Went to a playdate at Kristi's this morning... Met some new mommies and hung out with old friends. I noticed today how my relationships have grown so much over this short time. I got there a little early, thinking Kristi might need some help getting ready with the twins. She opened the door, looking worried, and smiled as she said, "Oh, its just you." And then I helped her finish up 'cause Hannah was having a fussy moment. =)
I feel like what we all strive for in our relationships is "Oh, its just you" moments. We want to know that we are the "go to" friends for our friends, and that they know they don't have to put on their company faces and manners for us. We want to know that we're the kind of people that they won't stress a bit about seeing the floor covered with toys and the baby covered in something sticky.
Being around moms who didn't know some of us in the group well reminded me how I used to feel and still feel coming into an already established group. I relished the fact that one mom assumed that Kristi and I were sisters because she asked me to get something for her when her arms were full with baby. I think its really interesting how simple things make it obvious when you're good friends with someone, and how sometimes those cues can make the hearts of the onlookers sink with that outsider feeling.
I remembered that some of these women are still looking for those relaxed, comfy relationships. Those of us who know each other need to make an extra effort to ask them questions and make sure they're included in conversations. It's the subtle things... stopping to explain to a new person if a friend asks you about something or someone she wouldn't know about. Being conscious about not talking too much to someone you're more comfortable with without turning to include someone you don't know as well. These things are so easy to forget, and they're so important to making a new person feel less lonely and on the outside. I appreciate the many, many numbers of women who've been kind enough to do this for me. I think we all want to return the favor.
Today at playgroup, I "tried out" my new diaper bag. These days, practically the only place I have time to shop is Walmart. And Seth usually only allows me to look at something briefly, throw it in my cart, and promise to myself that I'll keep the receipt in case whatever it is isn't right/doesn't fit/etc. I don't have a spring/summer diaper bag thats big enough now that I take food and toys with me everywhere. I hung this on a kitchen chair yesterday, hoping that looking at it would help me decide if it was too much color. I still couldn't decide, so I threw a couple of things in it and took it to Kristi's. The plan was to see what kind of comments I got, or if anyone would notice. I got great feedback from my diaper bag peers, so it stays. I have cut off the tags. Da da da dum. I think it'll be fun this spring and summer. Blue for a boy, right? =)