Tuesday, December 18, 2007

On friends...

Just thought I'd give all of y'all an update on my friends status. Since I did a good bit of whining and some pitiful posts on feeling rejected, it only seems fair to mention that things have improved significantly in the friends department. =)

I have met a girl who lives about 10 minutes from us that has become a good friend. She has twins who are about Seth's age, and it's been great to get to know her better. She's laid back, enjoys a good bargain as much as I do, likes talking about politics, and best of all, she loves to talk about the Lord. It's a great thing when you meet someone who loves to give God all the glory for whatever to whoever she meets. If you ask her, "How'd you get so and so, meet your husband, find such a wonderful church, etc.?," the answer will usually be, "Well, the Lord brought it to me!" I want to be more like that, so I really enjoy hanging out with someone who's farther along in that than I am. I was feeling discouraged about meeting and connecting with people, and on one of those days, she called to ask if I'd take a walk with her. We've been "playdating" ever since. =) What a blessing!

I just got back this morning from a play date with a new friend who has an infant son. She leads a small group at her church, and we had a great morning of hanging out at her house. She lives a little farther away, about 20 minutes, but it's really nothing compared to what I'd have to go through to get to any sort of playdate when we lived in Arlington. I'm hoping we can hang out more.

Both of these women I've met through MOPs. I highly recommend it to anyone who has young children and is searching for mommy friendships. MOPs is different wherever you live, but all the groups have the same goal of fellowship for moms of young children. Being a stay at home mom can be lonely, and we need all the girlfriends that we can get!

My days are becoming more full with people and not just to do lists, and that's how I like to live. I'm not a phone person; just ask my mom. =) It's hard for me to pick up the phone and just call someone, especially when I'm hoarding my nap time for doing devotions, having some stillness, or reading. Nap time goes by, and I haven't picked up the phone. But I love seeing people in person. Getting together for even an hour is a refreshment to me.

I know that moving has given me a great opportunity to reinvent myself each time I've moved. The people that know me now didn't know the selfish, arrogant little brat that I was growing up. They don't know the me of all my many faults of yesteryear. They know the me of today's faults, and I've learned to hide them a little better. =) Well, ok, hopefully I've learned to be more giving and loving and kind and open. At least I seem to have more friends than I did then, and hopefully that's because I'm not such a pill anymore. =)

But my point is that I want to be a woman of God to all the people I meet these days. I want my love of Christ to come across naturally in what I say and do. I don't want to be afraid to refer to Him in casual conversation like I used to be. I want to find the right balance of sensitivity and boldness so that I proclaim him without pushiness and with total ease. After all, He gives me life, and if I hide that, I hide who I really am. I'm trying to be less afraid to ask someone if I can pray with them if they share a concern. I'm trying to be more willing to share an answered prayer or how Christ has showed himself to me, even if I'm not exactly sure whether the person I'm talking to is a Christian or not. I meet so many people these days; I want those people to know that my identity is in Christ, and not assume that it's in my middle class, white, Anglo Saxon, stay at home mom ness. Sure, my conversation is full of talk about diaper brands and sleep routines and baby gear, but it shouldn't be only about that. He is real, He changes lives, and I do Him a disservice if the main thing someone got from a morning with me is that I like to cook, keep my house too clean, and I have a cute baby.

So what about you? How would you like your friendships to be different if you could reinvent yourself as a friend and start from scratch again? What would you like your old friends to see in you if you could take your amazing mind eraser taser thingy and erase some of their memories of you (like when you were 13 and wearing neon pink leg warmers)?


Herb of Grace said...

Ah, the arrogance of youth! Yeah, that'd be the first to go if I could "memory taser" the minds of my old friends. I still blush over some remembered conversations about courting and relationships... Even as an adult I know there are people/friendships I've injured with my tendency to be overconfident in stating my opinion as absolute fact-- a slightly more refined expression of that same arrogance. I pray that as I grow in Christ my "self-identity" will become "Christ-identity" and I will find it less and less necessary to conform others to my own image... KWIM?

Momma B. said...

If I could do over my long ago friendships I would put myself out there more...I always waited to be asked...now I do more asking.

Sherry said...

Sometimes I wish that people I used to be friends with in the past who I haven’t seen or spoken to in a long time would not base their assumption of who I am now on who I used to be in the past. Not that I was a horrible person, but I am sure I was immature and did and said things to offend people. But as we all know, when we change and mature, we are not the same people we were. So I would like to be given a chance as a friend again to those people now instead of being treated like I didn’t even exist.