Saturday, September 29, 2007

Suburban Saturday morning...

Good morning! And it is a good morning for me! Seth has had a cold for about a week now, and this means that he's been waking up more often at night to nurse. Sometimes he'll wake me up around 5:00, and I'll have trouble going back to sleep. So after he woke up this morning, I was really, really tired, and my darling, sweet, adorable husband got up with him, and I went back to bed. Until 10:00!!! I feel soo refreshed. I can't remember the last time I slept until 10:00. It's been years...

It's a beautiful Saturday morning here. Our house is clean and neat because we had company last night, and I cleaned it for them. =) Ahh, relaxing. The baby is down for his nap, and David is attacking the suburban jungle with a weed whacker. It really needs it. At this point, he says that yard work is relaxing for him. I hope he still feels that way in 20 years...

Our company last night was one of David's co-workers and his wife. We had a great time with them. They actually came and visited David at the Court when we were up there, coming up on vacation with their little boys. It's nice to have some people around who've been there and seen where we just came from. It makes me feel less cut off from that life that I still miss sometimes. I got steaks on sale from Harris Teeter, buy one, get one free, so we grilled. I never know what to do in this situation, but last night, they brought over a bottle of wine. David and I don't drink, not because we think it's a sin, but because the alcoholism rate is so high among lawyers that we decided it was just better not to go there for us. And we're cheap. But, anyway, they didn't know, and I was hoping the wine wouldn't be mentioned, but David said something about where are our wineglasses. So I said I didn't know, hoping that would be the end of it. Then Jay said, "I can drink it out of a paper cup." At that point, I had to admit we didn't have a corkscrew. We don't. I think this is one of those situations where everyone feels a little bad- us for not having a corkscrew and for making it apparent in that way that we don't drink, and them for bringing the wine only to discover that we don't drink. If anybody has a better way of handling this sort of thing than we used, please tell me...

But tonight, David and I are going on a real date!!! I'm pretty stoked about it. We haven't done much of that since Seth's been born, I'm ashamed to admit. Those Christian marriage counselors who tell you that your marriage will fail if you don't have a date night once a week need to find and pay for a babysitter for said once a week date! I don't know about you, but that's hard to pull off for us. My goal, now that he's larger and we have a handle more on his schedule, is to have a date once a month. Wendy of Long-Wended and her darling hubby are coming to babysit for us. We're going to the $1.50 movie, and I'm taking David to one of the restaurants we went to when we were dating as a surprise. I'm really looking forward to it. Maybe I'll even put on some perfume and earrings. Don't fall over from shock, Mom.

Oh, and I also wanted to let everyone in blog world know about Justice Thomas' appearance on 60 Minutes tomorrow night. He'll be on there talking about his autobiography that's coming out. I recommend that you watch. This man is one of the most maligned, most lied about, and most controversial figures in our culture. I have the highest respect for him, and I want others to learn the truth and feel the same. So if you're not going to be home, tape or TiVo it. I think there will be other news shows doing some buzz before the book comes out on Oct. 1. Watch!

Signing off so I can get some breakfast and take a shower. Have a great weekend!!!

Friday, September 28, 2007

The Perfect Stroller... and finding contentment...

May I just say that I have spent hours, literally, trolling the Net in search of the Perfect Stroller. There have been many evenings that I've sat, reading user reviews, hoping that this will be the One. I have now discovered why so many women I know have three or four different strollers. At first, I thought it was because they were eager to run out and throw their money away on multiple strollers that looked just the same to me. Then I became a mom, and I learned the truth. One stroller will not do everything you'd like to do when you have a little one who can't walk, and you want to get out of the house more than twice a month.

There are multiple activities that you do with baby, and it's a little bit hard to do them all with the same stroller. For long walks over bumpy terrain, you need a stroller with big wheels and good shocks. I have that in my Graco Quattro Tour. Check. But, this same stroller is big and bulky, and it weighs about 30 pounds. It knocks into everything in a small store, so mall trips can be very frustrating, much less the thought of hefting it in and out of a car without bruising oneself. So, the Graco Quattro Tour is not the only stroller on Mommy's wish list. One also would like a smaller stroller that can go through security at an airport, is lightweight for lifting in and out of a car, and in my case, has a nice, large basket for hauling all my/baby's stuff, and has a cup holder for the ever present Dr. Pepper. This stroller should also not be as ugly as sin, should not be incredibly cheap or flimsy looking, and should not be made by Italians who want to take many, many $$$$ for it. =)

Let's face it, ladies, your everyday stroller says something about you, the mom. If your stroller is really old and really dirty, it reflects on your appearance, just as not brushing your hair would. If your stroller is really, really expensive, say, a Bugaboo for example, it says that you have money, and you want to spend it on the nicest baby products on the market. You're probably also wearing an outfit from Ann Taylor, and your nails are done. If you push a middle of the line Graco which is relatively clean, you're a normal gal without much to prove. If you have the lightest stroller around, then you're a minimalist... Etc., etc. Yes, these are gross generalizations, but I think there's some truth to them. At least a little, anyway.

I found the perfect stroller for me for the infant stage. I wore it completely out, and I'll be using it until David prys it from my fingers and makes me move on to something else. It's a Baby Trend Snap n' Go. I LOVE this stroller. I want to marry it. It does everything I have wanted it to do, and more. It is small and narrow, so it doesn't knock into anything in stores. It has a huge basket that I can access from the front or back. (This basket used to hold 50 pounds of groceries every week in D.C. I'm not kidding.) It weighs about 8 lb.!!! And it has two cup holders and a compartment for my keys. It also cost $50. The folks at Baby Trend are genius' for making this item. And then they stopped being so smart. They don't make anything even close to as cool for when you get past the infant carrier stage. So, here I am, looking for something that I can like just as much, that does the same things that I've come to love about my Snap N' Go. Something that doesn't cost a small fortune, and that isn't ooogly. Because I want to be a stylin' stroller mommy, I confess. I think I may have found it. Now to convince David that I need it instead of a $15 umbrella stroller...

But I was strolling Seth this morning on the walking trail, enjoying the greenery all around me, and plotting how I could get my hands on this new stroller. All of a sudden, I realized that I was so intent on this line of thought that I was ignoring the beauty all around me. I thought, "You know, do I put even half this much concentrated thought into appreciating all the wonderful things that I already have? Instead of spending all this thought on obtaining something, I need to be thanking God for what I have already." After all, it won't be the end of the world if I don't get a new stroller. I have sooo much already. So I stopped thinking about that, and I started praising God for all the good gifts He has already given. I thought, "I have a great stroller that I'm pushing right now, when many in the world don't have a thing to use to transport their babies except their two arms. I have a beautiful little home, a lovely back yard, a nice minivan, the ability to stay home with Seth..." What more do I really need? I have been so blessed. More stuff won't make me truly happy. Sure, it might make things a little more convenient sometimes, but I have so many conveniences already. God has already spoiled me completely rotten.

This morning was a good wake up call for counting my blessings. How about you? How many moments of the day do you spend planning and plotting for the next item that you think would make your life so much better? How much of that time is wasted time? What should you be thinking about more instead?

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

8 months old today...

My little bugger is 8 months old today. Sniff. We went to get David's car washed and de-crudded today, and as I stood there, my chin in his soft hair as we watched cars go swish-swishing past the window, I glanced at my watch. I thought, "He was born 15 minutes ago, 8 months ago." And I took a minute to marvel at the grace of God, given to me in this tiny baby that I longed and longed for... He's such a big boy now. I'm realizing that it's soo easy to just let the day go by without playing enough or interacting enough with him. I get busy with the piddly, unimportant things that I have to do, and I shouldn't. Things go so much better if I just stop and sit and make silly faces at him while I eat my lunch. The simplest attention from me just lights him up like a firecracker. If I put a green plastic ring on my head and let it fall on his lap, he grins like he just won the Powerball. So why don't I do that more? Sometimes I forget that he's old enough now to enjoy being played with more and more. I don't want to forget that, and I want to make the extra effort to be super silly with him. Oh, and Sarah, I can tell you why moms in grocery stores point out everything to their kids and talk in baby voice. They're not doing it to be sickeningly cute or to impress us with their mad parenting skills. They're doing it because that's how they talk all day, and they have ceased caring whether anyone hears them or not, as long as their child isn't screaming and throwing boxes of crackers into the aisles.

Some of Seth's favorite things at 8 months:
- When we suck on his hands and feet
- Playing with the baby in the mirror
- Any food, really. He eats everything well right now, but he seems to have a slight preference for veggies. Maybe it worked... =)
- Having Mommy or Daddy sing to him.
- Reading books. He'll sit still for 17 board books at one time. David did it last night. I swear.
- Being left in nursery with new people to charm. He especially loves the older ladies at Community Bible Study because they'll hold him for the entire 2 hours.
- Being outside on the porch. When nothing else will calm him at night, wrapping him in a blanket and swinging on the porch swing with him will do the trick.
- Explaining the mystery of the Trinity to his stuffed animals. I think he's already converted Mr. Elephant. Or maybe he's just babbling...

Monday, September 24, 2007

Sick of the hunt...

Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails. -Proverbs 19:21

We went to another new church this Sunday. And may I just say, I'm tired of it. I'm tired of walking in the door, trying extra hard to look pleasant. I'm tired of making small talk with the greeter, and I'm tired of asking to be directed to the appropriate Sunday School class. I'm tired of wondering what kind of nursery setup Seth will be handling this time around. I'm tired of endless evaluating... "Hmm, was this sermon good? What did you think of the preacher? Did you see many other couples our age? How many babies were in the nursery?" Blech.

In some ways, I feel like we're trying too hard. Maybe I'm making this more complicated than it should be. But... I feel like the penalties for getting this decision wrong are so great that I am tempted to be super critical. We believe that this is one of the most important decisions that a Christian can make. You see, for me and for David, the local body of believers is where true family is, no matter where we move. It is the place where we go to grow in relationships with the Body of Christ. It's where we hope to find others to fellowship with and to serve with. It's where we want Seth to see faith lived out in the lives of other Christians besides just us. So, this is a high stakes game... It's important.

But because it's so important, it's easy for me to get really stressed about it. I want to land somewhere and get plugged in so badly. I want to start getting to know others in Sunday School class. We could start having them over to dinner. Then we could start helping with kid's classes and participating in outreach ministries... there's so much I want to do. But I can't do it until we pick.

I know that I am a victim/slave to my past church experiences. I grew up in a small, home church that came out of the Jesus movement in the '70s. It was doctrinally sound and basically Protestant in theology. But it had no paid ministry positions, and it was entirely deacon and elder led. The idea was that once we outgrew one house, we would then split off into another house. This happened when I was a kid, and about 30 people met in each house, coming together for a weekly Bible study of both houses. The goal was to never buy a building of any kind. The service was also simple and completely driven by the Holy Spirit. Each member spoke as they felt led, taking turns reading Scripture and expounding briefly on it, and each member started songs as they felt led. Sometimes there would be pauses of silence in between, but nobody minded that much. Children were encouraged to read scripture and contribute. If anything unBiblical was said, which was extremely rare, an elder would gently correct, and everyone would move on. The whole idea was to have a church that was as close to the New Testament pattern of church as possible. This had it's drawbacks, but it also has it's unique plusses as well.

Here is what I gained from growing up in this church. I have a strong desire to know what other Christians are learning from their time in God's word, and I want to know their struggles so that I can pray for them. I got this every Sunday from those around me as I grew up, and it showed me that every believer has something to teach others, including me, just a kid. The down side is that I get impatient in traditional services because I wasn't used to spending my Sunday mornings listening to the same man speak each week. I look around me, and I want to hear from everyone there. I liked that I grew up believing that every single believer has the responsibility to feed every other believer, and thought most believers belive that, I saw it practiced in a unique way every week. I knew more about the lives of other believers in my church growing up, the tough stuff and the good stuff, than I ever have since in any other church that I've been in, and I think that was because of our Sunday morning style of worship. It only works if your church is small, by the way, and I know that. Oh yeah, and I grew up going to church in jeans, so I rebel against dressing up to go to church. This particular hangup is the bane of the existence of my traditionally raised church going husband. =)

As you can see, most traditional Protestant churches don't operate at all like the church I grew up in. And I'm learning to accept that, but it's really hard for me sometimes. After all, my home church wasn't perfect, and I know that. But Sunday school has become very important to me because it is the one place in the traditional church Sunday morning where everyone can speak and at least have a chance at sharing what God is teaching them. I've learned that a church that just has small groups, and does not have Sunday School, is a hard place for me to go. I just miss Sunday school, and I don't want to do without it on Sunday morning. I'd like to have small group, too, but I don't think it takes the place of Sunday school.

But as I'm reading back on what I've written, I'm realizing this illustrates a big point that I'd like to make here. I can list all the things that I like and don't like, want and don't want, think are important and unimportant, all day long. There's a long list, and it's length frustrates me. Because I am learning, over and over, that what matters most is not what I think matters about church. What matters most is what God thinks matters about church. I may have a list a mile long of qualities that my "perfect church" should have. And I may turn around to find out that God doesn't want me in my "perfect church." If it's all about Him, and it's not about me, then He may just want to plant me somewhere that doesn't meet even half of my arbitrary criteria for church membership.

David was talking with someone lately, and they got to discussing church membership. He shared some about our hunt, and this man spoke about his issues with the same thing. What it came down to for this guy, was that he has a very specific idea of what church should look like, down to the specific type of songs and the elements of the worship service. I can sympathize some. But what he decided was that, since he hadn't found a church that met his criteria, he wasn't going to get involved in a local church at all. He thought it would be too hard for him not to try to change things so that it would look like what he wanted, so he decided not to participate. When David told me about this conversation, it was a huge wake up slap in the face for me.

I don't want to decide not to join a church because it doesn't look like what I've envisioned. I don't want to be a person who's never satisfied with their church home because it continually falls short. I don't want to become a person who can't commit because they're hoping there will be something better down the street if they just hold out long enough. I don't think there's any church out there that looks exactly like I'd like it to look. But that's probably good, because I'm probably wrong about what it should look like anyway. I need to go to God's perfect church for me. Please pray that we'd find it, and that we'll be completely open to God telling us where to go. And please pray that I stop worrying about it and rest in the fact that God will show us what to do, since we're really wanting for Him to show us.

P.S. Please be kind. I know that some of the things that I've said here are controversial. I know that many may not agree with me. That's ok. My goal is to use my background to explain my current situation, not to start a huge argument about how weird I am/was. Regardless of your style of church, they all have some good things to offer, and I don't think that any church or style has a corner on the market. =)

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Weekend at home...

Seth and I went home on Thursday night after dinner... I put him in his sleeper, buckled him in, and he slept all the way. I love that it's that easy right now. The drive didn't seem to take any time at all. This is the first time I've done it since we moved back to NC, and I'm glad it feels so short. We got in late, and I put him right down, and the next morning, I hit a couple of consignment sales before heading to Rachel's to pick her up. I don't know anyone pays full price for toys; I had no idea there were so many great deals to be had! I got him a few things that I'll be giving him for his birthday. I got a few clothes; sadly not enough, but it was a big help. I think I'm a brand snob, specifically Gymboree... I even got David a backpack carrier for $7. We took it out tonight, and Seth and David both love it. Ok, but I digress. I got to Rachel's, and we loaded up Emma and Seth in our van, I turned the key, and... nothing happened. We've drained the battery twice overnight lately because I'm not used to it having to slam a tailgate so the light will go off. I thought it had recharged, but it was toast. So, we unloaded all the kids and gear and put them in her mom's car, and we headed out. I'm glad I've known her since I was 12, or that would've been a lot more embarrassing. (We got a new battery the next day, and everything's fine now.) But we had a good time, and Seth had a couple of big firsts. He had his first ride in the front of the cart at Costco, and he had his first time sitting in a high chair at a restaurant. Since he just learned to sit up a couple of weeks ago, I wasn't sure what he was capable of, but he can do it!

David got in on Friday night after work, and we went to visit my grandmother on Saturday morning. My Great-Aunt Mary came over to see Seth, too, and it was really nice. This is Aunt Mary and Seth. Aunt Mary is soo much fun. She is the spunkiest, funniest old lady I've ever met. I aspire to be like her when I am older. She made Seth a Raggedy Andy doll from a pattern a few months ago, and she's 86 years old! She dresses up and tells children stories in the Pumpkin Patch at church every year. She used to be a preschool teacher, my preschool teacher, and when I got married, she gave me recipes for Green Eggs and Ham and homemade playdough. I'm so glad that Seth is getting to know her, too.


Then, it was off to see our friends Ben and Janet. They have been friends of ours since their kids were little, and Andrew is now a Sophomore in college, and Molly's a high school senior. This family has been with us through thick and thin, and they're one of the first Oak Ridge families that David got to know closely. We can talk with them for hours about just about anything, and they have been extremely hospitable with us--always having us over on short notice--even on Christmas day a couple of times! We didn't have long, but we spent a couple of hours just catching up. Then Ben and Janet took turns feeding Seth. It was a blast.
Back in Raleigh now. We had hot dogs on the grill and mac n' cheese for dinner. Super healthy. =) It was another church hunt Sunday. I'll write about that more later; I'm so tired of it, and that wasn't just because I was tired this morning. Time for the season premiere of the Simpsons... =)

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Arabic stew...

I got this recipe off of some other woman's blog, and now I have no idea who I took it from. But, it's really good. If it was your blog, let me know, and I'll give you credit... Anyway, I made it tonight. Easy, good flavor, and I'm freezing the leftovers...

Bezella


1 onion, chopped
1 lb. stew meat
1 t. salt
1/2 t. coriander
1/2 t. allspice
1/2 t. pepper
3 diced tomatos or canned diced tomatos
1 bag frozen peas and carrots (I used frozen peas and chopped up some carrot in the food processor
cooked rice

Brown onion and meat in a stew pot. Put in spices and stir; cook for 10 minutes. Add tomatos and veggies. Add a little bit of water, more if you want it soupy, less if you don't. Bring to boil, and then lower to a simmer. Simmer on low for about an hour. Coriander is better if you cook it a while. Serve over rice. Enjoy!
Oh, yeah, Seth and I are leaving tonight to go to Mom and Dad's for part of the weekend. They won't be there, so we'll be there camping out in their lovely house. =) I miss the old homeplace. But Rachel's baby girl is having her first birthday party on Saturday, and I'm finally close enough to go to something like that, so there ya have it. We're hitting all the consignment sales on Friday. Rachel is the Queen of Consignment. David will join us on Friday night after work, and we'll be back by Saturday night so we can try yet another church on Sunday...
And I have a big bone to pick with people who make clothing for baby boys. Why is that you people have decided that once a baby boy hits 9-12 months, all his clothes will be miniature adult man clothes?!!! I'm sorry, but I went through Target, looking for some fall things for Seth, and I was so ticked off that I left without anything. I do not have a miniature lumberjack, and I'm not ready to put him in polo shirts and mini sweatpants, nor do I want him looking like a tiny Abercrombie model. Where are all the suits with dinosaurs and puppy dogs on them? All of a sudden, he gets into 9 month clothes, and he's an adult? What's up with this? The child isn't even crawling yet! You moms of little girls do not understand my pain... I'm hoping I find something good at these sales, or off to the expensive baby stores I go. I will not give in! It's too early for this!

Late fall afternoon on the porch...

It was such a nice afternoon yesterday that I had to take Seth on the porch to play. This is David's turtle blanket that he had when he was little. Diana was kind enough to pass it on to us, and I love using it. It's perfect for porch sitting...



I wish I could adequately show the beauty of the light filtering through our trees. I was just pleased that the flash didn't go off, so I got natural lighting, anyway...


I sat on the porch, one eye on a book, and one eye on him... He's learning to play some by himself, but not much... serene playtime... baby fascinated with small things...


Score!!!... and a prayer request...

Sweet!!! One of the largest libraries in town is literally about 3 minutes from the house! And they have all the Christian fiction together in one section!! Not that I like to have all those authors pigeonholed into one genre, but it does help when looking for something clean and fluffy to read. =) I keep finding, over and over, that God gave us a huge blessing when he gave us this little house...

And on to a prayer request... I'm beginning to be concerned that I have a chronic health problem. About 4 months ago, about May 16, I think, I started having bladder pain and urgency. (There isn't any delicate way to put it, but I've avoided asking for prayer long enough on this because it's an indelicate problem to have.) Anyway, I thought I had a low grade UTI, but when I went to the doctor, they couldn't find any infection. They gave me an antibiotic anyway and sent me home. I took the antibiotic, but I couldn't tell that it made a noticeable difference. The pain and urgency went away after about a week. Weeks passed with no problems, then the pain and urgency came back. Another visit to the dr., another lack of infection. To make a long story short, this pain has been coming up, bothering me for several days, and then dying away, every two or three weeks since May. I went to a urologist here, and he did a CAT scan, looking for a kidney stone. He found nothing. I will probably be making another appointment soon to have him do another, supposedly painful, procedure, hopefully to find something they can treat.

I looked up my symptoms on WebMD recently, and it wasn't pretty. It looks like this could be something called interstitial cystitis. It's an inflammation of the bladder wall, and it causes this kind of chronic pain and urgency. There is no cure for it, and it is most common among young and middle-aged women. When I read this, I was pretty tempted to panic. I have been tempted to panic on and off since I read it. The thought of having this chronic condition for the rest of my life is enough to make me depressed, quite frankly. I've always been pretty healthy, and I feel like I'm too young to have to begin dealing with chronic pain.

At it's worst, the pain is very distracting and keeps me from wanting to move around much at all. It can make it difficult for me to sleep at night very occasionally. At it's slightest, I can ignore it and push it away relatively easily. I have discovered that Advil can help, but I don't want to become dependent on Advil to be able to enjoy my day.

God gave me a big education in compassion through infertility. I don't want to continue that education with a chronic pain condition. I now know how my dad feels when his prostate flares up on him. I feel more compassion for him, and I know now how hard it is for him to enjoy life when it's at it's worst. I am thankful for increased compassion for him, but I don't want it at this price. I'm not going to try and sound all spiritual. I'm not Mother Theresa, and I wish God would take this away from me. Now. Please pray that the Lord would heal me of this. Oh, and also, please pray that I would find a babysitter so that I can go to the doctor when I need to go.

Free Chick-Fil-A

I just found this Chick-Fil-A promotion for a free Chick-Fil-A sandwich and a medium coke. You sign up, and they send you a coupon. Go to www.freechickenandcoke.com. We're big Chick-Fil-A fans, especially David, so I thought this would be fun. And I don't mind if they send us other coupons. We might just use them.. Gotta fussy baby this morning. Probably won't write much more now.

Oh yeah, we're heading out to find the library after his morning nap. Any suggestions for good books that I could pick up there? I enjoy well written works that aren't depressing and aren't full of profanity. Not a big action/adventure thriller girl. And I love classics, but I feel like I've read them all sometimes. Occasionally I think the only author I like is a dead one. =) Thanks, y'all.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Birthday wishes...

Happy Birthday, Paula!!!
Here's hoping it's a wonderful one! I hope you get to go out to eat tonight, and that you get to take a nap today. =) The world holds no greater pleasures for a mom with two under 3. Love you!

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Partner-size office...

This post is mostly for Powell and Helen, since they know what I'm talking about...

We went this morning to David's new office to put up pictures and knick knacks and whatnot. The baby took his morning nap in his tent in a dark corner by some empty attorney offices, and we closed the door and hammered away to our heart's content. We got up the diplomas (including the obnoxiously huge one from UVA), and David's signed picture of all the Justices. When we walked in, I was shocked. The office is HUGE! It's the size of a mid-ranking partner office at David's old law firm, and it has a whole wall of three huge, floor-to-ceiling windows. The view is great. He's on the top floor of the building, and his view is of lots of green trees and neat old houses. It's really nice. So there, law firms of the world! He may be getting paid less, but at least he's not holed up in a closet sized office with a teeny window, like he would be in DC.

David is still adjusting to life outside the law firm world, though. He had to laugh at how spoiled he'd gotten. Good-bye, ever-flowing soda fountains on each floor. Hello, grimy coffee pot with money cup sitting next to it. Good-bye, secretaries who know how to do everything and mostly do it for you. Hello, self-sufficiency. Good-bye, nicely stocked supply room. Hello, supply cabinet with half used, floppy legal pads and nothing left but pink and purple highlighters. Good-bye, posh firm events with gourmet food. Hello, yearly picnic complete with pink hot dogs.

But, at this new office, most people get every other Friday off! Can you believe it? All you have to do is agree to work a 9 hour day every day! We had to laugh at that. David hasn't worked less than that anywhere he's worked since he graduated from law school five years ago. At this office, the question is not, "Do I come in this weekend?" The question is: "Do I come in on my Friday off?" I feel soooo blessed... a living wage, and every other Friday off (in theory)... my cup overfloweth...

Friday, September 14, 2007

A new friend...

I'm feeling so great today, and it's because I found a new friend! I'm soo excited, you don't even understand... A couple of weeks ago, David and I met a couple in Sunday School at the church we were visiting. They moved here about a month ago from Texas, and she is a stay-at-home mom to a 2-year-old daughter. I mentioned meeting her in an earlier post, I think. Well, we both signed up for MOPs, and I saw her this Tuesday and asked her if she'd like to set up a "play date" (the mommy lingo is still new to me). She was agreeable, so this morning, she and her little girl came over. They came at 9:30, in grubbies and no makeup just like me, and they just left at... 1:30. Seth loved playing with her daughter, and after I put him down for his morning nap, we went outside, and she used the playset, and we hung out with a bunch of toys on the porch. We talked, and talked, and talked, and talked... We both had horrible moving stories. She said mine won, but hers was pretty darn close. We're both lifesize Chatty Cathy dolls. And we're both desperate for a sense of community and friendship. We're learning that it's hard to break into established mommy groups. She's enrolled in a mom's club, Kindermusik, and MOPs, and she's trying, but it looks to her like many of the other moms in her activities are already busy with established groups and friends. I've been noticing the same thing. We're happy for them, but that just makes it a bit harder for us to break through. Like Cousin Keith says, "You can have the best friendship resume in the world, but unless there's a job opening, there's no room, even for the perfect candidate." So I'm thrilled that the Lord led me to someone else that needs a friend. If we hadn't gone to that church, and that Sunday School class, on that particular day, we wouldn't have met, or it would've taken a lot longer. I have no idea how this friendship will develop. We may become lifetime friends, or we may be friends for a season, but I'm just thrilled that I feel like there is now someone I can call sometimes to take walks with, go to the mall, or come over for a playdate. We can learn Raleigh together, and share the knowledge that we've picked up along the way. Thank you, Lord. You have provided, once again, exactly what I've been hoping for...

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Why do I blog...

I've been thinking about why I blog for the past few weeks. It's just been something that's been in the back of my head, and it'll pop up for a few minutes, and then I'll mull it over, and push it aside for another think session. But I think my thoughts are starting to jell a bit on it, so it seemed like it might be time to share.

When I started this blog, about two years ago!, it was because my sister-in-law had a blog. I realized that I was learning a lot about their experiences, her thoughts, and their everyday moments from her blog, and I realized that this could become a good family communication tool for me as well. So I started one up. I didn't post much in the beginning, maybe twice or three times a month. The only people who knew the blog existed were family and friends. I blogged for them, and I blogged for me. I had kept a journal as a teen, and I've always enjoyed writing, so it was a natural journaling outlet. I started seeing that my experiences and faith struggles during infertility might be useful to others going through similar hard times. A friend emailed me, telling me that she'd used part of one of my posts in a Bible study that she was teaching. I was touched, and I was glad that something small that I'd said might be of service to other hurting people. So I tried a little harder to make what I wrote relevant to others, instant of just plain ranting about my life. But, still, mainly, it was a journal of my life and my thoughts about what I was experiencing and how I felt about it... maybe a little narcissistic, but hey, that's what journaling is, I guess.

Well, anyway, time moved on, and I started posting more often, and I began hearing from various people that they read my blog. People that I had no idea would be reading my blog were reading it. People that I didn't know were reading it and still are. I would get comments occasionally that would tell me so. Friends would ask to link me to their blogs. And slowly, but surely, some changes started creeping into my writing, largely unnoticed by me, but still there, nonetheless.

The piece de resistance was when I realized that "A Gracious Home" was linking to me. I was scrolling through Sallie's blog one day, and I was shocked to discover my piddly little blog under her list of Favorite Places. This was big, people! See, Sallie gets tons of traffic at her blog. She's a semi-professional blogger, a big league player in the mommy blogger world. And she was linking my pathetic little site! I considered it a great compliment, and immediately, my brain switched gears, and not in a good way, either.

Sallie linking me made me realize that I was getting a little too jazzed about recognition of the work I'd put into the blog. Being a stay at home mom is lonely, thankless work sometimes. The biggest thing that I accomplish on a daily basis is getting laundry done, keeping Baby happy, and putting food on the table. It isn't glamourous, but I knew that ahead of time, and I'm still thrilled to be doing this work. But... it's nice when you feel like your non-mommy side is being appreciated. I felt like I had a little "working world" type appreciation when Sallie linked me.

And I immediately changed my style a bit more. I started worrying about what I would say on my blog. I wondered if my posts were interesting enough. Maybe I should spice them up a bit, have a contest or something, like all the big dog mommy bloggers. Maybe I should do more crafty stuff, put some pictures up more... Me, but a more interesting, upbeat, me.

And then I realized, "Whoa, Nellie, how did this happen? This blog was supposed to be a fun, creative outlet for me. It was supposed to be a communication/ministry tool for family and friends. What happened?" What happened was that I forgot the reasons why I started blogging in the first place, and I started placing love of random people's opinion up there as a reason to blog. I started wanting others to only see my shiny, happy, uncontroversial side. I started doing more self censoring in an effort to appeal. Not good.

A couple of weeks ago, a hacker got into some of David's accounts. I panicked, and I shut down my old blog address. I wanted to make it harder for him to find me and us, so I didn't leave a link to my new address. And I asked Sallie to take me down and not put me up again right away. I don't know if she'll ever put me up on her sidebar again, but if she doesn't, hey, that's just fine with me. I learned some things about myself when she took me down and when she put me up...

So I'm going to step back, take a cleansing breath, and try to reclaim my original purpose in blogging. I will be blogging what I feel, what God is teaching me, and the mundane things that I'm doing. If I want to share a craft or a recipe, it won't be because I'm trying to increase traffic at my site. I will not get a sitemeter to tell me how many people are visiting, and I will not be trying to get tech savvy so that I can make this blog more attractive for the wrong reasons. If I change it up, it will be for me, not to impress anyone. I will not obsess about being a great writer and impressing others with my writing skill or my writing style. I'll edit, like I always have, but I won't obsess. And I'm going to write what I think, even if it isn't always PC, and even if many people don't agree with me. Since when is healthy, respectful disagreement such a bad thing?

I've learned that blogging can take on a life of it's own, and it might not be the life that you want to be living.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Seth finally learns to sit up...

Yes!! Alright!! Way to go, baby! Or at least, that was what was being screamed a couple of days ago... My baby has finally learned to sit up on his own at the ripe old age of 7 months. We went to the pediatrician, and she gave us this horrible checklist of things he should be doing. I hate those. They're designed to make you worry if your baby hasn't checked off every single thing that the Experts say he should be doing by his age. Then the pediatrician comes in and says, "Oh, he's not doing that? (Mild frown) Well, keep working on it."

While we were at the beach, we walked by this mom sitting with her happy, sand covered baby girl, age 5 months. She asked us how old Seth was, and then she said, "When did he start sitting up? She just started this week." Then she lifted off her hands, and behold, the tiny tot sat there, beating the sand and giving everyone a gummy smile. Me: "He hasn't really started sitting up yet," (through gritted teeth smile). David, Seth, and I walked away, with me saying, "Do you really want to be showed up by a 5 month old? Huh, huh?" He was unmoved, happily chewing David's fingers.

I think that Seth is just the kind of child who's going to sit back, observe, and carefully and methodically decide what he wants to do and when. I think he's been physically capable of sitting up for a long time now, but he just wasn't ready. He wanted to enjoy floor play a little more or something. But I am glad that he's doing the sitting up thing now so the pediatrician won't be hounding me at his next visit. =)

We went to MOPS this morning. It was a roomful of women in my same stage of life, all looking for friends and playdates. Heavenly. We made some beribboned flip flops that I may or may not ever wear. And I have a tentative play date set up on Friday with another mom who just moved here. We're settling in, slowly but surely. And... Seth napped in the nap room in the nursery! Awesome! I'm hoping this keeps up. I won't feel as bad about taking him and leaving him there during nap time. Please pray for no separation anxiety. It's easy to leave him in nursery now, and I'm crossing my fingers that it will continue to be.

Monday, September 10, 2007

A visit from a lifetime friend...


Happy Birthday, Sarah!!!

It's Sarah's birthday today, and I'm sooo pleased that she came to share it with me. She's turning the big 2-9. It won't be long before childhood is over. You know, you can't trust anyone over 30... =)

Sarah came down to visit her family this weekend, and she managed to sneak in a little friend time along the way. She had to take Stephen back to the airport to fly out, and since she was in my neck of the woods, she came by here and spent the night last night. That meant she woke up in my guest room on her birthday morning. Now, I consider birthdays a really big deal, so I consider it quite an honor if someone chooses to spend their big day with me. I'm so glad that I got to be the one she spent time with today. It was so exciting, what with the whiny baby and the fascinating trip to Walmart, but I hope you had fun, "Diana."

I miss you, Sarah. I wish that you weren't living in Brooklyn. Sniff. But you know that if life ever just seems too hard, you can hop a jet, and I'll pick you up at the airport. It's not really far away! "True friends are always together in spirit..." Love you.

Now off to down some caffeine... Those late nights of talking do me in at this point... Beef and bean burritos for dinner...

Saturday, September 08, 2007

Baby's First Circus... free ticket...

I just found this great link for a free ticket for your baby's first circus! Ringling Brothers has a program where you register your less than a year old child, and they send you a free ticket, redeemable anytime, for his/her first circus. There doesn't appear to be any catch. I gave them my spam mail email address, and they may send me junk mail, but I'm moving in a couple of years anyway, so I don't care. I always loved the circus growing up. It would come to town right around my birthday every year, and I loved going as my special birthday treat. I'm looking forward to taking Seth. So... if you have a baby under a year old, and you love the circus go sign up here: www.ringling.com/offers/baby.aspx.

Thursday, September 06, 2007

How to make a personalized baby plate...

Every time I get a new niece or nephew, I make them something homemade as a baby gift. I've crocheted blankets, crocheted pillows, and embroidered personalized wall art. Judson may be a boy, and he may never care, but I have a fairness policy on this... so he gets something, too. But since my time to craft has become rather restricted, I decided to do something this time around that would only take a few hours to do. I've painted plates before for birthday presents and wedding gifts, but it's been a couple of years since I've dusted off those skills. But today, I made a plate for Judson, and I thought I'd show you how I did it, in case you might be inspired to try the same... It's really not that hard once you get the hang of it. I did this plate today during Seth's extended afternoon nap. It took about 3 hours from start to finish.

First, you need the supplies pictured above. You need some paper towels for blotting your sponges on before you start stenciling, an alphabet stencil set that you cut the letters out of, some round sponge brushes of various sizes, acrylic enamel glass paint, and very important, a box of toothpicks and a glass of water. You also need a hairdryer plugged in nearby.

I started with a plain, white plate that I got from Walmart. Walmart always carries cheap, plain white plates, so it's a good place to go for that sort of thing.

Then you arrange your stencils like you want them, trying to get the spacing correct.


Then you begin stenciling. I put up the following picture to prove that you don't have to be good at stenciling for this to work. When I first tried this, I would get so frustrated because I would pull up the stencil after sponging, and it would look like this. I'd wash it off and try again and again... with the same nasty results. That's when I learned the toothpick trick. A toothpick is a miracle tool in this case. You can dip the tip of one in a little water and then scrape around the edges, getting off the nasty smudges. You can also dip it in a little paint to touch up areas you missed. With a toothpick, my stenciling goes from this...

To this... Pretty amazing, isn't it. After I do each letter on the stencil, I blast it with a hairdryer set on hot and low so that it dries a bit before I lay the edge of the next stencil letter on top of it. That prevents smudges, and I can keep working quickly.

Here you have it! Martha Stewart I am not. I don't have an artistic bone in my body. But I can personalize a plate so that it looks (sort of) like I got it from Pottery Barn. And I didn't have to wait 4 weeks for personalization or pay $50 for it, either. Try it! The supplies don't cost much, and you can find them at any Hobby Lobby or Michaels in the glass/ceramics painting section. I may try painting a piggy bank next. You never know...

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

David's first day and other randomness...

David's first day of work went great. He spent it primarily as many of us have spent many first days at work. He had orientation. This involved many hours of meetings as various heads of divisions trouped by him, explaining their various specialties. I always kind of liked the first day of a new job. I liked the orientation, and the chance to look around me and ask questions before being expected to do any actual work. David doesn't like it. He's itching to get started. Today, he's watching more training videos, but I think he's resigned to his fate. Thursday will involve actual work. He's a little nervous because this is a very new aspect of lawyering to him, so please pray for him as he gets acclimated.

I struggle with how much to say about David's job on this blog. His new line of work involves greater risk to us as a family if certain elements of our society decide they want to do us harm. So I don't think I'll be talking much about what he does or referring to it much on this blog. I have to do my part to keep from drawing attention to him so that our family will be protected. So I'll just say that he'll be working hard so that all Americans can sleep safely in their beds at night, and he'll be working hard to bring justice for those who have been hurt. I am extremely proud of him, and I know he'll do really well at it (because he's brilliant), even though many aspects of this new job are unfamiliar to him. Seth is also going to be so proud of his daddy when he gets old enough to understand what he does. I'm looking forward to that. =)

And we're hanging in there at home. I'll be honest. It was a lonely feeling this morning when I got up. I realized last night when David got home that the few hours we got with him before bed seemed totally inadequte, considering what I'd been spoiled with. It felt like I barely saw him. I'll get used to it, but it is a pretty big contrast. But I got up this morning, and we went for another walk, this time around a local lake, and I did a lot of praying for a good attitude and for the isolated feeling to lift, and by this afternoon, things have improved. I'll probably be seeing adult humans tomorrow and the next day. My Bible study starts tomorrow, and I may be hanging out with another mommy friend on Friday, so hopefully, the end of this short week will bring some sort of routine with it. MOPS starts next week...

Oh yeah, and for those of you who are impatient with me for not giving you enough updates, David's voice is holding steady. It is almost completely better. It's been at this stage for a few weeks now, and we're so pleased about that. I wish all of you could hear the contrast between 3 months ago and today. It's pretty amazing. Three months ago, he couldn't speak above a strained whisper, and that did not change for a long time. A few weeks ago, God answered our prayers, and he now sounds almost normal. There have been many, many people praying for him. I thank all of you from the bottom of my heart. Please continue to pray that his voice would be completely restored. If you didn't know him before, you might not know that there is anything wrong. But he doesn't have the vocal range that he did before, and he doesn't have much volume without his voice cracking. Some days his voice has a slightly higher tone to it than others. He wants to be able to sing and make funny voices for Seth's books. Maybe we should just be content with what we have, and I am very thankful for it, but I don't think it's wrong to ask that God would heal him completely. Maybe we won't get it, but I figure it's ok to ask... so please lift him up if you think of it. Your prayers are mighty and effective.

And for those of you that were wondering, David got home later than I expected, Seth was cranky, and he found... no dinner prepartions and a wife who said, "Here..." while throwing the baby at him with one hand and chopping mushrooms with the other. So much for my Happy Housewife dreams... =)

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Day 1- 9:51 a.m.

7:45 a.m.- David heads off for the first day of his new job. I peep through the (fake) lace curtains to watch him fold his long, suited legs into the Camry. He drives away. Sniff. Day 1 of "alone with baby in new city" commences...

7:46 a.m.- Gulp down a bowl of cereal while Seth talks to himself in his crib.

8:00 a.m.- Get baby up, give him a bath, get water splashed in face from vigorous kicking, lotion him down, pull stroller out of minivan, tie on running shoes that have never experienced running...

8:25 a.m.- Begin pushing stroller to the local walking trail down the block. Walk the trail, (Seth chewing on Mr. Froggy), enjoy the nice canopy of green trees and the paved, stroller friendly path. Begin envisioning a future full of morning walks, lovely scenery, and, gasp, exercise. Fantasize about losing those last 15 extra pounds. Imagine six pack abs. Laugh hysterically. Continue walking...

9:20 a.m.- Push stroller up slight hills on the way back. Temperature- 90 degrees, Humidity- 115 %. Become drenched with sweat. Start wondering if those last 15 lbs. are really so bad after all. Wonder if Maine would be a nice place to live.

9:35 a.m.- Back at house. Put cranky baby in swing. Listen to him crying while putting stroller back in car. Find cat throwup on bedroom carpet. Eliminate with Spot Shot, a hairy cat owner's best friend. Read baby three board books. " 'I'm too small,' wailed Puppy..."

9:45 a.m.- Put cranky baby down for morning nap. Ahhh.

Time to get a shower and move on with the day. It's off to a good start, but I know I'm probably going to be fighting some blues throughout the day. I got so used to spending all day, every day, with my best friend. We won't get that again until we're using denture creme. Sigh.

I'm going to be diving in to things here with all my might. The hunt is on for a sense of community. I did meet another mom who's new the area in Sunday School this Sunday. I think she's just as determined to find a network, too. We compared notes, and we're joining the same MOPS group for the year. My community Bible study starts this week, too, so I have some things to look forward to to get me out of the house. And I will have plenty of little errands and odds and ends to attend to that we didn't get done while David was home with us.

And I'm encouraged by the network that we already have here. It's been a long time since we've been able to make a few phone calls one night and pull together a party for the next day, but that's what we did for Labor Day. We had 8 adults and two babies here for a Labor Day picnic yesterday. It wasn't anything fancy, just hamburgers and hot dogs on the grill, but it was so nice. These are all college friends who are in the area, and it's been years since we've been able to hang out with them, playing cards, and eating junk, but we did it yesterday. My porch was filled, my playset was getting used, and I was happy. I'm thankful for that jumpstart to community.

Ok, time to get a shower. We've gotta hit the grocery store later, and I'm going to attempt to be the perfect suburban housewife when David gets home from his first day. I aspire to this: I want him to come in the door, smell the delectable odor of dinner cooking, trip over some baby toys, and find me in an apron with the table set and a happy baby bouncing away in the corner of the kitchen. Ha! We'll see if it happens... =)

Sunday, September 02, 2007

Beachy days...


We're back! Ahh, a week of total spoilage is now over. Sniff. I didn't do anything except sleep really late (along with everyone else =), stuff myself with the buffet of snacks and desserts, read novels, lie on the sand, and let my husband enjoy his last week of non-stop baby parenting to his heart's content. The house my parents rented was right on the beach, so we literally walked down the porch steps, across the bridge over the dunes, and we were right there. As long as someone was willing to be in the house while naps were commencing, the rest of us could go outside. It was wonderful...

Two cousins after a fun week at Topsail Beach... I think they look a little toasted, but that's what a 3 hour drive in the car and a week of napping in unfamiliar places will do to you. I hope they enjoy each other in several years even more than they did this week. Seth was totally enchanted with his big cousin, and Isaac kept going up to him and saying, "Baby...baby...baby....," you get the picture. The fascination with Seth's snoz continues. After Isaac correctly identified him as Baby, he would then proceed to identify his snoz with a plump little finger on "nose, nose, nose..." Sigh.


This is a very special picture to me. This week, we dedicated Seth to the Lord. We somehow missed the announcement for the baby dedication at church before we left DC, and I knew that we wouldn't have another church family for an undefined period of time, so...David and I decided to just dedicate Seth with our family on this beach trip. After all, our family will be with us no matter where we move or go to church. Also, the way a lot of churches do baby dedications seems too formal to me, and if multiple babies are getting dedicated, it also feels impersonal to me. I wanted to have something simple and low key where I could promise to raise Seth for God, and also where I could say something personal to him myself. My brother, Vance, officiated, and he prompted us on our vows to raise Seth for Christ. Each family member spoke to Seth, telling them their hopes for him, and reading a Bible verse to him. We read a letter that his other grandparents had sent (and I'm glad I remembered to ask them to send something last minute.) Then we all laid hands on him and prayed for him together. Dad videotaped the whole thing. The sound came in really well, and you can even hear the surf in the background. I hope that he will treasure this video one day. I know that I will. His dedication is a sweet memory that I will always hold in my heart...

And here's a shot of the living room and kitchen where we spent most of our time. Mom, Terri, and I divvied up the meal preparation. We each cooked two dinners, and one night, we all went out to eat. This meant that the nights that we were on to cook, everyone else could relax and not worry about meal prep or much cleanup. I think it's a good system when you have so many people to feed, and we all got to taste some of each other's new recipes. The night we went out, we somehow picked a seafood restaurant that had no hush puppies. I don't like seafood, but I am all about the hush puppies. Well, my dad knew I was disappointed, so he offered to go next door while we waited and get me some. I told him not to bother, and then he disappeared for awhile. He came back with some hot, fresh hush puppies, just for me. What a sweet daddy. That gesture might not seem like much, but I appreciate the trouble he went to fulfill a little desire of mine. Especially since that's not the kind of coddling I would've gotten as a little girl... I guess this is an unexpected benefit of growing up. =)

Ok, I had to get this shot. It's adorable. We went to my parent's cabin on the White Oak River for an afternoon, even though we weren't staying there. Isaac played in the water, and he had to get a shower, so Vance got in the outdoor shower with him. Vance is wearing pants, but you can't tell it. What a cute little baby bottom!
My sweet smiley boy. He turned 7 months while we were on vacation...

Zack in his cool, big boy swim trunks.

This is The Cabin at Breezy Point. The place would've been condemned years ago if it wasn't for the intensive efforts of a one man historic preservation committee. Way to go, Daddy. This is a family cabin that has been in the family for over 100 years. It is truly nothing fancy. The ceiling has water stains, and there is nothing but a big claw foot tub in the bathroom. If you want to take a shower, you have to go outside and risk having cold water dumped on your head by your little brother... Sorry, flashback. There is no air conditioning. That means that the cabin can only be used a few months out of the year. Mom has been nagging Dad for several decades about putting in AC. Dad recently caved after at least 20 years of family whining. He has promised to put in AC. And since he's a man of his word, and since I have published his promise on the World Wide Web, I'm trusting it will be done by next summer... =) Though it's quite rustic, it has the best view on the point. Vance and I spent many happy Junes wading in the water in old tennis shoes, trying to keep our floats from being punctured on oyster rocks. We hope to pass our skills on to the next generation...

The same day that we went to the cabin for a visit, we stopped by the NC Aquarium at Pine Knoll Shores. One of our cousins gave some big money to build a loggerhead turtle exhibit, so he scored us some free tickets! David decided that Seth needed to build a healthy fear of alligators. I'm not seeing a lot of fear here... Many other things happened on this vacation. I haven't time to tell them all. And I'm sure that you don't really want to hear the plots of the multiple Grisham novels read, and I'm also sure that you don't want to know how many packages of Oreo cookies were consumed. I know you don't want to know what we did on our date night (drove an hour to Jacksonville to see the Simpsons movie- it was great!), and I know you don't want to know that we were out of the house exactly on time, courtesy of Dad, who lives in mortal fear of being charged extra for staying late. A great time was had by all. I hope we can do it again. Thanks for your sponsorship, Mom and Dad!