cuddle time if I stopped nursing because he is HUNGRY when he gets up, and he needs a snack to tide him over while he cuddles. I had planned to make yesterday the last, and I brought a cup in the bed with me this morning, thinking that would be a nice transition. Not happening. He drank one swig, and then pushed it away, angry tears streaming out of his eyes.

He wanted to nurse! This is the first time he's batted an eyelash about cutting out a feeding. (The other feedings, we've just walked right past the usual nursing spot at the usual time, straight into the high chair, and he hasn't noticed.) He was just fine after I gave in and nursed him. And then he cuddled. I was glad I made today it instead of yesterday. We didn't have to go anywhere, and I could just relax and enjoy my last morning cuddle for awhile. Tomorrow is Easter Sunday, and now that I know that the cup isn't an acceptable transition, he'll be going straight to his high chair. =)

Maybe those of you who have several kids have trouble understanding why I waited until nearly 14 months to wean him. Maybe you understand; I don't know. When you've had infertility, you don't ever feel like you can count on being able to have another one. What if I'll never get the chance to nurse again? It's hard to say goodbye to the precious milestones for everybody I guess, but I think its a little extra hard when you're afraid it might be the last. I'm glad I waited this long, and I took it slow and easy. It wasn't just for him, it was for me and my heart. He loves his cup now, but it did take a bit for him to get used to it. It's wonderful to see him grow up. I'm ready to let go of this... hopefully it won't be the end of all nursing forever.


Perry and Amanda said...

Cograts, I wish you the best in the transtitions to come. I don't have a clue but I am sure it is not easy. My prayers go with you. Enjoy the time with one of my Mom's favorite things about Dad's job is to travel with him.

A Dusty Frame said...

((hugs)) You are blessed to remember the last time.
So often we remember the 1sts but the lasts slip by until we realize that such and such doesn't happen anymore. But then we can't really remember the last time.

Good for you for writing about it so you can remember and cherish it.